


It Was Always You

by discordandrhythm



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:59:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 46,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordandrhythm/pseuds/discordandrhythm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Werewolf AU. Kurt and Sebastian have been at each other's throats since the Smythes moved to Lima. Growing up as Alphas-to-be of two separate packs is tricky enough, until Kurt's mom dies and his animosity towards Sebastian turns into an unlikely friendship. When Sebastian tries to move their relationship a step further, proposing a bond that is stronger than any known to humans, Kurt realizes that he was wrong along. Sebastian doesn't want to take his pack from him, he wants a pack WITH him. Written for the Kurtbastian Big Bang 2013.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started off because of Kay. Because she introduced me to a little show called Teen Wolf and gave rise to my obsession with werewolf aus. It probably would not have been completed without her either. She's listened to me scream and cry and try to flip my way through four big bang ideas before I settled on this one, and she is also responsible for drawing the gorgeous fanart that goes with this fic. <3
> 
> I don't know what I would have done without Shauna and her amazing beta skills. I think I drove her mad with grammatical errors and last minute additions, but I am not exaggerating when I say this fic is SO much better because of her. 
> 
> Thank you to Bron for a last minute read through, and I MEAN last minute. I've been really horrible with finishing things on time, partly due to RL and partly due to my habit of freaking out when I'm close to ending a fic, but she was a complete angel and read through more than 30k in a matter of hours and sent it back with her comments and flailing.
> 
> Speaking of comments and flailing, Elen has been one of my biggest cheerleaders these past few months. She read this fic in snippets, picking up on themes and character traits, helping me get my point across and threatening me when I almost gave up on it. She's also one of the reasons this fic isn't lying in my never-to-be-finished piles. 
> 
> This is my first ever contribution to a big bang, and while I don't feel as organized as I would have liked to feel, and even though there are things I still need to improve on, I have loved every second of writing this story. Even through the frustrated tears and urge to give up. It's made me fall in love with the trope, and my boys, and its made me more confident about my writing, and opened me up to learning from criticism. 
> 
> TLDR; this is my take on the werewolf trope and I hope you enjoy it <333

**2004**

**December**

Elizabeth dies on a Tuesday, the funeral is on Thursday, and Kurt shifts into his wolf on Friday.

Burt goes into his bedroom to find Kurt curled up on top of the covers, his eyes and tail drooping sadly. For a few seconds, he can’t bring himself to move from the shadows that hide him from Kurt’s line of sight. It doesn’t matter really, because Kurt can probably scent him there, but it gives Burt an excuse to linger there long enough to compose himself.

He knows Elizabeth’s death has hit everyone hard, his pack more so than all the human friends and relatives who have called with their condolences. His pack is the one who knows the full extent of the tragedy. A car crash is unlikely to kill one of the most powerful werewolves any of them knows, the fact that it did, that a piece of corroded metal went straight through Lizzie’s heart, and damaged it beyond her wolf’s ability to heal it, is something none of them expected.

When Burt finally feels strong enough not to break into tears, he steps forward and says, “Hey buddy.”

Kurt lifts his muzzle and sets it on Burt’s legs after he sits down, silent except for the swish of his tail as he shuffles forward to settle more comfortably against him. He’s still so small, a ball of white fluff against the dark black of Burt’s jeans. Burt strokes his fur softly, trying to hold back his tears. His own wolf is restless with grief and Burt knows it would be so easy to shift right now, leave the complication of human thoughts behind and grieve with his body and his heart in his wolf. But he stays human and he talks to his son.

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, kid. With - with your mom gone.” His voice cracks at the end and Burt has to reach up to swipe hastily at his eyes, his other hand scratching the back of Kurt’s ears to keep him calm. Kurt turns his face into his hand, nuzzling Burt’s palm and when Burt looks down at him, his heart shatters at the sadness in the little pup’s eyes. “We’re going to get through it, okay?” he whispers, leaning down to kiss the top of Kurt’s head, “You and I are going to get through this and we’re going to be fine. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise”

~*~

Kurt doesn’t shift back all weekend. He eats the meat Burt gives him for dinner, walks around their backyard in the evenings, still small enough to pass for a pet dog, and spends hours laying next to Elizabeth’s dresser and breathing deeply. Burt knows he’s holding on to the scent of her perfume, doesn’t miss the way Kurt wraps himself in her pillow at night and shudders with sadness, almost like his wolf is trying to cry.

Burt wonders if he should command Kurt to shift back. Kurt’s still too young to defy an order from his Alpha, even if he’s one in the making himself, and its better if he faces the tumultuous human grief sooner rather than later. But Burt can’t pretend to not see the appeal of staying in his wolf for Kurt. He won’t have to cry, he won’t have to talk or reply to questions from concerned pack members who are trying to be helpful and sympathizing but only bringing more pain with the reminder that Lizzie’s gone.

So he lets Kurt stay in his wolf. He gives him a bath, bundling him up in a towel afterwards and snuggling the small animal against his chest like he used to when Kurt was a pup, he continues to feed him meat just how he likes it and he sleeps with Kurt on the bed next to him, curled into a tight ball to keep warm.

One day, after Burt comes downstairs from an afternoon nap, he finds the back door open and Kurt sitting in the backyard with his paws folded and tail swishing lazily as he watches someone else talk. Burt can’t see the boy properly, but he recognizes the voice as the Smythe’s son, Sebastian.

He lives two streets down with his parents, the only three members of the Smythe pack that Burt knows of. Lizzie had been the one to talk to them when they’d first moved here. They’d refused to join the Hummel pack when she’d offered to let them, but had agreed to a peace pact which allowed them to keep their affairs separate and ensured they in turn would not interfere with how the Hummels ran their pack.

The pact didn’t stop Kurt and Sebastian from interfering with each other’s lives, though. Since the day the two boys crossed paths, they’ve been at each other’s throats. Burt’s pretty sure the reason for that is that they’re both born of Alpha blood. Apart from the natural competitive streak in them, and the desire to one up each other in every little thing they do, being territorial also plays a big part. Kurt, who was used to the scent of his fellow pack and the humans that attended his school, hated Sebastian’s unfamiliar scent on his territory.

Burt and Elizabeth were constantly called up along with the Smythes to hear about how their kids were ‘disrupting the classroom environment’ with their animosity for the first few weeks after Sebastian started school. Though Kurt’s not as hostile to Sebastian anymore after four years of knowing each him, they’re still decidedly not friends.

Which is why seeing Sebastian in his backyard is such a surprise. Burt listens intently, straining his ears to pick up on what Sebastian is saying as he moves about the kitchen fixing a sandwich for himself.

“You’re not missing a lot in school,” Sebastian says, picking at strands of grass. “It’s actually kinda boring without you there.” Through the glass of their backyard door, Burt sees Kurt’s tail give a lazy swish in response. Sebastian shrugs, like the comment isn’t something he wants to make a big deal of. “I learned some new tricks, though,” he says. Leaning forward, he brings his hands up in between their bodies and grins, “Wanna see?”

Curiosity tugging his insides, Burt moves to the door separating the kitchen and backyard to get a closer look. If Sebastian or Kurt senses him there, they don’t acknowledge it. Kurt’s eyes are intent on Sebastian’s hands where he’s got them curled into loose fists. A moment later, with both Kurt and Burt’s eyes watching him carefully, he uncurls his fingers to show how the nails have lengthened and sharpened into wolf claws.

Burt’s eyebrows shoot up and remain there as Sebastian lets the claws melt back into human fingernails. It’s very rare for a werewolf as young as Sebastian to have such control over his animal. Slip ups happen on occasion when pulses are running fast and the wolf is desperate to come out - eyes flash golden, nails grow longer and sharper - but to consciously control the wolf like this is not something you see every day.

“I bet you can’t do that.” Sebastian says to Kurt with a smug smile. When Kurt only stares back he adds, “See? I always said I was stronger.”

Kurt swipes at his face with a paw, Sebastian ducking back just in time with a loud laugh. He seems to have pushed a button in Kurt though, because Kurt pounces on him with his whole body, pinning Sebastian to the grass. Burt can’t tell if he’s trying to hurt the boy or play with him.

It doesn’t matter, Burt decides, his throat clogging with emotion as he watches Kurt’s wolf jump up from where Sebastian has shoved him aside and chase after him. Kurt has been so lethargic the past week, this is the first time he’s reacted to anything and the sheer energy with which he runs after Sebastian makes Burt’s eyes wet with tears. 

He leaves the boys in the yard and takes his sandwich into the living room, the faint sounds of Sebastian’s continuous laughter following him.

That evening Kurt comes to dinner shifted back to his human and wearing his favorite white shirt with the red shorts he bought last month with his mom. “Dad?” he says, voice croaky with disuse. “Can I go back to school on Monday?”

Burt has to clench his jaw to keep from crying. “Sure, kid,” he says, letting Kurt crawl into his lap and hug him tight.

~*~

The full moon arrives far too quickly after Elizabeth’s death. Burt still hasn’t shifted yet to let his wolf grieve his mate the way it wants and he’s not quite prepared for the emotions that are going to assault him tonight. He’s the least sure he has ever been as an Alpha, and not at all ready to face the full moon without Elizabeth by his side.

Still, he tries his best to look calm and act in charge as he drives Kurt out of Lima to the patch of thick woods where they spend their moons. The adult wolves aren’t required to join them every month; sometimes they don’t have the energy or the desire to run and let the wolf out the way the younger wolves need to, so the Alphas end up supervising everyone. Tonight Burt is certain every member of his pack will be there, if only to honor Elizabeth’s memory.

Kurt looks sickly pale as they drives eyes drooping sadly. “You okay, buddy?” Burt asks gently.

“Yeah,” Kurt says in a firm voice even though his fingers curl into tight fists on his lap. “I’m okay dad.”

As Burt predicted, his pack is in full attendance. There are sympathetic looks weighing him down that he tries to ignore, but he can feel his strength growing just by being around them; Leroy Berry and his daughter Rachel who immediately runs up to Kurt and hugs him, the Wilsons and their four year old Max, Sarah Phamuk and her five year old daughter Alyssa, and Noah Puckerman.

Puck lingers around Burt with quiet affection in his gaze and Burt spares a few seconds to turn away from the other parents to hug him and ruffle his hair. He knows that he’s more than just an Alpha to Puck. Ever since Puck’s dad left his mother, Burt has been the only father Puck has known.

“How’s your sister?” Burt asks.

“She’s fine,” Puck replies with a short nod.

Abbey Puckerman is four years younger than Puck, and to her brother’s great disappointment, she’s human. Puck has asked Burt and Elizabeth to bite her multiple times, so that he won’t feel so alone at home and every time they’ve turned him down. But now that the absence of Elizabeth and the mental stress of the number _eleven_ instead of twelve is driving Burt mad every time he thinks about his pack, if Puck asks again, he might consider giving Abbey the Bite.

Burt turns away from Puck to seek out his son, knowing his grief is making his mind considers reckless acts it would otherwise never think twice about.  Kurt is surrounded by the adult wolves, smiling bravely as he gets his shoulders squeezed and his body pulled into sympathetic hugs. He looks relieved when Burt moves next to him, wrapping an arm around his shulder and pulling him against his side as he says, “I want everyone shifted, and back here in ten minutes.”

This is the most frustrating part about shifting – having to find cover behind trees and bushes to strip out of their clothes and endure the split second burn of pain as their anatomy shifts from human to wolf.  Kurt folds his clothes neatly, tucking them into his backpack and leaning it against a tree before he crouches low and closes his eyes. Burt waits to shift until Kurt’s settled into his wolf, knowing that there are still chances of something going wrong with the shift, even if Kurt’s been doing it for years.

As soon as Burt shifts into his own wolf, he feels himself stifled by grief. Everything he’s been ignoring since his wife died comes rushing back to him, hitting his wolf stronger now with the moon flowing in his veins. Burt fights it, concentrating on pulling Kurt close and biting at the back of his neck in a gesture of quiet but firm reassurance of _I’m not going anywhere, I’m still here_. He can feel Kurt’s small wolf quivering against his own body so he keeps nipping and rubbing at the back of Kurt’s neck until he’s sure that the pup’s calmed down.

They move back to the clearing where their cars are parked, wolves in varying shades of gray, brown, and black fur emerges from all corners and assembling silently around Burt. Kurt stands out amongst all of them, his fur shining as palely as the moon as he comes to stop a few steps behind Burt. The sudden absence of Elizabeth’s light brown wolf on Burt’s right shakes him to the core, like he’s realizing afresh that his mate is gone, that he is startlingly _alone_ despite his pack surrounding him.

Burt finally gives in to his animal, then, throws his head back and howls until his heart feels lighter and he doesn’t feel like the grief will suffocate him. 

When he finally stops howling and breaks into a run, his pack follows without a beat.

Burt feels his wolf fighting out his human for complete control, fighting to block it out as completely as Burt had blocked out his wolf since his wife and his mate died. Kurt is the only thing that keeps him from losing focus completely and letting his wolf run wild. Burt wants to keep his son close, wants to make sure Kurt’s bloodlust is under control and the moon isn’t as painful for him as it is for Burt. But despite his wishes, Burt can tell Kurt is desperate to get away. He keeps trying to break away from the pack and run on his own only to have one of the adults wolves follow after him.

After a while of observing Kurt’s frustrated attempts to get away, Burt takes pity on him and calls everyone back, letting Kurt disappear into the darkness of the trees. He trusts in Kurt’s training enough to be assured that Kurt isn’t going to leave the woods, or try to seek out human blood.

With that reassurance, Burt turns his focus to running. The moon, the snow, and the wind is all that surrounds him, and it feels _good_ to be letting himself go like this -- until the sharp, threatening scent of a non-pack member rips through the air and fills Burt’s senses. He halts, Alyssa tumbling over Max who bumps into Rachel who topples onto Puck behind him. While the pups snap their jaws and growl at each other, Burt lifts his muzzle up and sniffs and - _yes_. There’s someone else here. Someone who is _not_ supposed to be here.

Signalling for Leroy Berry, his second in command, and Sarah Phamuk who had been Lizzie’s, to look after the others, Burt breaks into a run, following Kurt’s scent threaded with something foreign until he reaches the clearing where the trail ends. The first thing his eyes find is his son. Kurt’s got a bloodied rabbit in his mouth, his eyes the color of molten gold as he growls at another wolf.

Burt doesn’t recognize him at first, a small sandy brown wolf who growls at Kurt with such ferocity it makes Burt want to rip out his throat. Burt growls in warning, the sound making Kurt glance up briefly before he sets his eyes back on his opponent. But the other wolf doesn’t bother looking back to assess the new threat, he tries to chase after Kurt, growling again and swiping with his paws to get the rabbit out of Kurt’s mouth. Enraged, Burt launches himself at the wolf, his scent clicking into place sometime just before both of them hit the hard ground and send up a puff of dirt.

_Smythe._

This is the Smythe boy; the one Kurt’s been seeing so much of since the day Burt first saw him in their backyard. Burt pulls back a little, watching the way the pup is snapping his jaws at him, trying to paw his way out from under him even though Burt is more than twice his size. He’s not scrambling helplessly though, he’s _fighting back_. He’s small and easily vulnerable and probably miles away from his pack and he’s _fighting._ He doesn’t howl to signal others, doesn’t try to admit defeat and run while he can, he just keeps trying to attack any part of Burt he can.

_Born of Alpha blood_ , a distant part of Burt’s human brain thinks, but Burt’s wolf only smells threat - the threat to his pack, to his son that makes him overlook how impressed he feels with Sebastian’s resolve.

It takes another few minutes of fighting for Sebastian to finally sag in submission. Burt steps back, letting the pup get to his feet and shudder once, specks of dust flying everywhere. Kurt’s standing off to the side, contentedly nipping at his game, his fur matted with red and his tongue lapping at the blood from his paws.

Gruffly, Burt goes to him and gestures him to follow, looking at Kurt firmly enough to leave no room for protests. Kurt picks up the half eaten rabbit and complies, but after a few steps forward, he suddenly breaks off and bounds over to Sebastian, dropping the rabbit at his feet, and bumping noses in an oddly friendly gesture compared to the hostility of a moment ago, before he runs back to Burt’s side.

As they both make their way back to their pack, Burt makes a mental human note to talk territory boundaries with the Smythes later.

~*~

“You seemed pretty friendly with Sebastian last night,” Burt says as he makes Kurt breakfast the morning after the moon. It’s still dark out, barely half an hour has passed since dawn, and Kurt is sitting at the kitchen table rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Wuh?” he says, yawning widely. His hair is a few inches longer than it had been before he’d shifted, wet from the shower he’s just taken and neatly combed back. Burt still hasn’t shaved the beard that’s grown on him in the span of a few hours, but aside from the longer hair, Kurt looks as neat as ever, no sign of the grubby human he’d shifted in to earlier.

“Sebastian,” Burt clarifies. “You willingly gave him half your rabbit last night after he tried to steal it from you.”

Kurt frowns, eyebrows creasing with confusion and eyes slightly glazed. “I-I don’t remember.”

Sliding a plate of bacon towards him, Burt sits down next to him and asks, “You don’t remember?” with some surprise. It’s not uncommon for young werewolves to black out on the events of the moon, but Kurt’s a born Alpha - stronger than most normal wolves and far more in control. He’s never blacked out on a single moon since he started shifting at the age of four.

“Is that bad?” Kurt asks. “It’s never happened before but you said it can sometimes.”

“Well ideally, _you_ shouldn’t be blacking out,” Burt says, not keen on lying to his son. “You’re stronger than the rest of the wolves, and you’ve been shifting for longer than the rest of them have. You shouldn’t be forgetting things.”

Kurt looks worried, chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Burt says, his heart crumbling at Kurt’s tone. He reaches out and cups the side of Kurt’s head. “I expected this moon to be hard after...after what happened. But - you really don’t remember _anything_?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Just getting out of the car and shifting.”

“And you don’t remember feeling any pain? Anger? Sadness?”  Again, Kurt shakes his head. His eyes are wide and worried, fingers restless on the table. Burt claps him on the shoulder and smiles. “Stop looking so tense, and eat your breakfast kiddo. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

There probably isn’t. Kurt had retreated into his wolf immediately after his mother’s death, so it made sense that he would give in completely during the moon. Burt decides the only thing to do is to monitor and control how much Kurt shifts during the next couple of weeks, in order to ensure he doesn’t lose his human completely on the moons.

Being in touch with your wolf is a good thing. Losing yourself in him? Not so much.

~*~

Kurt doesn’t shift for a long time. Burt picks him up from school every day and takes him to the garage where Kurt does his homework in the small office and occasionally comes out to poke around cars with him. He’s still learning to control his heightened senses and sometimes the smell of motor oil can be too overwhelming for his wolf’s stronger sense of smell, and Burt has to ask one of his workers to take Kurt home before he gets sick.

Their routine seems normal enough, _Kurt_ seems normal enough. He watches his favorite musicals, has his garden tea parties, creates havoc in the kitchen with attempts to cook and throws occasional tantrums when his wolf is pushing to come through.

He still has no real friends though and that worries Burt. He tries to talk to Kurt, to his teachers at school but they all say Kurt prefers being alone. The only person Kurt interacts with more than absolutely necessary is Sebastian Smythe, and Kurt runs hot and cold with him.

One day Burt catches him cutting two brownie squares from the batch they’d just baked together to put into his lunchbox and when Burt asks him who it’s for, Kurt just says, “Sebastian.” Another day Burt goes to pick Kurt up from school to find all the kids in the playground circled around their fighting figures as teachers rush to break them up.

Their on-and-off again friendship gives rise to little flares of panic in Burt every time he remembers that another young Alpha is growing up so closely alongside Kurt, and the dangers of Kurt getting too attached to him. So when Kurt comes to him one night, asking for permission to go to Sebastian’s house for a sleepover, Burt says, “I don’t think you should.”

“Why?” Kurt asks sharply, his jaw tightened in the spitting image of his mother.

Burt looks at Kurt, still young and growing up so fast. Not many years away from full wolf maturity when he’ll have to deal with the responsibilities and complications of being an Alpha. “There doesn’t have to be a why,” he says. “You’re not going.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Kurt says.

“You mean aside from that nasty fight you got into the other day?”

“The full moon is close!”

Burt almost laughs. “Don’t try to pull that excuse on me.”

“You can’t do this!” Kurt says. “It’s not fair. You have to tell me _why_.”

When Burt remains silent, watching with a heavy heart as tears start to gather in Kurt’s eyes, Kurt pushes his chair back and runs down to his room. Burt buries his face in his hands and takes a few shaky breaths, missing Elizabeth more than ever, and how she would have known how to explain the situation to Kurt sensibly.

Burt drags his feet down the stairs to Kurt’s bedroom, dreading the sight of his son crying and knowing he caused it. But when he emerges at the foot of the stairs, he finds a ball curled up underneath Kurt’s comforter. A decidedly not-human-shaped ball.

“Nice trick,” Burt says. “I know you don’t want to talk to m-hey!” he shouts when Kurt snaps his jaw at Burt as he tries to sit down. “Hear me out, buddy. I need you to listen and you know what? I think its best that you’re in your wolf when you do.”

Kurt settles down, his expression steely and his paws folded over his pillow. Burt closes his eyes and summons the image of Lizzie’s encouraging smile in his head before he starts.

“I know you’re young right now, but I also know you’re smart enough to know you won’t be forever. So I need you to understand what I’m going to say no matter how much you might hate me right now.” Kurt looks at Burt then, patient but still guarded. “ _Sebastian is not part of your pack_. He hasn’t sworn an oath, he hasn’t sworn loyalty or love and he’s not going to respect or follow your commands if he doesn’t want to. He’s strong, Kurt. You know that. And I know that you’re strong too but kid - you got heart. And you like to believe the best in everybody but this Sebastian kid - he’s. He’s power hungry. And once you two take in your positions as Alphas, he’s going to be a threat to you, and to your pack.”

“I can’t explain how many friendships your mother and I have had to break over the years when families that were friends of ours tried to challenge us. And they were all Betas. Sebastian is _born_ an Alpha. He’s going to be stronger and faster and more deadly than all of them were, and you can bet he won’t leave town like they did if things don’t work out in their favor. You can be friendly with him, but you gotta - you gotta see him differently. You can’t risk trusting someone like him, and showing him all your weaknesses. Not when your pack is at stake.”

Kurt snuffles further beneath his blankets and there’s the cracking sound of his bones rearranging his wolf form to his human as he shifts. Burt pulls the blanket down just past Kurt’s neck, tucking it beneath his bare shoulders. Kurt’s face is sad, but there’s a maturity to his expression that makes Burt’s heart long for the careless laughter of when he was younger.

“You okay?” Burt asks, patting Kurt’s hair.

Kurt sniffs wetly and buries his face in his pillow. “He’s my only friend.”

“You have a whole pack who loves you, Kurt.” Burt says gently. “You just gotta give them a chance. I know you don’t like hanging out with them since your mom died but they’re the ones who’re gonna be with you for the rest of your life. They are the people who’ll make you stronger.”

Kurt is silent for a few seconds and then he says, “I want to sleep.”

“You haven’t had dinner yet.”

“I want to sleep,” he repeats stubbornly.

Burt stares at him helplessly and says, “Okay.” Before he leaves, he leans down and kisses the top of Kurt’s head but he’s just shut the door behind him when his nose flares and he scents Kurt going back from human to wolf.

~*~

The next couple of months consist of Kurt tentatively reaching out to other pack members his age. Burt can tell he’s guarded around them, not laughing along with Puck when he makes fun of Kurt wanting to have a garden tea party, and definitely not as excited as the Berry’s little girl is about hanging out with a boy who is going to be Alpha one day.

He’s not talking to Sebastian anymore, that Burt is certain of because Kurt had told him quietly that Sebastian was mad at him after Kurt ignored him for a week. Burt appreciates how maturely Kurt’s taking the whole thing. He knows it must be hard to stomach the harsher aspects of pack dynamics when he’s still so young, but Kurt takes his responsibility in stride, even though Burt catches him looking sadly at Sebastian as they drive home one day

Though he’s talking and spending time with Rachel and Puck, Kurt doesn’t seem to be very happy with his new friends. Especially when he approaches Burt one night after Leroy Berry drops him home after an evening with Rachel and he says, “Dad can I talk to you?”

“Sure.” Burt pats a seat on the couch next to him and puts the TV on mute. “What’s this about?”

“Um,” Kurt sits down, turns to Burt and folds his hands neatly in his lap. “Rachel said today that when we’re older - she’s going to be my mate.”

Burt raises his eyebrows. “You kids already talking about that stuff?” Jeez, Kurt is _eleven_. Burt had been expecting another four years before he had to talk to him about mates.

“Today’s the first time she brought it up,” Kurt says. “She said that the Alpha male chooses an Alpha female and they rule the pack together. And since Leroy was an Alpha before he left his birth pack for her human daddy, she’s half-Alpha born herself. ”

“Is that all she said?”

Kurt nods. “But is it true? Am I going to have to choose a female Alpha to run the pack with me?”

Burt senses this question has a much deeper meaning than what’s on the surface, and he knows he has to tread carefully. “You’re going to have to choose a mate to run the pack with you and support you, but whether or not you choose a female is up to you.”

“You mean I can - I can choose a boy?”

“As long as he’s someone you trust, someone who brings out the best in you and makes you stronger. Hell, maybe he - or she - is going to choose you. Like your mom chose me.”

“But it’s not weird? To have a boy as my mate?”

“Well your aunt had one of the strongest packs in Boston and her mate was a woman. That stuff doesn’t matter,” Burt says gently. “When you’ve got two people who understand each other and their pack, and they’re willing to work at it together, then it _doesn’t matter_.”

“What about - kids and stuff?”

Burt has to give him credit, Kurt is very dedicated to his future position as Alpha. “As long as one of the Alpha pair is biologically involved, the baby is considered next in line as Alpha.” Kurt nods silently, his expression distant and thoughtful. “Kurt, look buddy if this was important right now, I’d talk to you as much as you wanted,” Burt says with a sigh, “but your wolf isn’t even going to be thinking about a mate for another good chunk of years. For now, you gotta focus on training your skills, sharpening your senses, and building respect among your pack. Don’t worry about mates and children and all that complicated stuff that you’re gonna have plenty of time to worry about later, okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt says with a small smile.

Burt turns the volume back up for the TV, and both of them watch the game in silence for a few minutes, Kurt lazily kicking his legs out in front of him. When the commercial break cuts in, Burt mutes the TV again and asks, “How’re you feeling about the moon tomorrow?”

“Pretty good,” Kurt replies. “I don’t feel like it’s the moon at all. I feel normal.”

Burt’s decided to train Kurt on how to keep his wolf under check on the moon without shifting this month. It’s the sort of control that Kurt is now old enough to learn, but Burt had sensed the hesitation and nervousness in Kurt when he had first told him of his plans.

“Well tomorrow, you’re going to feel the moon, I can bet you that.” says Burt. “And it’s gonna be hard so you better be prepared.”

“I am,” Kurt says confidently, fingers curling into small determined fists.

~*~

Burt remembers the first time he had tried staying human through the full moon, and how painful it had been with his wolf trying to rip its way out of him. Kurt, however, remains the picture of normal for the most part. It’s not until the moonrise is at its peak that his wolf finally seems to get restless.

“You okay there?” Burt asks, as Kurt starts to rub at his forehead and his breathing becomes heavier.

“I feel kind of dizzy,” Kurt admits

“You’re doing real great, you know.”

Kurt smiles proudly, but his eyes are bleeding into gold as his wolf tries to push out. “No, Kurt,” Burt says with a mix of firmness and reassurance. “You can’t slip up, buddy.”

“I feel like -” Kurt pulls away from Burt and takes a few deep breaths. “I feel like I want to kill something.”

“That would be your bloodlust.” Burt says. “It’s harder to control when you don’t have a safe outlet for it. But you gotta learn, how to keep it under check for the times you’re not going to get a chance to shift on the moon. Hang in there.”

Kurt presses his hands to his sides like he’s trying to physically contain his wolf to the confines of his body. “Dad,” his voice cracks with strain. “It - ugh, it _hurts_.”

“You’re not going to shift as long as I’m here,” Burt reassures him. “I can promise you that. But you have to fight, Kurt.”

Kurt presses his lips together, his eyes still desperately flashing gold as his wolf struggles. “I need fresh air,” he says, starting towards the back door. Burt follows him, watching the painful way Kurt straightens his spine and slides the door open to move into their backyard. A few minutes in the gentle breeze seems to steady him, he paces the small square patch of grass as he forces himself to calm down.

He spends the rest of the night outside, returning back to the house shortly before moonset and falling into an exhausted sleep before breakfast. Burt finds him curled up on the floor of his bedroom, not a strip of clothing on his back, and his legs held tightly to his chest. Given how strongly he handled the temptation to shift all night, Burt can excuse of him for wanting to give his wolf some comfort. The relief of not having to suffocate his skin with clothes, and sleep close to the earth where the smell is more comforting is little reward to the wolf for not being allowed to run on the moon.

Burt shuts the door of Kurt’s bedroom silently behind him, close to bursting with love and pride for his boy.

~*~

Monday after the moon, Kurt catches sight of Sebastian across the cafeteria and is struck by the strong urge to go and brag to him about his ability to control his wolf on the moon. He’s halfway to him when he remembers they’re not supposed to be talking. It’s too late to turn back though, because Sebastian has seen him, and is waiting with a cool expression for Kurt to finally approach his table.

Keeping his chin jutted out, Kurt strides over to him. “Hey,” he says. Sebastian remains silent. Kurt smiles nervously and continues; “I learned a new trick. A _wolf_ trick.”

Despite trying his hardest, Sebastian can’t keep the curiosity out of his expression. “Really?”

There’s a hint of a challenge and disbelief to his tone. Kurt nods proudly and declares, “I didn’t shift all night on Friday.”

Sebastian blinks. Kurt waits for the words to sink in, for some sort of reaction, a hint of jealously or a sign that Sebastian is at all impressed. There’s nothing. Nothing except; “You think that’s a _trick_?”

His sneer is more hurtful than anything. Kurt frowns, the grin slipping off his face. “It’s really rare for someone at my age to be strong enough to hold the wolf back.”

“It’s rare because it’s so _stupid_ ,” Sebastian snaps. “Your wolf is _supposed_ to be let out on the moon; it’s not cool - keeping it stuffed inside like that. It deserves a night to be free.” Kurt feels like he’s made Sebastian mad for some reason. But he can’t understand why. Over Sebastian’s shoulder, he sees Rachel and Puck looking at him with curiosity. Sebastian follows Kurt’s gaze, sees Rachel and Puck, and turns back to him scowling. “Go,” he grumbles. “Your _pack’s_ waiting for you.”

Kurt wants to ask him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t say anything. He moves silently towards his other friends and leaves Sebastian poking at his slimy grilled cheese sandwich on his own.

He feels really bad for the rest of the week, watching Sebastian sit alone eating bad cafeteria food every day. He still feels hurt that Sebastian was so mean to him about not shifting on the moon, but it’s hard to stay angry at him when Sebastian looks so _lonely_.

Kurt brings a box of brownies to school for lunch on Thursday. There are six pieces - Rachel takes one, Kurt takes one, and Puck takes three. When he reaches for the sixth piece, Kurt pulls it away, shaking his head.

“Who’s that for, then?” Puck asks, little chocolate crumbs sticking to his mouth.

Kurt looks over at the back of Sebastian’s head, only to find that it’s turned slightly to the right and Sebastian is trying to peek over his shoulder. Kurt wonders if he’s eavesdropping on their conversation or if he can smell the brownie or if he’s just trying to find Kurt in the cafeteria.

“No way!” Puck exclaims, following Kurt’s gaze to Sebastian.

“It’s my brownie. I can give it to whoever I want,” Kurt says defensively. Rachel presses her lips together and continues to nibble on her carrots while Puck crosses his arms over his chest and grumbles. “I’ll make you more,” Kurt promises, smiling when Puck looks at him hopefully. “Or maybe you can come over to my house and we can make some together.”

“Can I come too?!” Rachel asks, sitting up straighter. “I’ll even bring the recipe my dads and I use to bake cookies!”

Kurt’s just started planning a day and a time for them to come over when the sounds seems to get sucked out of the room. Kurt blinks, panicking. No, he realizes - the sound is not completely gone. It’s still there - a hum like someone’s lowered the volume to the background of a steadily increasing _thump thump thump_. Kurt looks around the cafeteria for the source only to find Sebastian pushing his chair back and standing up with his lunch tray.

He dumps the contents in the dustbin, along with the tray, getting a few shouts from the lunch ladies and the kids nearby as he storms out. Kurt rushes to follow him, grabbing the container with the last brownie as he does.

It’s not hard to find Sebastian. Kurt just has to add in a little effort to use his wolf’s sense of smell, and then he’s picking his way through Sebastian’s trail out to the back of the school building hoping no one follows. Sebastian’s sitting on the ground, back leaning against the brick wall, and his legs stretched out in front of him.

“Hi,” Kurt says with some hesitance.

“Go away.”

“I brought you something.”

Kurt sits down next to Sebastian, and hands him the brownie. Sebastian looks at it for a long time, like he can’t believe Kurt is giving it to him until he finally looks up. “Why?” he asks.

Kurt shrugs. “I know you like them.”

“I thought they were for your stupid pack friends.”

“They’re not stupid,” Kurt say immediately, firmly. And then he adds; “Maybe if you were nice to them, they could be your friends too.”

“They’re not my pack.”

“That doesn’t mean they can’t be your friends.”

Sebastian looks at Kurt with sad eyes, “ _You_ stopped being my friend because I wasn’t your pack.”

The simple truth of his words hits Kurt so hard, he doesn’t know how to reply. He hates how the sentence sounds to his ears, how _mean_. “I’m sorry,” he says, ducking his head down because he can’t keep looking at Sebastian. “But I think you need to be a little sorry too because you were really rude to me when I told you I didn’t shift on the moon.”

“That’s because.” Sebastian stops, staring at his brownie. “It’s - ” he stops again, and Kurt can hear his heart hammering in his chest.

“What?” he presses, frowning.

“Myparentsdontletmeshiftonthemoonanymore,” he blurts.

Kurt blinks, taking a few seconds to run the jumble of words over in his head until they click into place. “They don’t let you shift? _Ever_?” With anger bursting inside of him as Sebastian shakes his head in affirmation, Kurt shouts, “they can’t do that!” 

“I still shift,” Sebastian says quickly. “The wolf gets too difficult to control if I don’t. I just do it when they’re asleep and won’t notice, but it’s really, _really_ painful without my Alphas.”

“But - why won’t they let you?”

“Because they’ve stopped shifting too,” Sebastian replies. “They don’t want to be werewolves anymore. They say it’s a curse and it’s better if I learn to shut out the animal completely so I can live a normal life.”

“It’s _not_ a curse,” Kurt says furiously.

“I don’t think it is. But they do.”

Kurt’s pulse speeds up, anger twisting and turning inside of him, waking up his wolf and making blood rush and pound in his ears. He waits for it to pass, until he’s calmed down to talk again. “When did they start thinking like that?” he asks. “I remember your mom being really nice about letting us shift in the house when I used to come over.”

Sebastian shrugs. “They’d stopped going to the woods on the moon since your dad told us it was your territory, so we’d shift in our basement. You’ve seen it right? It’s not too big, but it was okay. Until one moon they just refused to shift completely and told me I shouldn’t either.”

With a sickening realization, Kurt understands why Sebastian had gotten so mad in the cafeteria on Monday. He’s been spending months not being allowed to shift and going through the pain of doing it alone; if the situation had been reversed , if Kurt had been going through what Sebastian is, and he’d had Sebastian come up to him and brag like not shifting on the moon was something really cool, then he’d be mad too.

“I’m sorry” Kurt whispers, drawing his knees up to his chest and connecting the freckles on Sebastian’s face with his eyes. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“Because you stopped talking to me without giving me a reason, or because my parents aren’t letting me be myself?”

“Both. No one should have to go through that, and – and I should have been a better friend.” Kurt leans his knees to the side until they’re pressing against Sebastian’s. “I promise I’m going to be your friend from now on.”

“Even if I’m not your pack?”

“Even then.”

Sebastian looks at him, a small smile stretching his lips. It feels like he wants to say something, but the words hang between them unsaid, unnecessary. The bell rings above them, shrill and sudden, marking the end of lunch. Kurt knows Puck and Rachel will be trying to find him soon, but he doesn’t want them to just yet.

“Hey, Sebastian?” he says, as Sebastian finally takes a bite of his brownie.

“Hmm?”

“Do you want me to talk to my dad for you? He could try speaking to your parents, and maybe they’d let you shift again?”

Sebastian shakes his head.

“Are you sure?”

“This is my business, Kurt. I don’t want your dad getting involved with my pack.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, a little disappointed. He watches Sebastian finish off his brownie, licking his fingers and smacking his lips with a grin on his face. Kurt’s stomach swoops a little in a funny way that is very unfamiliar but not entirely bad. It makes him lean over the small space between them and wrap his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders.

It’s awkward with the way they’re sitting but it feels really nice, pressing cheek to Sebastian’s shoulder and closing his eyes for a few seconds. Sebastian smells good, kind of like how the dresser in Kurt’s parents’ room smells – familiar and _right_. There’s a dull _thud_ as Sebastian drops the empty brownie container to the ground and stretches his arms to circle Kurt’s body, turning his face into Kurt’s neck and pressing the edges of his smile into his skin. They stay like that for as long as they can, until the approaching sounds of footsteps and the shouts of other students make them break apart with pink cheeks and giddy heartbeats.

~*~

Burt knows the second Kurt gets into the car.

Sebastian’s scent is all over him, caking his clothes and sticking to his skin. Kurt doesn’t seem worried about it, though. On the contrary, he looks happy, hair windblown from how he’d run across the lot to Burt and his eyes bright as he waves goodbye to Hiram Berry and Rachel.

“How was school?” Burt asks.

“Really good!” and just like that, Kurt launches into a story of art class, lunch and how delicious their brownies turned out, and how he’s invited Rachel and Puck to bake some more with him over the weekend. “Can we, dad?”

“Sure, kiddo.” Burt says. “It’s great that you guys are getting along so well.”

The scent of a wolf not of his own pack is still making his head heavy, but he tries to ignore it because the smile on Kurt’s face is too blinding for anything else to matter.

As much as he wants to though, Burt can’t ignore Sebastian Smythe for long. It’s not even the fact that Kurt comes home from school every day for the rest of the week with Sebastian’s scent lingering on him like a second skin, or the fact that he refuses to say anything about their rekindled friendship.

In the end, what finally brings the topic of Sebastian up is – Sebastian himself.

Saturday afternoon, Burt is in the living room keeping an occasional check on the three younger werewolves in his kitchen currently trying to bake themselves cookies and brownies, when he hears a small gasp followed by Puck’s voice saying, “Is that -”

“Sssh!” Kurt hisses, and the second he does Burt notices the jump in his pulse, the scent of fear and excitement settling over him.

Burt stands up, intending to make his entrance in the kitchen casual but he’s taken two steps forward when the kitchen door slides open and the scent that has been keeping Burt on edge all week fills his senses.

It would have been easier to accept had Sebastian been in his human body, but as it happens, he pads into the kitchen through the back door as his wolf. Rachel immediately starts talking about how dangerous it is and _what if someone had seen you?!_ Puck comments on how much Sebastian stinks while Kurt crouches down and scratches the back of Sebastian’s ear and whispers to him.

Burt misses a bit of the sentence because he’s too busy trying to calm his wolf and let the smell of threat fade, but he still catches the end – a fond _you’re a complete idiot_.

Once he’s in the kitchen, Burt clears his throat, ignores the scared-guilty-apologetic expression on his son’s face and fixes his gaze on Sebastian. The first thing that comes to his mind is the thought that Sebastian is still a relatively small wolf, which means that it wouldn’t have been _too_ suspicious if he’d been running around the neighbourhood. Unlike with Kurt, his shaggy brown coat doesn’t make him stand out as much as the pure white of Kurt’s fur does.

The second thought is – “What is going on here?”

“Dad, I can explain.” Kurt stands up, stepping in front of Sebastian like he’s trying to hide him from Burt’s glare, but Sebastian is still as tough as Burt remembers, peering out from behind Kurt’s legs and glaring right back at him.

Burt looks from the wolf to his son, to the faces of Puck and Rachel which demand answers just as impatiently as Burt does. “Well, you better start explaining soon.” 

~*~

_It wasn’t lying,_ Kurt tries to reason with himself.

He hadn’t lied. He’d told Burt that Sebastian wanted to bake with them but had been too shy to ask (he’d ignored the sharp nip of Sebastian’s teeth on his calf, pretty sure that it had been Sebastian’s grumpy way of assuring him he hadn’t been _shy_ ), and said Sebastian would shift to his human immediately, if his dad would allow him to stay.

He had. His dad had looked hesitant for a few seconds but eventually, he’d nodded and said that Sebastian could ‘just use the front door like the rest of your friends next time.’

Kurt had breathed a sigh of relief, but sitting in his bedroom right now and staring at the muddy paw print on his carpet where Sebastian had waited for Kurt to find him something to wear earlier, Kurt feels a little guilty for not telling the whole truth.

_It’s not your business_ , he reminds himself. Sebastian’s told him he likes to run around the neighbourhood whenever he gets the chance, feeding his mom the lie that he’s actually riding his bike while he’s gone.

“It’s the only time I can run somewhere other than my room,” he’d explained. “I’m careful, I swear! I go out before any of the other kids have, and I make sure no one sees me.”

“And if they do?”

“I run away.”

It’s not ideal, and it makes a tight ball of worry settle in Kurt’s stomach but then he thinks of how his wolf would get if he stopped being allowed to shift whenever he needed to. So he keeps quiet.

But he wants to tell his dad _so badly_. If only Sebastian would agree to it, Kurt is _sure_ that his dad would find a way to fix things.

He’s still lost in his thoughts, playing with the knot of his sleep robe when there’s a tap at his window. Kurt jerks, looking up at the windows where he can just about make out the muzzle of a familiar looking wolf.

“Sebastian,” Kurt hisses, sliding off his bed and moving to stand under his window. “What are you _doing_ here?”

It’s not like he expects a reply with Sebastian in his animal, but the gentle nudge of Sebastian’s nose against the glass makes it clear what he wants. “It’s unlocked,” Kurt says quietly, eyes darting to the stairs as Sebastian starts to slide the window open with his paw. His dad had gone up to bed hours ago, but Kurt can’t be sure. He tries to strain his ears for a heartbeat, tries to pick up on the steady sounds of breathing that would tell him if Burt is asleep or awake, but all he can concentrate on is the excited patter of Sebastian’s heartbeat as he manages to slide the window open the rest of the way, shuffling forward to fit his head in the limited space until the window is wide enough to take his small body.

He leaps to the floor, landing with grace (and _more_ muddy paw prints) on Kurt’s floor. “You’re getting my room dirty!” Kurt says, wincing as Sebastian shakes off some of the dirt from his fur and a few flecks catch the skin of his neck and cheek. “ _Ew_ , Sebastian!”

Sebastian moves towards him, pressing his face to Kurt’s leg and rubbing his muzzle against him. Kurt can’t help the bubble of happiness that bursts inside of him, and he sits down right there in the middle of his room with muddy paw prints surrounding him and a wolf that smells sharp and fresh, like the night air he’s just ran through. 

“Did you sneak out?” Kurt asks, fingers threading through fur.

Sebastian gives him a look that screams _duh_.

“That is so dangerous, Sebastian!”

Sebastian growls, it sounds more like a whine. Like he’s saying _please stop ruining the fun_. Kurt stops, then. He tries to ignore the voices in his head telling him Sebastian is _way_ too young to be sneaking out in the middle of the night (okay, it’s only ten thirty but _still_ ), running around the streets on his own, and buries his face in Sebastian’s body.

Sebastian curls further into Kurt, almost crawling into his lap and nuzzling his face against his chest. His fur is so _soft_ , no longer holding any traces of dirt, but just clean and soft, and fluttering gently when Kurt breathes out against it.

He feels sleepy. Happy and sleepy, and oddly _safe_ with Sebastian in his arms; or maybe he’s just happy that _Sebastian_ is safe in his arms instead of running around dark streets.

“You can’t do this again,” Kurt says, his tongue a little heavy with how sleepy he feels. “Okay? This is the first and last time. I don’t want us to get caught.”

Sebastian whines again, slapping Kurt’s side with a paw, but he sags against Kurt a second later, a wet tongue pressing at Kurt’s wrist when he moves his hand to scratch at Sebastian’s ear.

Despite Kurt’s warning, Sebastian shows up at his window the next night. And the night after that, and the night after that. He leaves paw prints Kurt has to wipe later, and his scent lingering heavily in the room that Kurt tries to cover with large amounts of air freshener. Even though he’s _terrified_ his dad will find out one of these nights, even though he scrubs himself extra hard in the shower to make sure there’s no trace of Sebastian on his skin in the mornings, and even though he keeps telling Sebastian to stop sneaking out, Kurt looks forward to the tap-tap of Sebastian’s nose on his window every night.

They don’t do much. Sebastian never shifts to his human, and Kurt never shifts to his wolf, so they can’t talk, but they play. Kurt likes making Sebastian chase a baseball around his room, holding in his laughter when Sebastian realizes Kurt’s treating him like a dog, and drops the ball to the floor with a grumpy growl.

Sometimes, Kurt will sneak in some food to his bedroom and have a late night snack party with Sebastian, feeding him scraps and watching the way Sebastian’s tongue rolls out to lick at crumbs from his mouth when he finishes eating.

Kurt is really good friends with Rachel and Puck now, and during pack training, he gets along with Alyssa and Max well enough too. But there’s something about spending time with Sebastian, in school or like this in his bedroom that feels so _good_ \- like they’re friends not because they’re pack and _have_ to be, but because they _want_ to be.

He keeps his ears perked for any sounds of his dad upstairs, tries to stay as quiet as he can even when Sebastian does something unpredictable like jump on his lap and lick across his cheek that makes him want to squeal loudly.

He’s always _so_ careful, but that night, he’s not as careful as he should be.

It’s Friday which means that Sebastian won’t have to leave as soon as he usually does because they don’t have school in the morning; a perfect excuse to stay up late and sleep in late. They’re playing with Kurt’s baseball again; Sebastian resigned to his dog like enthusiasm when it comes to chasing after the ball as it rolls across the floor. When Kurt tries to mix things up and throws the ball a little higher, he makes the mistake of not aiming well (it’s never been his strongest point) and the ball smashes against a framed photograph of his parents, sending it crashing to the floor and the glass shattering into thousands of tiny pieces.

“Oops,” Kurt breathes, his heart thudding sickly when he hears footsteps above them. Ignoring the glass and the way some it scratches and cuts his feet when he walks over it, Kurt motions to Sebastian, gesturing wildly to his bed. _Come on,_ he mouths, _get under there! Hurry!_

To Sebastian’s credit, he looks a little scared too, flattening himself as he skids under Kurt’s bed just as the door to the basement opens. “Kurt?” his dad’s voice calls out. Kurt jumps on to his bed, keeping his feet draped over the edge to hide any peeking set of eyes from beneath it. His dad emerges at the foot of the stairs, blinking sleepily. “I heard something break,” he says, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” Kurt says in a breathless voice, heart beating manically in his chest. “I was practicing my aim with the baseball you got me and um. Sorry!”

Burt notices the mess on the floor, and then the bloody trail leading to Kurt’s bed and worry eclipses sleep on his face. “You okay?”

“What?” Kurt follows his dad’s gaze to his feet and notices the blood splattered on to them. “Yeah! I’m fine. Werewolf, remember? It’s already healed and – I’m fine dad!” he shouts the last part, halting Burt in his steps. Kurt really doesn’t want him coming any closer, hopes wildly that the smell of blood is strong enough to cover up Sebastian’s scent.

But Kurt can tell that it’s not going to work. Burt’s eyes find the paw print pressed to the edge of the floor near Kurt’s rug, and the last of the sleep melts from his face, everything about his expression more alert. When his eyes find Kurt, Kurt _knows_ his dad can smell the fear on him now, can hear his heart beating, can tell that his isn’t the _only_ heart in the room.

“Where is he?” Burt asks, his voice calm but firm.

“Who?” Kurt tries to feign innocence.

“Kurt.” His dad’s gaze is unforgiving, and _terrifying_. Kurt’s never been so terrified in his eleven years. He knows it’s more the Alpha in Burt that is angry, rather than the parent. He has permission to invite Sebastian over during the afternoon, he does _not_ have permission to grant access to their territory this late at night without his Alpha knowing. “Where is he?” his dad repeats again.

“U-under the bed?”

Burt sighs, stepping closer and tilting his head to the side. “Sebastian,” he calls. “Come on, kiddo there’s no point hiding anymore.”

He sounds kinder now, not as scary. Sebastian emerges slowly, pressing himself to Kurt’s legs once he’s standing again. There’s a tense pause, Burt’s gaze flickering between the two of them, heavy with disappointment and disapproval until –

Sebastian sneezes. His wolf’s body shudders with the movement, fur tickling Kurt’s legs through his pajama pants as he does. He almost giggles, but he catches his dad’s expression, still not amused and stops himself.

“Dad,” he starts.

“Let me guess – you can explain?”

Kurt presses his lips together, toes grazing Sebastian’s side, and nods.

“I’m sure you can,” his dad says. “But I think I’d like to hear what Sebastian here has to say for himself.”

“But he can’t talk like this.”

“He can shift.”

“But he doesn’t have any clothes!” Kurt tries desperately.

Burt looks almost amused. “Well I’m sure he can borrow some for the night.” He turns and starts back towards the stairs. “When he’s finished changing, I expect to see him – and _only_ him – in the living room.”

“But -”

“That’s final, Kurt.”

Kurt slumps in defeat. “Okay,” he mumbles.

Burt’s climbed five stairs before he turns back and looks at Kurt again. “No listening in. Understood?”

He’d been hoping his dad would let that order slip from his mind. Kurt’s shoulders droop further. “Understood.”

Sebastian and his dad talk for a _long_ time. Kurt paces his bedroom, focusing his energy on notlistening in on them. It would be so easy to let himself relax, and let in a few broken sentences here and there, but he’s been told not to use his abilities and he respects his dad’s wish.

But it doesn’t stop him from wondering what they’re talking about.

Close to forty five minutes later, there are two pairs of footsteps; one thudding down the stairs with eagerness, the other slower as they follow behind. Sebastian emerges first, his face stretched with a grin. Kurt feels relief thinking that whatever had happened, it must be good because there is nothing but happiness on Sebastian’s face.

“Everything...okay?” Kurt asks, lifting his eyes to his dad when he comes down.

“Not until Sebastian goes back to his house, it won’t be,” Burt says. “But other than that, everything’s okay.” Kurt waits for more. But all he gets is; “It’s time to say goodnight, Sebastian.”

Sebastian looks at Kurt, still grinning and parrots, “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

“Very funny.” But Kurt is relieved to see his dad is smiling. “I’ll give you five minutes and then I’ll be expecting you in the car so I can drive you home.”

“Thanks, Mr. Hummel!” Sebastian says, genuine gratitude in his voice. He waits until Burt’s gone up to say anything else. “Your dad is _awesome_!” he bursts out as soon as the door clicks shut behind Burt.

Kurt can’t help grinning a little. “I know,” he says, “but what _happened_ up there? I was going crazy!”

“That’s not important, you know what is though? _I can shift with you guys now_!”

“You mean my dad knows your parents won’t let you shift anymore?”

Sebastian nods furiously, stepping closer with a bounce in his step. “I don’t think I can shift like, _with_ you since I’m still not your pack, but I’m allowed on your territory. I won’t have to use my basement anymore!”

“So he’s going to talk to your parents?”

Sebastian waves him off, “ _Kurt_. I can run on the moon again!”

Burt’s voice drifts down the stairs, calling Sebastian back up. Kurt still has questions that from the look of things, Sebastian won’t answer. “I have to go,” he says, looking over his shoulder at the stairs before turning back to him. “But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

He runs forward, crushing Kurt’s chest with a hug and pressing his nose to the crook of his neck. Kurt barely gets in a _goodnight_ before Sebastian is flying up the stairs two at a time and out the door.

~*~

The details of Burt and Sebastian’s talk aren’t given to him. Burt refuses to tell him, Sebastian refuses to tell him. Kurt spends Saturday grumpy and offended until Sebastian throws the baseball that started the whole thing in his face and almost dislocates Kurt’s jaw.

“ _Ouch_!” Kurt yells, holding his face as pain gushes up from the impact.

“You’ll heal,” Sebastian says with a roll of his eyes.

“Not before I _kill_ you!”

Burt finds them wrestling like they’re seven again. “That’s it,” he says, grabbing them by the neck of their shirts and pulling them up. “Up and out, you’re going to be staying somewhere I can see you now.”

From Kurt’s bedroom, they move to the kitchen where it gets hard to stay mad at Sebastian as he watches Kurt bake with awe. Puck comes over a while later, claiming he could smell the cake baking from miles away, but he leaves almost immediately without tasting any when he sees Sebastian sitting on the kitchen stool.

“They don’t like me,” Sebastian says when Kurt comes back from a failed attempt to convince Puck to stay.

It would be pointless to say _no, that’s not true_ because it is; Rachel and Puck still don’t like Sebastian, and they don’t like that _Kurt_ likes Sebastian. The only thing Kurt can say right now that is one hundred percent true is, “I don’t care.”

If his dad can be convinced to let him stay friends with Sebastian, if _he_ thinks Kurt is smart enough to manage a friendship with another pack member, then Puck and Rachel can learn to accept him too.    

Sebastian grins. “I don’t either.”

~*~

It’s a slow process, but Rachel and Puck learn to like Sebastian. Or not hate him at least. They don’t like Sebastian sitting with them during lunch, they don’t like Sebastian coming over to Kurt’s house when they are there, but they stop complaining about the times he _does_ come over and don’t try to make Kurt stay with them on the days he spends recess with Sebastian.

On the moons, Burt picks up Sebastian from his house and drives him to the woods, letting him disappear into the trees while he turns to his own pack. Kurt always stares after him, a tiny part of him wanting to follow, and feeling sad that Sebastian still has to spend the moon alone.

Sometimes, he breaks away from his pack in the middle of the moonrise to follow. They’ll be running together, Kurt at Burt’s heels, but he’ll veer off track and run in the opposite direction. By now everyone knows not to follow him when he does or to question him when he returns.

Kurt seeks Sebastian out by his scent alone, chasing him through the trees and catching up easily because he’s _way_ faster than any other wolf, and no matter how hard Sebastian tries to run, Kurt always beats him.

Often, Sebastian will kill a stray animal and bring it back to Kurt, looking pleased with himself as he drops it at Kurt’s feet. It makes something akin to love bloom in Kurt’s chest when he does that, when he nuzzles Kurt’s face and bumps their noses, ripping a bloodied piece of meat and offering it to Kurt like a prize.

They’re friends, _best friends_ Kurt likes to think but never says because Puck and Rachel get _really_ possessive of him when he does. Still, he tells Sebastian that when they’re lying on Kurt’s bed, listening to songs on his walkman with one pair of headphones.

“You’re my best friend.”

“No I’m not,” Sebastian says, toes wiggling to the beat. “Your stupid pack friends are your best friends.”

“They’re not stupid.” It’s second nature now, this part of their conversation. It comes up every once in a while. “And I mean it. You’re my best friend.”

Sebastian turns on his side, headphones sliding down to the bed. “Yeah?”

Kurt smiles, suddenly shy. “Yeah.”

There’s the muffled sound of the song still playing through the headphones, and the quickening of Sebastian’s pulse, the quirk of his lips pulling up in a smile.

“Well,” he says, dropping his eyes to the headphones and fumbling as he picks them back up. “You’re my best friend too.” 

**2011**

**November**

“Have you ever knotted?”

Kurt drops his pencil. “Excuse me?” he says as calmly as he can. Picking his pencil back up, he lifts his eyes to Sebastian who is sprawled out on Kurt’s bed like he belongs there throwing a ball back and forth between his hands. He’s still in his Dalton uniform, his blazer draped over the back of Kurt’s desk chair, and his tie loose around his neck. Kurt should be used to seeing him in it considering Sebastian’s been going to Dalton for the past three years, but it still throws him off sometimes.

“Knotted,” Sebastian repeats. “You know - during sex.”

Kurt blinks at him, trying to figure out if Sebastian is being purposefully crude or just being _Sebastian_. “No,” he says eventually. “You only knot when you’re with your mate and as I’m sure you’re aware – I don’t have one yet.”

Sebastian rolls over onto his stomach, throwing the ball aside and flipping Kurt’s book shut so he can draw Kurt’s eyes to his face. “Do you ever think about your mate?”

The honest answer is _yes, a lot_. But Kurt doesn’t want to keep having this conversation. It had been awkward and embarrassing enough listening to his dad explain the more...unique aspect of sex when he’d sat Kurt down for ‘the talk’ at the age of fifteen. He doesn’t want a rerun of those details with Sebastian.

So he says, “We’re supposed to be studying,” and forces his biology textbook open, only for Sebastian to grab it by the spine and chuck it over his shoulder.

“Do you?” he asks again.        

Kurt sighs. These study dates have always been pointless. Sebastian is really easily distracted, meaning not only does he put off his own homework until the last minute, he makes Kurt do so too.

Knowing answering him is the only way to get him to shut up, Kurt says, “Sometimes.”

“The sex would be _phenomenal._ ”

“There are things to look forward to in a mate other than sex,” Kurt says pointedly.

Sebastian snorts. “Only you could say such a thing. Of _course_ the sex is the best thing to look forward to. Imagine everything you’re doing right now and how good it feels and then multiply that by a _million_.” Sebastian’s almost giddy with his thoughts, but Kurt’s starting to feel distinctly uncomfortable. Sebastian catches the shift in mood immediately. “Wait a second,” he says, sitting up slowly as his lips part and eyes search Kurt’s face. “You’re not - you’re not a virgin are you, Kurt Hummel?”

Never one for letting Sebastian make him feel ashamed of anything about himself, Kurt juts his chin out and says,  “Yeah, so?”

“So? _So_ you must be in agony!”

Kurt slides off the bed and walks over to his fallen book, if only to give himself an excuse to escape Sebastian’s shocked expression.

“Kurt!” Sebastian calls, twisting his body to look at Kurt from his position on the bed. “How are you not _exploding_ with frustration?”

“I have something called self control.”

“ _Fuck_ self control! This is beyond normal self control, this is self _torture._ No wonder your wolf is so touchy on the full moon!”

Kurt scowls. He knows how he gets on the full moon, pawing at Sebastian and huddling as close to him as he can get but - _it’s the full moon_. No one is completely in control of themselves. There’s always a power shift from human to wolf and the wolf can demand the strangest things. If curling itself around Sebastian and sleeping with his muzzle buried in his fur is something it needs, then it’s something it needs. Simple. Even his dad understands that.

“Maybe I want to wait until sex with someone means something to me rather than just using the other person as a means to scratch an itch.” Kurt says with a shrug.

“You must jerk yourself _raw_ ,” says Sebastian. His expression is so earnestly thoughtful it’s almost funny.

“Shut up,” Kurt mutters, smacking Sebastian’s shoulders with his textbook as he climbs back onto the bed. He doesn’t make an effort to go back to studying. Instead, he settles back against his pillows and stretching his legs out in front of himself.

“I’m seriously trying to figure out how you do it though,” Sebastian says, his eyes still focused intently on Kurt’s face. “Jokes aside. It’s bad enough that my wolf is never satisfied with any sex I have, I can’t imagine what it’d do if I didn’t give it any sex _at all_.”

“It would wait for its mate,” Kurt says calmly. 

“You know that could take years, right? Finding _its mate_?” Sebastian flumps back on the bed, his torso bouncing lightly and stretches his arms up over his head.  “The fucking problem,” he says, punctuating his words with a frustrated huff of breath, “is that we have to mate with _another Alpha_ and the only Alpha in my pack is me or my parents. At least you’ve got that Rachel chick if everything fails.”

“Rachel’s a girl and I’m gay” Kurt says smoothly. “And I love her, but I wouldn’t be able to mate with her any more than I’d be able to mate with you.”

Kurt knows that was the wrong thing to say the second he says it. He’d meant for it to mean that he’d never even consider tying himself down to Sebastian with such a permanent bond, regardless of how much his wolf might like Sebastian. The confident smirk on Sebastian’s face means he’s ignoring the insult in the words. “Oh you’d be able to mate with me,” he says with a playful wink.

“Technically, yes. But I wouldn’t enjoy it. Your stench would distract from any pleasure.”

“You’re lying,” Sebastian says, sliding closer to Kurt on the bed, his voice low and teasing. “There’s no _way_ I smell bad to you.” Kurt stares back at Sebastian and gives him a half shrug. Sebastian leans in, a little too close for comfort, but Kurt’s wolf scrambles to attention inside of him as his head is filled with Sebastian’s scent. “Describe what I smell like,” he says with a hint of a dare to his tone. “If I’m stinking, I want to know _of what_.”

“Craigslist,” Kurt replies immediately, his fingers curling slightly into his comforter as he tries to stay composed. “Cheap hair spray, bad cologne...” His wolf is responding to Sebastian’s scent, which means Kurt’s body is responding, _which means_ \- Kurt swallows shakily and raises an eyebrow coolly, willing the blood to stop flowing south in his body. “Is that descriptive enough?” he asks.

There is no way Sebastian doesn’t know Kurt’s lying through his teeth but he grins, playing along. “It’ll do.” He starts to pull away, but just when Kurt’s thought they’ll go back to a boring Tuesday afternoon, Sebastian says, “Do you want to test what it’d be like?”

“What?”

“You’re an Alpha,” Sebastian says, dragging the words out, “I’m an Alpha. We can totally have mate preview sex.”

“You’re _crazy_ is what you are,” Kurt says, pushing Sebastian’s face away. Sebastian nips at the web of skin between his forefinger and thumb and Kurt’s body _jolts_ with arousal.

“I’m not suggesting we go all the way,” says Sebastian. His nose scrunches in disgust at the thought. “We can just see what all the hype’s about.”

Kurt considers it, tempted by the idea of a preview of the emotions and sensations of Mate-Sex as Sebastian calls it. “So we’d kiss?”

“I could give you a very loving handjob if you’re willing.”

Kurt takes another moment to consider and before he can change his mind, nods and says, “Okay.” He moves to sit up against the bed, but then stops, adding, “Just to be clear. I was talking about the kiss. Not the – the -”

“Handjob?” Sebastian smirks. “Yes okay, fine. C’mere.”

Sebastian doesn’t make a big deal of building up to it. He seems too eager to get to the actual kissing. Moving to settle in the space between Kurt’s legs, he cups the sides of Kurt’s face and dips his head down to press their lips together. Once, twice; on the third press, he parts them and licks into Kurt’s mouth, fingers slipping along his jaw as he tries to angle his head better.

The kisses are slow, exploratory. Kurt can feel every string of self control inside of him snapping one by one. This is his first kiss. This is _Sebastian_. This is - it’s his wolf recognizing a potential mate and liking him, latching on to the taste and smell, and feeling and clawing for _moremoregivememore_. Kurt doesn’t realize his hands are grappling at Sebastian’s shirt until he slips down a few inches on the bed. Sebastian collapses on top of him, both their breaths puffing out in small _oofs_ before they’re back to kissing.

It’s harder this time, Kurt’s teeth catching Sebastian’s lip, his tongue rolling out to press lightly against the roof of Sebastian’s mouth.

Kurt is so sensitive all over that the gentlest brush of Sebastian’s fingers feels electric, the tiniest hitch in breath echoes around his head and makes his dick swell between their bodies. He’s hard, but the realization only hits him a few seconds late, making its way through the fog in his brain that is his wolf _demanding_ for Kurt to claim this boy and mark him.

Kurt’s lost in a tangle of fighting his instincts. He scrapes his teeth along Sebastian’s jaw, his wolf’s attempt to bite and mark, but the second his human catches up with his actions, he’s pulling away in horror because _his erection is pressed up against Sebastian’s thigh_.

His humor is still intact though, thankfully, because he can say, “Your breath is revolting,” and sound convincing.

“Your lips taste like Vaseline,” Sebastian counters, as he moves away and lets Kurt sit up. “Next time do a boy a favor and try something flavored.”

“There will be no next time,” Kurt says, glad for the banter as a distraction as they straighten themselves up and clasp at their remaining control.

“I don’t know, you might decide to maul me again like you just did. You seemed pretty into that.”

“Your tongue has as much finesse as the rest of you. I was not _into_ that, I was trying to get _out_ of it without getting your saliva all over me.”

“Well I wasn’t as lucky,” Sebastian says, reaching up to wipe his jaw the back of his hand. His skin is glinting wetly where Kurt’s tongue had licked as an afterthought to the drag of his teeth. The sight of the pink marks on Sebastian’s skin make Kurt go wild with pride and fill him with such a strong sense of possessiveness that he has to remind himself it _didn’t matter_ and this is nothing. “Was that your first kiss?” Sebastian asks suddenly.

The question slaps Kurt across the face, heart skipping a beat at the reminder. “It um. Yeah, it was.”

Sebastian grins, looking pleased with himself. “Well aren’t you lucky to get such a mind-blowing first experience.”

“Please,” Kurt says with a roll of his eyes. “I would not classify that as mind-blowing.”

“What would you classify it as, then?”

Kurt hates him. “I don’t know. What would _you_ classify it as?” He feels childish replying to a question with a question, but what is he supposed to say?

Sebastian contemplates for a second. “Let’s just say that compared to every kiss I’ve gotten in the past, that was the most intense.”

“Intense?” Kurt’s voice has gone high, a little squeaky in the way he hates but _he can’t help it_. Sebastian’s licking his lips, eyes dropping to Kurt’s mouth like he’s thinking of kissing him again.

“Yeah,” he says in a low voice. “It felt like every part of me was on fire. I think it was because of the wolf? Kissing a human can be amazing if the other person knows what he’s doing, but my wolf doesn’t feel anything.”

“That’s because _you_ don’t feel anything for the other person,” Kurt cuts with a roll of his eyes. “You meet some random guy at a bar and you start making out with him. There’s no emotion involved. Why would your wolf feel anything?”

“You make it sound like Alphas can fall in love with humans.”

“My dad fell in love with Carole,” Kurt says. “You were at their wedding, you’ve seen them interact. Wouldn’t you call that love?”

“Okay look. Don’t take this the wrong way, because I think Carole is cool, I do. But I really, _really_ doubt your dad’s wolf loves her the way he loved Elizabeth.”

Kurt knows it’s true. His dad had explained as much when he’d told Kurt he was proposing to Carole last year. _“She’s not Lizzie, and I don’t expect her to be. No one can be what Lizzie was to me, and I couldn’t replace her if I wanted to. But Carole’s a kind, intelligent woman, and even my wolf understands that_.”

“Fine,” Kurt says shortly. “But human affection can be just as strong as a wolf’s. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. You think I wouldn’t feel as protective of my human friends as I feel for my pack?”

“You would. But you’re missing the point here.” Sebastian moves closer, placing his hands on Kurt’s knees. “I’ve been with human boys. I’ve kissed them, and I’ve fucked them, but kissing you was better than all of that.”

Kurt can feel the heat rush up to his cheeks, and his heart rate speed up at the confession. He wants to say something, but the words get caught in his throat, and he gets caught in the color of Sebastian’s eyes, going from hazel to tinted gold.

“Don’t get used to it,” he finally manages to say even if his voice sounds more breathless than firm. “It’s not happening again anytime soon.”

Sebastian pulls back with a grin. “We’ll see about that.”

~*~

Kurt’s running, the snow crunching beneath his paws and the crisp smell of winter heavy in the air. He doesn’t know where he’s going, doesn’t pay attention to anything except the sound of the wind rushing in his ears, and the thud-thud of his paws as they beat the ground. He jumps over logs, pushes past thick bushes and skids along slush covered ground. Sebastian’s behind him, pushing himself to catch up, but they both know that’s not going to happen until Kurt wants it to. He’s too fast for Sebastian, always has been.

They do this two to three times every week after Sebastian’s done with lacrosse practice and Kurt is finished with glee club rehearsals. They drive to the woods where they shift on the moons and run for a few hours before they have to go home. As an Alpha, he needs the exercise more than his pack does, which is why he adds on extra days with Sebastian instead of sticking to just the Wednesdays after school schedule he has with Puck and Rachel.

Kurt tires himself out eventually, slowing down until Sebastian catches up with him. They’ve got snow in their fur and their bodies are heaving with their breaths when they finally come to a stop.

Sebastian looks at Kurt for a long second, holding eye contact as he moves forward and Kurt tenses, sensing that Sebastian is planning something. He expects him to pounce or for him to break into another run daring Kurt to follow and catch up; what he doesn’t expect is for Sebastian to crouch down low and lick at his mouth in a purely submissive gesture.

Kurt stares as Sebastian moves back and straightens up, his eyes still glued to Kurt as if assessing his reaction. When Kurt continues to stare, Sebastian lets out a frustrated growl, head butting his chest in order to get a response from him.

Kurt’s never had someone show him this kind of submissive behaviour. He’s not an Alpha yet, he’s still the one _doing_ the submitting when Burt’s wolf demands it, and anything with the other werewolves has been playful.

Another growl, louder this time, and Kurt finally pounces forward, tackling Sebastian’s wolf to the ground. Sebastian doesn’t struggle. When Kurt has him lying belly up beneath him, vulnerable, and without an ounce of defensive aggression to his body, he realizes what Sebastian - or his wolf - is trying to tell him.

_Mark me._

Kurt panics.

His wolf’s reaction is to lean down and nip at Sebastian’s neck, nuzzle him all over until Sebastian smells like him, but the small human part of his brain is _freaking out_.  His face is halfway to Sebastian’s when Kurt scrambles off of him and turns around to run in the opposite direction.

He doesn’t stop until he’s at his car where he shifts back into his human and hastily pulls on his clothes, doing up the buttons unevenly. He’s just finished pushing his feet into his shoes when Sebastian shows up. Kurt doesn’t turn around when he hears Sebastian shift, not wanting to look at his naked body and lose composure.

“Kurt,” Sebastian’s voice is throaty like it gets when he’s just woken up from a nap. “About what just happened -”

“I really should get going,” Kurt interrupts, throwing his now empty duffel bag into the backseat and slamming the door shut. “The drive home takes half an hour and there’ll be traffic. I need to be back before my dad gets home.”

“Okay,” Sebastian says, disappointment lacing his words. “I’ll see you later then.”

Kurt turns around, keeping his eyes levelled on Sebastian’s face and smiles. He knows it must look painfully strained and there’s no way Sebastian isn’t picking up on how fast his heart is beating right now, but Sebastian manages a small smile back before he shifts again, a wolf replacing the spot he’d been standing.

He disappears into the forest just as Kurt gets into his car and clicks his seatbelt into place. Even though he can’t see him, Kurt swears he can feel Sebastian’s eyes watching him pull out of the clearing and on to the road. 

~*~

There is an ache building inside of Kurt, an ache that is flaring up to unbearable heights whenever he thinks of Sebastian in the days following their afternoon in the woods. He keeps recalling the pleading look in Sebastian’s eyes when he’d silently begged Kurt to mark him, and it leaves him just as clueless as it had then.

He doesn’t know is what to _do_.

The thought of someone clearly askingto be his mate is perplexing enough without that person being Sebastian. He knows Sebastian wants a pack badly, craves one to make him feel powerful, _worthwhile_ , but he’d never thought Sebastian would want a pack _with_ him. All his life, his dad’s words have lingered in the back of his mind like a warning, the very real threat of Sebastian trying to _take_ his pack from him, but with all of his training, nothing could have prepared Kurt for this. This willingness of his wolf to give in and take Sebastian as his own and give him the power of being an equal.

Kurt had thought he wouldn’t have to worry about a mate for at least a couple more years, definitely not before he was even Alpha-in-command. He debates over telling his dad, but there isn’t much Burt will be able to do. The decision is all Kurt’s. The only way an Alpha werewolf can challenge his child’s choice of a mate is to try and overthrow him in a fight. Kurt doesn’t want to think of Sebastian fighting his dad. Or worse, think of _him_ fighting his dad.  

As if the copious amount of thinking his brain is doing isn’t enough, Kurt’s body seems to be just as hell bent on making him suffer. The hot flashes start up stronger than they were when Kurt’s wolf was going through sexual maturity three years ago. It’s not just the need for release anymore, it’s the need for _someone_ to give it to him. Kurt can tell the difference, feels the frustrating emptiness inside of him seconds after he’s come, his hand still sticky with semen and his body and animal no more sated than it had been when he’d started.

He lies awake at night, too hot and sticky on top of his sheets even though the weather is freezing and jerks himself off until it hurts to touch. There is no pleasure in the act, not unless he counts the split second of tension snapping in his body, and blank calm that follows it as pleasure.

He keeps dreaming about Sebastian’s wolf - flashes of sandy brown fur wrapped around him, tails swishing lazily and tongues smoothing gently over fur.

His frustration is so palpable even Carole and Finn notice it. Burt probably notices too, but he’s been through the awkward years of Kurt going through puberty and his wolf’s sexual maturity hand-in-hand so he’s learned to shut off all heightened senses around Kurt to avoid picking up on sounds or scents that neither of them wants him to pick up on. Kurt’s grateful for that, _incredibly_ grateful, because it means his dad doesn’t hear the helpless groans he makes late at night or realize that Kurt’s pulse starts racing at the oddest times because his wolf is raging inside of him because he wants to go mark his mate.

Burt is essentially as oblivious as a pure human dad would be, and he avoids questioning Kurt beyond, “everything okay?” It gives Kurt the freedom to decide what information he wants to share with his dad and when.

As for his stepbrother and stepmom, Kurt brushes off Finn’s concern easily enough and tries his best to be polite to Carole in reassuring her that his problems are related to his wolf.

“Can I do anything to help?” she asks, and Kurt can see a tiny tinge of helplessness in her features. He knows Carole never entered this marriage with the intention of stepping into Elizabeth’s shoes, but its times like these, when this unavoidable genetic divide comes up between them, that she feels cut off from them and she feels resolutely useless to him and his dad.

“Thanks, Carole,” Kurt says, offering her a grateful smile and covering her hand with his. “But really, there’s nothing anyone can do. It’s just a phase, it’ll pass.”

~*~

Wednesday afternoon, four days of complete silence from Sebastian later, Kurt goes for his scheduled run with Puck and Rachel. He makes Rachel bring her car because he plans on staying longer than both of them. He’s already spoken to his dad about the possibility of sleeping the night in the woods and skipping school on the grounds of not feeling well because he’s _not_. He does feel sick, sick to the bone, sick enough that he’s lost his appetite and his sleep pattern and his general ability to _focus_ on things.

His dad had of course, rejected the idea, but Kurt knows he can pull off one night and blame it on the moon that’s a week away and his raging Alpha hormones.

He should have known Sebastian would be there waiting for him. When Kurt scents him, his human immediately wants to turn and run back to his car but his wolf is much stronger, craving the feeling of Sebastian close to him again. He manages to wait it out until Rachel and Puck leave. They don’t realize Sebastian is nearby, their senses not as tuned to the scent of him as Kurt’s are.

Once the two of them have left, waving to Kurt as the car pulls away, Kurt turns back to the woods and runs, following the trail until he finds Sebastian’s wolf stretching his body in a small clearing. He turns his head to look at Kurt, tail giving one lazy swish as Kurt comes to a stop a few feet away from him.

Kurt doesn’t know if it’s purposeful or not, but the way Sebastian is stretching seems to emphasize the length of his body, makes his fur appear thicker and the strength in his muscles a quiet allure. It makes Kurt’s wolf mad with desire.

Sebastian straightens and starts towards Kurt, moving slowly like he’s giving him a chance to back off but the confident look in his eyes says he knows Kurt isn’t going anywhere. He comes to a stop inches away from him, leaning in to bump their noses together. He nuzzles Kurt’s face, pressing hard until Kurt turns his head to nuzzle back. A contented hum leaves Sebastian’s throat, rumbling through him as he presses even closer, body warm and tongue flicking out to wet the fur at the back of Kurt’s neck before his teeth lightly nip at it.

The back of a wolf’s neck is used to make him submit or is presented as a sign of submission. The fact that Kurt doesn’t jerk back at first contact is the biggest sign of how far gone Kurt’s wolf is in his decision about Sebastian. Kurt’s never had anyone, save for his Alpha’s touch it. Not even Rachel or Puck try to nip at him when they’re playing.

So when Sebastian continues to nip at Kurt’s neck and Kurt only feels a lazy, comfortable warmth spread through him, his body pressing closer to Sebastian by its own accord, he knows it’s as good as active submission.

And that he’s screwed.

Sebastian pulls back after a moment, eyes bright and happy and presses his nose to Kurt’s again, gentler this time. Kurt pushes the inevitable conversation they’re going to have after this to the back of his mind and darts his tongue out to lick at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian pushes himself back on his hind legs, paws reaching up to press against Kurt’s sides like he’s trying to urge into a human imitation of a hug. Kurt ducks out from beneath him, his eyes daring when he looks at Sebastian for a moment before breaking into a run.

After their run, when they’ve shifted back to their humans, Kurt pulls on his clothes and walks over to Sebastian’s parked car where Sebastian is just finishing pulling a shirt over his head and says, “You want me to mark you.” It’s pointless to make it a question.

Sebastian looks out of place against the snow dusted backdrop of trees now that he’s no longer in his wolf. “Do you want to?”

Kurt opens his mouth, answer already on the tip of his tongue offered by the wolf inside of him. But with his human brain adding thought to the whole situation, there are a lot more layers to consider. Kurt pauses, exhaling slowly as he mulls it over. “It wouldn’t work,” he says. “We’d never be able to make it work.”

“I wouldn’t say that. We could be strong together.”

“We’d never agree on anything,” Kurt says with a shake of his head. “And I don’t think either of us is ready for that kind of emotional and physical bond with each other.”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian grins, the playfulness creeping into his body language as he steps forward with both shoulders slightly pushed out. “I’m actually looking forward to _physically bonding_ with you.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I should have known you’re just interested in the sex.”

Sebastian stops smiling immediately. “I swear I’m not.”

The seriousness throws Kurt off a bit, his own expression slipping into a confused frown. “I know you’re looking for a larger pack but I’m not sure you’re looking in the right place.”

Sebastian’s expression crumbles. “And why not?”

“Because we’re not going to work.”

“ _Why_? Is this because of your soulmate fantasies?” he asks, his voice harsher now. “Because if you’re hoping your mate is going to be the love of your life, then I’m sorry to disappoint you but that’s probably not going to happen. Your chances of finding an Alpha in this town that’s good enough to match you are slim enough, let alone finding a _gay_ Alpha.”

“That isn’t why I’m -”

“Isn’t it?”

“Mating is a lifetime commitment!” Kurt exclaims. “Do you understand that? Because I don’t think you get what you’re asking for here. You think it’s as easy as fucking each other on the full moon and pushing around a few Betas? That’s _not_ what mates are for, that’s not pack. You haven’t seen a functional pack in your life. You know _nothing_ about what it means to be a part of one.”

Sebastian looks like he’s been slapped across the face, expression stunned and laced with hurt. Kurt takes a shaky breath, realizing what he’s just said. “I’m sorry -”

“No, it’s true,” Sebastian says, his voice like ice. “I don’t have a functional pack, never have. My parents stopped shifting years ago, they’re horrible Alphas, and they never interact with any other wolves.”

The _thump-thump-thump_ of Sebastian’s pulse racing is deafening. “I’m sorry,” Kurt says again. “But making you my mate isn’t going to solve anything.”

“ _It’ll give me a proper pack_ ,” Sebastian says, still not looking to give up. His eyes are wide, pleading and his brows creased together as he takes a step forward.

Kurt knows Sebastian has refused to find another pack and submit himself to the Alpha as a Beta, he thinks Burt had offered to take Sebastian in when he first found out about the Smythes. Sebastian may not be as power hungry as they had thought, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like power. He’d never be able to submit to anyone and mating with Kurt would mean he wouldn’t have to. A wolf’s relationship with his mate is completely different to the relationship it shares with the rest of his pack. Sebastian’s wolf baring his neck for Kurt wouldn’t make him weak – it would make him stronger.

It’s not hard to see why Sebastian wants this so badly. Kurt’s just _not sure_. Sebastian can sense that, because he says, “You could get a partner out of this. I know I’m not the Prince Charming of your daydreams, but I could love you.” He offers the words without a hint of hesitance or the underlying sense that loving him would be a compulsion. He states it like it’s already half true, that _I could love you_ means _I love you already_ and it’s no big deal.

Kurt’s heart stutters.

Sebastian picks up on that instantly, and grins. “It’s not going to be that earth shattering, meant for each other, kissing in the rain stuff but  it could be something,” he says with a shrug.

“But...neither of us are Alpha’s yet.” It seems important to point that out. It’s the only argument Kurt holds against Sebastian’s proposal anymore because everything else seems to be slipping away. “We can’t mate until we’re command.”

Betas don’t need mates the same way Alphas do. They can marry humans, they can marry someone within the pack, but the intensity of their relationship, no matter how strong their love is, doesn’t hold a candle to the relationship between two mated Alphas. Kurt has Alpha blood in him, he’s felt the tug of want for a mate since he was fifteen, but even if he were to Mark Sebastian, they wouldn’t be able to mate in the proper sense of the word until they were Alphas-in-command. Anything before that would be equivalent to  a inter-Beta or inter-human relationship.

“And we’re what, a few months away from taking command?” Sebastian says. “We’re both stepping up after graduation, right?”

“Yes, but -”

“But _what_?” Sebastian presses. “We can still mark each other right now; no one’s going to stop us. It’s entirely our choice.”

“Sebastian if we do this - if we do this we’re going to be bound for life.”

“I know that.”

“You’re going to have to deal with Rachel and Puck.”

“I can work on my social skills.”

“We’re probably going to have a kid together.”

“I bet pregnancy would look super hot on me.”

“ _Sebastian_.” Kurt looks at him with a firm gaze, no hint of playfulness. “This is serious.”

“And so am I.” Sebastian steps closer and to Kurt’s surprise, he gathers both of Kurt’s hands in his own and brings them up to his chest. “Give me a chance,” he says. “ _Please_.”

Kurt looks at him and tries to imagine how their life would be if he agreed to this. He tries to imagine them like he saw his mom and dad, he only mated pair he’s ever observed so closely.

He can’t. He just can’t see them working like that.

Will they live together? Will they get married? Kurt likes Sebastian, maybe even loves him, but he doesn’t _love_ him, not in the way he’d always imagined loving his mate. And a kid. _How are they going to handle raising a kid together?_ Is Sebastian even father material at all? Is he even ready for commitment like this? Is he going to stop sleeping around? Will they be exclusive?

“We don’t have to be,” Sebastian says, when Kurt asks him if they’ll be exclusive. “Our wolves and our humans can have different lives. You can have as many boyfriends as you want.”

“How will that work? Dating someone else while we’re still...” he leaves the rest of the sentence hanging, not quite sure how they’ll end up defining their relationship.

Sebastian drops Kurt’s hand and crosses his arms over his chest, tipping his chin up to stare firmly at him, his eyes accusing. “You’re just dragging this out. Forget about what your dad will say, forget about Puck and Rachel and your picture perfect mate fantasy and just focus on me for a second. All you need to make this work is to _want_ it.”

His expression softens, “Do you want us to be pack?”

Kurt considers it for a moment, his brain trying to work them into a mirror image of their parent’s lives again. _No_ , Kurt tells himself, _focus on Sebastian_. He traces his eyes over the familiar face of his best friend, and imagines them as they are right now, working with this push-and-pull of strength, caring for each other and looking out for each other only with the added  benefit with being pack.

The rush of warmth flooding his body at the thought gives him his answer. “Yes,” he says. “Yes I want us to be pack.”

~*~

Exactly a week later, with the moon slowly being stripped away cloud by cloud, Kurt drives to Sebastian’s house. His dad is already with the rest of the pack, and he hadn’t questioned Kurt on why he would be late once Kurt had assured him he’d be there before full moonrise. His dad has been giving him a lot of space lately, and Kurt isn’t sure whether or not it’s an extension of the polite, ‘I will not abuse my werewolf abilities to spy on you’, but he’s grateful all the same.

Kurt only has to pull up in Sebastian’s driveway, before Sebastian is coming out the front door, the light from the house casting shadows on the ground as he rushes to Kurt’s car. “Hi,” he says once he’s slid into the passenger seat.

“Hey,” Kurt responds, trying his best to keep things from getting awkward. But he ruins it a second later by asking, “Are your parents home?” _Do they know you’re coming with me?_

“Yes,” Sebastian says dismissively, fumbling with his seatbelt. “Can we drive now?”

The seatbelt snaps into place and Sebastian lifts his head to the road, 

Kurt drives. He doesn’t know where they’re going. Despite the hours he’s put into thinking of this night for the past week and a half, he really has nothing planned. Every time he’d tried formulating a plan of action, he’d veered off track and ended up daydreaming about the actual Marking.

“Where are we going?” Sebastian asks when Kurt takes a left turn.

“I have no idea,” he answers honestly.

Thankfully, Sebastian just grins. “Cool,” he says, leaning back in his seat and rolling his shoulders. “I like surprises.”

It’s not much of a surprise, just the parking lot of an abandoned warehouse, but it’ll work. Sebastian peers out the window looking like he’s straining to remember something as Kurt unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out. Sebastian follows him, shutting the front door of the car and opening the back with the same thoughtful expression on his face.

It’s when they’re both settled next to each other in the back seat that Sebastian says, “I’ve been here before.”

“Really?” Kurt asks, feeling nerves blanket him like a bucket of water thrown over his head. He knows they’re short on time but still he tries to draw out the conversation. “When?”

“A long time back,” Sebastian replies. His eyes sweep over the empty space. “When my parents stopped shifting, before I officially worked things out with Burt to be allowed on your territory for the moon, I used to come here and shift alone.”

Kurt’s distracted completely from the Marking. His heart clenches, anger twisting inside of him along with pity and a strong sadness that he hasn’t felt in a long time. “You used to come all the way out here _alone_?”

Sebastian nods, a hint of a grin on his lips. “Yup. And there wasn’t a single slip up. Just pointing that out in case you still doubt my strength.”

“I don’t,” Kurt says. “I never have. Your sanity, maybe, and your morals, but - never your strength.”

Kurt expects a cocky response but instead he gets Sebastian scooting closer to him on the seat, reaching out to touch his arm. “Kurt,” he whispers, his breath warm on Kurt's cheek. His nose touches the juncture of Kurt’s neck, and he skims it up to behind Kurt’s ear, until his lips are pressed to the fleshy lobe. “Mark me,” he says, and it sounds equal parts like a command and a desperate plea.

Kurt doesn’t know what they’re supposed to do exactly, except that he’s supposed to mark Sebastian clearly so that when the rest of the pack sees him tonight, they know. With shaky fingers and a deep breath, he reaches up to cup Sebastian’s neck and pulls him closer.

They have to work around fitting their bodies together in the limited space of the backseat, and when they’re finally comfortable, Kurt closes his eyes and lets his wolf take over.

He’s so nervous, that even with the full moon, it’s hard to let go of his human inhibitions completely. His lips are pressed to Sebastian’s neck, feeling the pulse throbbing beneath slick hot skin, but all Kurt can think is _this is ridiculous._

“What?” Sebastian asks, pulling back a few inches when Kurt remains frozen.

“This feels all wrong,” Kurt says, shaking his head as he drops his hand from Sebastian’s neck. “Marking is supposed to feel different.”

“How would you know? You’ve never done this before.”

“I haven’t, but I know it’s supposed to feel special, and I’m supposed to feel connected to you and move on instinct, and none of that is happening.”

“Okay, how about you let me lead?” Sebastian offers, cupping Kurt’s face firmly. “I think I’ve got the instincts part down.”

Kurt nods, concentrating on relaxing. It’s hard, especially when Sebastian leans in and presses his lips not to Kurt’s neck, but to the corner of his mouth. “Trust me,” he says, and Kurt lets his shoulders sag, the tension dissipating with the realization that that’s all he needs to do.

Trust Sebastian.

Sebastian kisses him, swooping in as quickly as he had done the first time they’d kissed in his bedroom. Kurt’s curls his arms around Sebastian’s neck, draws him closer and lets the slippery tip of Sebastian’s tongue push past his lips into his mouth. His wolf finally catches up with his human and all of a sudden, like a switch being turned on, Kurt feels his body flooded with an overwhelming alertness.

The crisp scent of Sebastian’s skin, the warm thrum of the blood in his veins, the taste of him on Kurt’s lips, and the knowledge that he’s going to be Kurt’s mate makes his head spin. Kurt relinquishes control of his human, giving up everything save for his body, and lets the wolf settle in with smugness and excitement.

“Does this feel right, Kurt?” Sebastian asks, his voice raspy and eyes glinting Alpha-red for the first time ever when they glance up at him. There’s a teasing smile on his face, lips still quirked up when he brushes a kiss to Kurt’s chin, to the dip under it, hand pushing Kurt’s shirt off his shoulder and fingers tracing abstract patterns down his arm.

“Just shut up,” Kurt manages to say. The words feel funny forming on his tongue, like he shouldn’t know how to talk at all. It’s hard to think right now as it is with his wolf in control, but everything still makes sense. The _rightness_ of pushing himself on to Sebastian’s lap and cupping his neck feels exactly like what Kurt had been expecting. The low moan Sebastian lets out, dropping his head in a complete sign of submission only fuels Kurt’s desire to mark him.

It’s doesn’t feel ridiculous anymore, pressing his mouth to Sebastian’s neck and kissing him repeatedly with soft, feather light brushes of his lips. The urgency stirs in him with the magnetic tug of the moon and the hot press of Sebastian’s palms against the small of his back. Kurt starts to suck at the skin he’d been kissing, taking it between his lips and savoring the taste of Sebastian before he moves further down, inching towards his collarbone.

He doesn’t feel in control, but he feels a rush of control at the same time. His human is helpless over his animal and his animal is swelling with the power of having another Alpha bared submissively beneath him. He moves completely on instinct, taste and smell and small sounds of contentment falling from Sebastian’s lips guiding his movements.

It’s not so much the act of Marking itself, but what it stands for that makes the heavy feeling of possessiveness settle in Kurt’s belly. His wolf has subconsciously been waiting to call Sebastian his own since they were seven, and now that it’s getting the chance, he feels heady with the power.

When Kurt’s finished covering Sebastian’s collarbone and neck with his Marks, he moves to lean over him again, bracing a hand on the car seat as he hooks the fingers of his other hand in the collar of Sebastian’s shirt, dragging him up. The moonlight flooding through the car windows softens Sebastian’s expression, but even then, Kurt can see the want in his eyes, see the way he cranes his neck up like he wants Kurt to kiss him again.

Kurt presses the tips of their noses together, brushing his lips along Sebastian’s mouth in a soft tease, before he smirks. “Guess what,” he says, his hand moving under Sebastian’s shirt completely to press against his heart. “You’re mine, now.”

~*~

Kurt howls for his pack once he’s in the woods with Sebastian right beside him. In his wolf, the mark isn’t visible on his skin the same way it had been on his human, but the scent of Kurt is lathered on to him so strongly that it’s unmistakable that Kurt’s put it there intentionally. He can smell Sebastian on his own skin, not as strong but definitely there.

A chorus of howls respond to Kurt’s call and Kurt breaks into a run with the intent to seek out the other wolves. It doesn’t take much effort to find them, and when he does, Kurt stops just at the edge of where they’re all assembled and waits for Sebastian to catch up.

The second Sebastian appears beside him, Kurt can feel the shift in the mood. It’s like a breeze creating a ripple in still water, the way his pack suddenly goes from calm to shaken with threat. The adult wolves straighten up, bodies tensing as the younger move forward, the smell of a non-pack member rousing their bloodlust.

They should be used to Sebastian’s scent by now; he’s been shifting in the woods for more than a few years, but he’s never actually come this close to them so their defensiveness is understandable at least.

Leroy and Puck are the closest to them and the first to move forward with their teeth bared and ears pushed back, but they both stop when Sebastian presses himself to Kurt.

They can smell Kurt’s Mark.

His dad is standing the farthest back. Kurt catches his eye and holds his gaze, waiting for a response. When Burt starts moving towards them, Kurt leans back against the weight of Sebastian next to him, seeking out comfort because he is _terrified_ , his pulse speeding up until he feels his body blazing with heat and struck with the urge to run.

He knows there are only two possible ends to this scenario; one - his dad does nothing, or two – his dad attacks.

Burt comes to a stop inches from them, eyes sweeping back and forth between their faces. Kurt is neither as tall nor as thick as his dad’s wolf and the fact that he is still Kurt’s Alpha intimidates him. Already Kurt can feel the screaming urge to drop his head and present the back of his neck for Burt or to flop onto his back belly-up and feel Burt’s weight on top of him. The only thing stopping his wolf from submitting is Sebastian, who remains with his head high, a low constant growl filling the air between them.

The snow crunches as Burt takes another slow step closer, his eyes now fixed firmly on Sebastian. Sebastian remains still as Burt leans his face in, sniffing pointedly like he’s trying to make sure what he smells is correct. There’s a pause, a nervous, endless pause that’s ends with both of them jumping when Burt growls, loud and ferocious.

Immediately the pack moves closer behind Burt as both Kurt and Sebastian crouch low, ready to fight. Kurt feels the dread creeping up on him, choking his throat. He’s still terrified, still unwilling to fight his Alpha, and he’s not sure he even _can_.

But Burt backs down, taking a few calming steps away from them until Kurt straightens up and recognizes the silent approval in his stance. He runs to his dad and tackles him to the ground, yelping with delight when Burt doesn’t push him off, refusing to be in a submissive position, and instead lets him play, lets Kurt nuzzle Burt’s neck and lick his mouth.

~*~

“We knew it!” Rachel declares. “We _knew_ something was bound to happen between you two sooner or later.”

“Really?” Kurt asks, a smile slowly spreading across his lips.

Rachel nods furiously. “Ever since you gave him that brownie in fourth grade.”

“What brownie?” Kurt frowns, trying to think back to fourth grade. His train of thought is cut off when Puck cuts in with a low _holy shit_ and Kurt forgets all about elementary school and brownies because Sebastian’s just emerged from behind his car, clad only in low slung shorts and slippers.

Kurt’s eyes are pulled to his bare chest, to the side of his neck and his collarbone where small marks are scattered across the freckle dusted skin like badges. They hadn’t been as noticeable a few hours ago when Sebastian had been in his wolf. But now they stand out against his skin, bright red at some points, a mixture of deep purple and ruby at others, sparking the same warm possessiveness in Kurt he’d felt while putting them there.

Rachel has the wits to ask, “Aren’t you _cold_?” but the rest of the pack has gone noticeably silent. Kurt can see the adults glancing over at them, eyes sweeping over the Marks on Sebastian’s body.

“Nah,” Sebastian says, shaking off her concerned face with a shrug. “I run hotter than most.” He winks at Kurt, slinging an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. Kurt can now see the stubble lining in jaw, ticking the edge of one such mark, and he resists the urge to trace his fingers over it or to lean in and lick it again.

“Never knew you had it in you, to be honest, Kurt,” Puck says, raking his eyes over Sebastian’s chest. “That’s pretty hardcore.”

Kurt flushes, feeling his cheeks warm. He wants to point out that his dad is looking at them, but it’s no use because Burt will hear anything he says either way. So instead, Kurt says, “I was trying to make a point.”

“Speaking of which,” Rachel cuts in, turning to Sebastian, “I don’t know if I should welcome you to the pack yet or wait until it’s official -”

“It _is_ official,” Sebastian says. His voice is controlled, but can hear the hint of nervousness beneath his words, like he’s not sure it is, like he thinks Kurt’s going to back out.

Rachel doesn’t help by saying, “Well yes, but Kurt’s not Alpha yet and you two might change your mind.”

Kurt  cuts in before she can say anything else. “We won’t, Rachel,” he says firmly. Next to him, he can feel Sebastian relax, his fingers curling against Kurt’s hip.

“So are you two like, boyfriends now?” Puck asks.

“Not really,” Sebastian says.

“It’s kind of complicated,” says Kurt.

Rachel frowns, Puck looks like he’s thinking something dirty, and Kurt has barely started hoping he doesn’t say whatever he’s thinking out loud when Leroy calls for Rachel.

“Coming, dad!” she shouts back, before turning to Kurt. “This conversation isn’t over,” she says, pulling him into a hug. She pats Sebastian on the shoulder when she pulls away, kisses Puck’s jaw and then she’s gone.

Max and Alyssa return seconds after Leroy and Rachel leave, and the sight of them makes a yawning Sarah decide it’s time to leave too. Once the trio has gone, it’s just Burt, Puck, Sebastian and Kurt left.

“Need a ride again?” Puck asks Burt as he approaches them.

“Thanks kid, but I think I’ll head home with Kurt now that he’s here.”

“I have to drop Sebastian off first,” Kurt says, hand twitching when Sebastian’s fingers brush his palm.

“Sebastian’s coming with us,” Burt says, already opening the car door and climbing into the passenger seat. “The three of us need to have a little chat.”

~*~

They take turns to showers first, scrubbing off the dirt from their skin and changing into clean clothes. It turns out to be more of a distraction than a means of calming him down, because the sight of Sebastian in a borrowed pair of Kurt’s sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt makes Kurt’s possessiveness spark up again, only heightened by the marks on Sebastian’s skin that still smell strongly of him beneath the light smell of soap. He has to work very hard to resist pinning Sebastian to the wall and darkening those marks.

Carole and Finn are still asleep, the house quiet when Kurt and Sebastian go back downstairs. His dad’s at the table waiting for them, freshly showered but still sporting the scratchy beard he’s acquired overnight.

“You boys hungry?” he asks when they sit down.

“I can wait,” Sebastian says “I’m curious to know what you have to say first.”

It’s possibly the most awkward few minutes of Kurt’s life, beaten only by the sex talk he’d had with his dad when he was fifteen. Burt naturally has a million questions on his mind, mostly inquiring about the _how long’s_ and _are you ready_ ’s of their situation. Kurt replies as patiently as he can, trying to mask the guilt he feels for not talking to his dad about his plan earlier, whereas Sebastian stares at Burt with his shoulders squared and his words firm like there is nothing in the world that could scare him out of his decision right now. At one point he snaps, “Do you think I would have jumped into this commitment if I wasn’t one hundred percent certain I wanted this? Do you think _Kurt_ would’ve?”

“Hey,” Burt says, the aggression in his tone matching Sebastian’s. “Look buddy, I’m trying to be supportive here, okay? But you can’t blame me for being confused when before yesterday the two of you couldn’t get along for five minutes without having a go at each other and now you’re suddenly mates.”

Kurt scratches the back of his neck, hearing the accusation in Burt’s tone. _You should have told me sooner._

Burt takes a deep breath, lets the sudden bout of frustration pass and continues. “I know the urge to mate is overwhelming at your age, trust me. I’ve been there with Kurt’s mom.  But I don’t want either of you settling for the first Alpha that comes along when you could end up regretting it later.”

“I’m not _settling_ for your son, Burt. I’m _choosing_ him.” Sebastian says, fingers curling into tight, determined fists on the table. “And in case you’ve failed to notice - he’s already chosen me.” To emphasize his point, he tugs the collar of his shirt to show off his marks more clearly.

“Oh I’ve noticed,” Burt says, eyes glued to the marks.

“So then you can quit trying to convince us we’re making a mistake.”

Burt drags his eyes from Sebastian’s neck to his face and then to Kurt who offers him a confident smile and says, “He’s right, Dad. We’ve thought about it plenty, we know what this is going to mean for us and for the pack, and we’re absolutely, positively sure. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

His words seem to do the trick. There’s finality in the way Burt nods, rubbing a hand over his chin as he smiles. “Well, then. I don’t know what to say except – good luck waiting for graduation.” His smile turns wicked and Kurt blushes furiously, knowing exactly what his dad is implying. He can already feel the slow torture of trying to resist his wolf’s urges, the thought of having to drag it out for almost six more months is unbearable without his dad’s added teasing. But at the same time, Burt’s playful expression makes Kurt calmer because it means Burt isn’t averse to their decision.

“Thanks dad,” he says with as much sarcasm as he can manage.

Sebastian is grinning next to him, the shameless bastard. “Oh don’t worry,” he says to Burt. “We’ll figure out some ways to pass the time.” He even throws in a wink for good measure.

“Alright – scrambled eggs and sausages, anyone?” Kurt stands, ready to end this conversation and meet another one of his pressing needs, namely feeding his growling stomach.

~*~

The hardest part is letting Sebastian go. Kurt clings to him after breakfast is over with and he’s about to leave, hands bunched in the material of his shirt as they kiss goodbye on the front porch. It’s like something out of Kurt’s romantic daydreams – except Sebastian is not his boyfriend and the moment isn’t as romantic as it is charged with _need_. It hurts just thinking of Sebastian driving so far away and sleeping alone, of the scent of him fading and not as close or sharp as it right now. Even the few seconds their lips separate before meshing together for another kiss is torture and they chase after each other’s mouths, heedless of the wet sounds echoing in the air around them.

The neighbours could see, Kurt’s dad could come out and see, someone out for an early morning jog could see but Kurt just _doesn’t care_. Not if Sebastian’s lips are on his and their bodies are flush against each other. He needs this closeness, and he’ll forget about getting caught and parents for as long as he can get away with.

There’s a knock on the door behind him a few minutes later, followed by Burt’s gruff voice saying, “I’m coming out boys,” and Kurt hurries to straighten up and turn around just as the front door opens. Burt doesn’t look happy, but he doesn’t look mad either. Mostly, he looks resigned. He avoids looking directly at either of them, which Kurt can understand because they probably look utterly debauched, and says, “I don’t want the neighbours getting a free show, so I’d rather you two continue this upstairs in the privacy of your bedroom.”

Kurt stares at his dad, very aware of Sebastian’s hand heavy and hot on his waist. “Um - but you just said Sebastian had to leave.”

“Well I changed my mind,” Burt says, still not looking at him. “If Sebastian’s parents are okay with it then he can stay.”

“Sebastian’s parents are _definitely_ okay with it,” Sebastian says, smiling widely. “Sebastian’s parents don’t even care as long as he gets home by curfew tonight.”

Burt nods.  “Just - keep it down. I know it can be hard -” he pauses to narrow his eyes at Sebastian when he sniggers at the word _hard_ , “- but you gotta show some level of control and respect. And I really want to get some sleep.”

“We understand,” Kurt says quickly, elbowing Sebastian in the ribs to keep him quiet. “Thanks dad.”

They follow Burt up the stairs, maintaining a respectful distance both from him and each other until Burt and Carole’s bedroom door shuts with a soft click. Only then does Kurt shut his own door and letting out a deep breath. Sebastian’s busy taking his shirt off and climbing into Kurt’s bed with easy familiarity. Kurt toes off his shoes near the door and joins him. They’re silent as they shift around, trying to find a comfortable position.

When they finally settle, with Kurt’s leg hooked over Sebastian’s thighs and their heads on one pillow, Sebastian says, “I still have to tell my Alphas.”

Kurt doesn’t miss the way he says _Alphas_ and not _parents_ , because the latter would have been happy for Kurt and Sebastian together if it hadn’t been for the complications of _why_. “You won’t need to _tell_ them,” Kurt says, rubbing his thumb along Sebastian’s collarbone. “It’ll be pretty obvious.”

“Who knows, maybe they’re weak and ignorant enough, they won’t even understand the significance” Sebastian says, a bitter smile on his lips. “I could just introduce you as my boyfriend and they wouldn’t know anything was off.”

“Except the fact that I happen to belong to the strongest pack in Lima and they’re not stupid enough to overlook that.”

Sebastian’s face breaks into a grin, a reaction Kurt had not been expecting. He realizes why that is a second later, and he can’t help but smile too. “My dad always warned me you were power hungry. I knew you were coming after me for my pack.”

He laughs when Sebastian nips at his jaw, his eyes bright and happy. “You don’t seem to mind.”

Kurt wants to retort with a snappy remark or deny his statement completely but Sebastian is kissing along his throat, each press of lips slow and lingering, little points of contact burning up his skin. So he just _mm_ ’s and leaves it at that.

~*~

The following weeks pass by in alternating periods of sluggishness followed by hours of everything becoming a fast blur. Sebastian goes back to Dalton, Kurt to McKinley, and they only meet for their regular runs in the woods before driving back home to catch up on schoolwork. They’ve cut down on study dates because they both know they never get any studying done, and it’s become harder to be around each other without wanting to rip off clothes and cover their skins with each other’s scents.

Kurt  goes over to Sebastian’s house the weekend after school lets out for Christmas break for a long, much needed day of privacy. As lenient as Burt has now become about having Sebastian over, there’s always the matter of Finn and Carole, and keeping themselves in check because one of them is home. Then there’s Puck and Rachel, who have insisted on trying to ‘work on liking Sebastian’ since he’ll be part of the pack soon. That means joining them for their runs and showing up to the Lima Bean whenever they happen to get coffee together. Sebastian gets along with Puck much better now that Puck isn’t viewing him as a threat, but Rachel still annoys him. Some things never change.

Between his family and his friends always lingering around whenever he wants to get Sebastian to himself, Kurt’s grown increasingly frustrated. Which is why when Sebastian answers the door to his (blissfully) empty house, Kurt sighs in reliefs and drags him in for a deep kiss without preamble.

“Hello stranger,” Sebastian says, arm wound around Kurt’s waist and pulling him in as the other pushes the door shut. “Berry doesn’t happen to be hiding behind your car or anything right?”

“Just me.” Kurt kisses him again, tilting his head to the side and letting his eyes slip shut for a few seconds as their lips and tongues continue to get reacquainted with each other. “Your parents aren’t back until nine?”

“I told them you’re coming over; they’ll push it as late as they can. I think we’re safe until eleven at least.”

Sebastian’s parents hadn’t taken well to news of his Marking. They’d held out hope that Sebastian would ‘grow out’ of his wolf like they had and start living his life like any normal human. There’d been a fight, a few fights to be more precise, and Sebastian had called Kurt after every single one, spewing out curses faster than Kurt’s ears could of him banging his fists on the wall filling the background.

“Your parents can probably hear you,” he’d say in the hopes it would make Sebastian stop shouting.

“I don’t fucking care!” Sebastian had shouted back. “Let them!”

Kurt’s would talk him into the early hours of the morning, until he’d calmed down, sometimes even until he’d fallen asleep. The thing they both knew and hated was that Victoria and Harvey Smythe weren’t bad people - bad Alphas, definitely – but not bad people, or parents for that matter. And Sebastian kept repeating the same thing; “If they could only fucking _understand_.”

But they didn’t. They did however, reach a silent agreement to stay out of each other’s way until Sebastian moves out.

For now, they’re still stuck in the Smythe household which isn’t so bad, considering they _do_ have it to themselves, apart from the fact that they can’t do what they want even with this gracious amount of privacy.

They’ve barely started making out, tangled together on Sebastian’s bed, when Sebastian has to push Kurt away and say, “I need to cool off.”

Kurt practically whimpers, grabbing at Sebastian’s waist to hold him in place. “You are going to keep kissing me if it _kills_ you.”

“I think it _will_ kill me,” Sebastian says, closing his eyes and curling his fingers into fists next to Kurt’s head on the pillow. Kurt sucks kisses up the side of his neck, slowly rolling his tongue out to taste the slick skin. He’s never been happier about Sebastian’s irritation of clothing because it means he doesn’t have to ask him to take his shirt off – Sebastian already does that whatever chance he gets. “Kurt,” Sebastian groans and his hips stutter a little bit, erection pressing down at against Kurt’s thigh. “Remind me of all the reasons we can’t mate right now. Quick.”

“Reason number one – I’m not an Alpha yet. Technically.” Kurt kisses behind Sebastian’s ear, smoothes a hand up the slope of his back and continues, “Reason number two – it’s common decency. You don’t mate in your parent’s house, it’s their territory. Reason number -”

Sebastian slants their mouths together to shut him up. He’s not making any sounds, but his whole body is begging for more; fingers palying with the buttons of Kurt’s shirt, foot gliding up his calf and hips grinding helplessly against Kurt’s own. When he pulls back a few inches, he looks so completely wrecked that Kurt feels a burst of arousal completely unrelated to his wolf’s attraction, something else that is purely his own.

“You can still fuck me,” Sebastian says, his lips swollen with kissing, and his eyes dark. “And pull out before you knot.”

Kurt’s brain goes into overload the moment the words are out of his mouth, imagining how Sebastian would look spread out beneath him taking his cock, the flush on his skin, the spike in his scent already so delicious and heady, how his wolf would breathe a sigh of relief at finally being allowed to be close to his mate. “I don’t think -”

“You want it” Sebastian says with smug confidence. “I can smell how much you want it. Come on, Kurt. No one is going to say anything to us, no one _can_. Especially not my parents. I’ve had sex with guys in my bedroom before, they won’t mind.”

“This is different,” Kurt says, his resolve already crumbling. “It won’t be _just_ sex -” Sebastian is now kissing along Kurt’s collarbone; cruel, teasing kisses he knows wind Kurt up too much for him to do anything but babble. Sure enough all Kurt can manage is a weak, “ _Sebastian_ ,” before he’s pulling him back up to attack his mouth with a hard kiss.

Sebastian slips both hands under Kurt’s back, pushing _up_ and forcing his torso to lift off the bed and press against him. Kurt’s jaw goes slack, his mind and body buzzing with pleasure at how Sebastian feels against him. “I – I might have an idea,” he says.

He rolls them over so he can settle on top, feeling nervous. For his wolf, the act of mating is to penetrate his partner. The burning need to be close to him in the way his wolf knows best and most intimately, everything more primal and raw because of the moon. But sex for humans is different; it’s not bound to a particular night or a particular method. The pamphlets his father had given him flash through Kurt’s mind, positions and techniques, and clinical terms describing a hundred possible intimate scenarios.

“Kurt?” Sebastian says, his voice seeming far away. “This plan of yours – are you going to act on it any soon?”

Instead of giving him a reply, Kurt leans down and kisses his chin, a single kiss that makes Sebastian’s eyes flutter shut and his lips pull up into a small smile. Feeling his confidence swell, Kurt shuffles back a little so he’s straddling Sebastian’s thighs, both of his hands resting flat on Sebastian’s belly, inches up from the waistband of his jeans. Kurt keeps kissing him, touching his lips to the chain of marks on his collarbone and the side of his neck. When his hands finally start to fumble with the button of Sebastian’s jeans, Sebastian says, “I like where this is going.”

It makes Kurt laugh, pressing his face to Sebastian’s chest for a second, just until he gets the zipper down and hears the soft gasp Sebastian makes when his fingers brush against outline of his erection through his boxer briefs.

“I’m gonna – um.” He’s not sure if she should be spelling this out or if he should just go with it. It’s not as easy when it’s not completely instinctive like the Marking had been. Right now he’s feeling less like a werewolf with its mate and more like a boy experiencing his first sexual encounter.

Sebastian swallows thickly, throat bobbing and cheeks flooding with color. “Kurt. Keep going – _please_. Don’t stop.”

Kurt licks his lips and bites back a moan at how Sebastian’s dick is straining in his underwear, thick and hard and so _hot_ when Kurt curls his fingers around it. His own arousal throbs through his body, but he concentrates on learning the feeling of Sebastian in his hand, runs his fingers along the length of him, to the head of his shaft where the cloth slides along the slippery tip, and back down to the outline of his balls.

By the time Kurt pulls his jeans and underwear down to his thighs, Sebastian is a mess, hair wild as it falls onto his forehead, and skin blushing a deep shade of red. He swears loudly when Kurt wraps his fingers around soft, bare skin, neck straining as he pushes his head back into his pillow.

Kurt sets a steady pace, trying to mimic the technique he uses on himself. But everything is backwards this way and more complicated because Sebastian doesn’t respond to the twist at the upstroke as strongly as Kurt does, but his toes curl and his back arches off the bed when Kurt thumbs the spot where his shaft meets the head of his cock.

“I’ve – there’s some lube in my drawer,” Sebastian says, motioning vaguely to his nightstand.

It’s easier with the help of lube, his hand gliding down Sebastian’s cock in much smoother strokes making Sebastian flush pink all over his body instead of just his cheeks and his collarbone. He comes barely a few seconds later, gasping when his orgasm finally hits him like he’d been trying to hold on and lost the reigns of control. Kurt watches with a flare of arousal and pride at how hard he comes, sticky and messy onto his stomach.

Sebastian doesn’t give himself time to calm down; his  hands are grabbing Kurt’s hips and flipping them over in a matter of seconds, mouths slotted together once more. “That was so hot,” he says, fingers already playing with the button of Kurt’s jeans. “Want me to return the favor?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Kurt gasps, half in reply and half in response to the how Sebastian has slipped his hand beneath his underwear and is already stroking lightly. “Ohmy _god_ yes.”

Kurt expects that by _return the favor_ , Sebastian intends to give him an equally satisfying handjob, something to curb their wolves’ demands. What he doesn’t expect is for Sebastian to just barely tug his boxer briefs down to hook under his balls and then _take him in his mouth_. The wet heat is so unexpected and unfamiliar and _delicious_ that Kurt arches up into it without intending to.

Sebastian doesn’t choke, doesn’t splutter or try to stop him. He moves with the motion of Kurt’s hips, relaxing his throat and taking him in deeper. Kurt’s vision starts to blur around the edges, his body going lax with liquid warm pleasure that’s coursing through him with the slow suction of Sebastian’s mouth.

Whether he’s showing off - or really just invested in making Kurt fall apart – he’s succeeding.

“You’re– _god_ – you’re good.” Kurt slips his fingers into Sebastian’s hair and absently pets at it, not quite managing the whole tugging-and-guiding with how loose limbed and lazy he feels. He tips his head back against the pillow, licks his lips and says again, “You’re _really_ good at this.” 

Sebastian hums happily, the vibrations doing _wonders_ for Kurt’s dick, and when Kurt sneaks a glance down, he sees the edges of a smile. He doesn’t even care that he’s stroking Sebastian’s ego to levels that will be unbearable later and he might regret it. For now, he gasps when Sebastian starts to suck harder, tongue slippery and warm along the underside of his cock and lips puckering to kiss at the sticky tip with such a filthy wet sound that it has Kurt toppling into his orgasm before he’s fully prepared.

He tries to pull away but Sebastian doesn’t let him. He holds Kurt’s hips down to the bed, as Kurt’s orgasm crests and he comes in Sebastian’s mouth. Everything feels more intense with how Sebastian is still sucking lightly, like he’s trying to pull out every last drop of pleasure from in him. Even after Kurt is finished coming (which feels like it takes _forever_ ), Sebastian doesn’t let him go. His tongue continues to flick out in gentle kitten licks until Kurt has to tell him it’s too much for his oversensitive dick.

“ _How_ can it be too much?” Sebastian stretches up, leaning over Kurt’s body. “You’re a fucking werewolf. You’ve got freaky werewolf stamina, and I’m your _mate_. You should want to me to superglue my mouth to your dick, not push me away.”

Kurt giggles, his body buzzing all over. “Hee. Superglued to my dick.” He’s too blissed out to care how silly he sounds, how high pitched his giggles are.

Sebastian grins. “I wouldn’t mind,” he says, kissing his jaw and bumping his nose to the sensitive spot behind his ear as his hands start to tug Kurt’s underwear back up. “Just saying.” He zips up Kurt’s jeans, slips the button through its hole again and kisses Kurt softly on the mouth once before collapsing on to the bed beside him.

It’s not monumental, doing up Kurt’s pants for him, but it’s a caring gesture anyway and it makes Kurt – or his wolf, he’s not sure - feel a rush of affection for Sebastian. “Hey,” he says, cupping Sebastian’s cheek to tip his head up from where’s he’s trying to search the bed for his own underwear. “C’mere.”

He kisses him for a long few minutes, dragging Sebastian’s lower lip between his own, and slipping a foot between Sebastian’s legs until they’re slotted together once again. Sebastian is still completely naked, and Kurt can see his cock starting to fill again, curving up to his stomach.

Kurt expects him to do something about it but Sebastian only pulls Kurt closer with both arms around his waist and says, “I’m tired of waiting. Graduation is months away. Why don’t we just get our own place right now?”

The laugh bubbles out of him, much like the giggles from before. Sebastian looks confused and a little put off, but Kurt only presses a finger to a freckle on his nose and says, “Okay first of all - we aren’t getting _our own place_. Moving in with you? Recipe for disaster.” He knows the slip of words from _my place_ to _our_ must have been a mistake because of how Sebastian is surely thinking with his wolf and not his human, but he enjoys teasing him just the same. “Secondly, we can’t get our own places until we graduate because that would mean moving away.” Again, he pauses, eyes tracing Sebastian’s face. “I’m assuming you’re not staying in Westerville?”

They haven’t really discussed this part. The _where’s_ and _when’s_ of what they’re going to do after graduation.

“Mm,” Sebastian nods. “Didn’t think of that.”

“That’s why you have me,” Kurt says with a smug smile, rubbing the back of Sebastian’s neck. “Clearly I’m the brains in this alliance.”

“Oh, _alliance_ huh?” Sebastian says, nudging Kurt’s arm. 

Kurt ignores the tease, liking where the conversation had been going. He hooks a leg over Sebastian’s thigh, snuggles closer and asks, “Have you thought of what you want to do? After graduation I mean.”

It’s customary for werewolves to take a year off after high school to figure out what their plans are. Usually, it’s to give them time to decide if they want to remain in their birth pack or move to another place which would require negotiations and requests to join with the reigning packs in that territory. Most wolves don’t choose to leave, and if they want to start college, they do so in their hometowns.

Puck’s already decided college isn’t for him and he wants to get started on expanding his pool cleaning business, and Rachel has said she’s taking a year off to look deeper into her options in Ohio because she _really_ doesn’t want to leave Kurt’s pack, but her dreams of performing remain strong and she wants to make sure she’s making the right decision.

Kurt doesn’t mind. He’ll be heartbroken if Rachel leaves, but he’ll understand. He has his own dreams. Dreams of New York and fashion, but his love for his pack eclipses the desire to move too far from Ohio right now. He can’t dream of leaving them behind.

He’s not sure what Sebastian wants to do other than the knowledge that he hasn’t applied anywhere yet. He finds out though when Sebastian says, “I was thinking Columbus.”

“Oh?” Kurt raises his eyebrows.

“It’s only about 2 hours away so I could still come back for the moon and the weekends to train with Alyssa and Max when they need it,” Sebastian starts. “There are two packs in Columbus, both comparatively smaller to what ours is going to be.”

Kurt bites his lips and resists the urge to kick his feet happily at the thought of finally being able to call Sebastian pack, to share that with him. Sebastian smiles a little, like he knows exactly what Kurt’s thinking but, he continues talking without a change in tone.

“The rest of the wolves are all Omegas so I’m not really expecting anyone to have a problem with me. Most likely scenario is that they’ll try to submit to me in the hopes of a pack but - we’ll deal with that when it happens.”

“You’ve really thought this through, huh?” Kurt asks with a small grin.

“I’m not _completely_ brainless you know,” Sebastian says. “And uh - I was thinking of maybe starting at Ohio State in the spring.”

“Really?”

Sebastian nods. “I want to go to college. And I figured I could do my undergrad from Ohio, stay close to my pack until we’ve got used to the whole Alpha thing, and then we could maybe work something out so I could do my post-grad from somewhere else?”

“That sounds like a pretty good plan except…what if I want to go somewhere else for _my_ education?”

Sebastian blinks, his expression thoughtful like he hadn’t keyed Kurt into his plans. Kurt feels a little angry at him because it’s pretty selfish of Sebastian to not consider Kurt’s desires in his own plans. When he’d pictured himself having a mate, he’d imagined them discussing things together before making a conscious decision; he’d imagined his mate being sensitive to what he wanted and what was good for the pack.

Sebastian seems to pick up on Kurt’s shift of mood because he immediately asks, “Well have you thought about what you want to do? Because if you want to go somewhere for your education or travel or – whatever we’ll figure it out.”

“I was looking into Columbus too, actually.” Kurt says, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Sebastian’s neck.  “Not in as much detail as you have but - for the same reasons. It’s close to Lima but _not_ Lima you know?” Sebastian nods. “And I want to travel,” Kurt continues. “New York, definitely. Maybe for a week or so. Last year’s Nationals trip wasn’t enough.”

“At least you went to Nationals,” mutters Sebastian. Before Kurt can gloat over all the times they beat the Warblers, Sebastian asks, “What about college? OSU’s got some majors you might be interested in. _If_ you’re interested in college, that is.”

“Maybe,” Kurt says. “I want to make sure we’ve got the hang of being Alphas first you know? I’ve got time to think about the rest.”

“Well.” Sebastian’s lips stretch into a smirk, his hands slipping from the small of Kurt’s back to the swell of his ass. “I think we’ve got a pretty good hang of this Alpha stuff already.”

“Yes, because orgasms are top priority in How to be an Alpha 101.”

“They play a very important part in our mutual happiness.” 

Kurt shakes his head, fingers tracing over the contours of Sebastian’s face. “We’ll be fine, right?” he asks in a low voice. “Orgasms aside, we’re going to make this work?”

Sebastian’s expression sobers. “Yes,” he says, his voice filled with sincerity. “We’re going to make this work.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRYYYY this is so late. But RL got in the way. And you know what a bitch that can be. Anyway, with this part, my story is complete. It's been an amazing ride, and I couldn't have done it without all the wonderful people I mentioned in the author's note of part 1. Thank you for everyone who read the last part, and has been patiently waiting for the next. I hope this doesn't disappoint :)

**2012**

June

Graduation arrives far too slowly, and then passes faster than a blink of an eye. Kurt finds himself at the start of summer with a full moon looming over his head and a _very_ impatient wolf stirring inside of him. He and Sebastian are going to be stepping up as Alphas-in-command of their respective packs this month, and though Sebastian claims he’s been his own Alpha since he was eleven and his parents gave up shifting, this is the first time it’ll be official.

Kurt _can’t wait._

Sebastian apparently, hadn’t been able to wait either. As soon as he’d turned eighteen in October, he’d started looking for a house to move in to after graduation. His parents aren’t happy with his decision to stay in Ohio for college. Sebastian says he can understand why. He doesn’t agree with them, of course, but he can understand. His mom’s a PhD in particle physics, and his dad went to Harvard Law School. That they would expect him to follow what _their_ version academic success is, was obvious.

“But it’s not like you’re ditching college altogether,” Puck points out as they drive to Columbus the first weekend after school ends to see Sebastian’s newly purchased house. “You’re going to Ohio State.”

Sebastian grins. “That’s not good enough.”

Kurt doesn’t know if Sebastian is getting a kick out of going against his parents’ expectations or if he’s just excited about the upcoming moon. He can’t be too mad at his parents since his dad _did_ help put down the payment for the house and help with the official paperwork for the house, and his mom has offered to lend some of her interior designing skills to help redecorate the place despite their opinions on his life choices so far. But the bitterness of having to go almost a decade without his Alphas there to ease the pain of shifting is something that’s not going to fade soon.

There isn’t much work needed on the house except for an overall paint job, and some minor plumbing issues that need to be smoothed out. Once that’s done, Sebastian wastes no time in moving in. He throws a party the night he does, not that it can really constitute as a party. It’s just the four of them sitting on floor cushions in the still furniture-less living room making their way through five boxes of extra large pizza and drinking steadily from Sebastian’s newly stocked supply of booze.

“Why do you even have all of these?” Kurt asks, shifting around the bottles of Bacardi and Smirnoff lined up on the floor. “It’s not like we can get drunk.”

“I can try,” Sebastian shoots back, taking the bottle of dragon berry rum from Kurt’s hand and filling his glass back up. “Besides, I like the taste of the expensive stuff.” To prove his point, he takes a luxurious swing of his drink, tilting his head back to give Kurt a clear view of how his throat bobs.

Kurt’s still staring at him, completely enraptured, when Puck says, “You know I can _totally_ fake being drunk?”

“We know. You’ve given us more than enough demonstrations,” Rachel says with a roll of her eyes. She’s on her fourth glass now, mixing the contents of different bottles without glancing at their labels. If she were human, Kurt would have been very worried about her but as it is, werewolves can’t get drunk.

“You should be thankful that I’m as good as being drunk as the next guy, or else I’d have blown our cover years ago.”

“No one in their right mind is going to think you’re a werewolf if you don’t get drunk,” Sebastian says as he sets his glass on the floor and scoots back to lean against the wall. “They’ll just assume you’re good at holding your liquor.”

“I’m sure that’s the talent that laid the foundation for your popularity at Dalton,” Kurt teases.

“No, that would have been my dashing looks, my flawless voice, and the fact that I won every single lacrosse game since I joined the team.”

“You may have beat McKinley at lacrosse, but _we_ beat the Warblers to Nationals.” Rachel raises her glass, and lets out a triumphant, “ _Twice!_ ”

Kurt grins, watching the way Sebastian tries to brush off the loss with a casual shrug as Puck and Rachel clink glasses. “Whatever, Berry.” He stretches an arm around Kurt’s shoulder and pulls him against his side, tilting his head down to tease the skin behind his ear with the tip of his nose.

Little tingles of pleasure spread through Kurt’s body, the feeling strongest where Sebastian’s nuzzling him, but spreading all the way down to his wiggling toes. It makes him feel buzzy and happy, like he really _is_ tipsy.

“You wanna stay the night?” Sebastian asks, breath ghosting across Kurt’s skin and making a delicious little shiver run through his whole body.

Puck overhears the offer, and doesn’t even wait for Kurt’s grinning nod to start teasing them. “You boys are _so_ gonna bang tonight!” he declares, raising his glass in toast to them and subsequently getting alcohol all over the floor.

They do bang, so to speak. On every surface, in every room until they’ve exhausted themselves with more orgasms than a human would have ever had the stamina for.

“I can’t feel my legs,” Sebastian says after they collapse in the bedroom with their limbs heavy and sore.

Kurt brushes off the complaint and grabs Sebastian’s shoulders, dragging himself closer to him on the bed so he can tuck his face against the crook of his arm.

“No, seriously. I think I broke something fucking you against the wall.”

“You’re a werewolf,” Kurt says, eyes fluttering shut. “Whatever you broke will heal. Now ssh.”

He’s almost asleep when his cell phone glows to life on the nightstand. Kurt reaches over Sebastian’s sleeping form to answer it, his heart stopping when he sees his dad’s picture on the screen. Shit. He’d forgotten to tell him he wouldn’t be home. He answers the incoming call with a tentative, “Hi dad.”

“You planning on coming home tonight, kid?” The causal tone of his dad’s voice make the knots of tension in his stomach loosen a little.

“Um. No?” he tries, squeezing his eyes shut and hoping his dad’s response isn’t disapproval.

“Thought so,” Burt says, and _yes!_ He doesn’t sound angry. “Next time you plan on pulling a stunt like this, let your old man know beforehand okay? I’ve been trying to get in touch for hours.”

“Really?” Kurt bites his lip, imagining his phone buzzing on the nightstand while he blew Sebastian against the kitchen counter downstairs. “I’m sorry. It was on silent, I must have missed it.”

“Mmhm, sure,” Burt says, the teasing evident in his voice.

“Daaaad,” Kurt mumbles, turning his face into his pillow like it’ll curb his embarrassment.

Burt lets it go “You’re lucky I got in touch with Rachel and she told me you were still at Sebastian’s or else I’d be worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt repeats. And then, “Why are you up so late, anyway?”

“Carole and I were watching a marathon of Sandra Bullock movies” Burt says, sounding just the slightest bit grumpy.

“How fun for you.” Kurt threads his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, watching the content smile spread across his sleeping face.

“Yeah, yeah laugh it out buddy. You and Carole are sitting with me through my next monster truck marathon.”

“What about Finn?”

“Finn’s actually going to enjoy it, so he doesn’t count.” Burt punctuates the sentence with a long yawn, drawing one out of Kurt too. “Okay kid,” he says, “I’m gonna go call it a night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, dad. I love you.”

“Love you to, kiddo.”

“Everything ‘kay?” Sebastian mumbles, jolting awake again when Kurt shuffles around to replace his phone.

“Yeah, just my dad checking up on me. Go back to sleep,” Kurt says, pulling the covers over himself and closing his eyes. His hand finds Sebastian’s hair again, fingers playing with the soft strands. He smiles when he feels Sebastian turn his head to press a dry kiss to his wrist.

~*~

Kurt spends the majority of his time with Sebastian in the weeks leading up to the moon. At first, it’s with the pretense of helping him redecorate his house. But once that’s done, he keeps running out of reasons to hang around in Columbus as much as he does.

“You don’t need to give me flimsy excuses, Kurt,” his dad says with a knowing grin when Kurt tries to explain his frequent absence at home. “I know what’s going on.”

“I’m not – they’re not _excuses_ ,” Kurt says, feeling his cheeks warm with a blush. “And there is _nothing_ going on.”

“Yeah?” His dad grins, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter. “So you’re telling me you two _aren’t_ acting like smitten Alphas before their first moon together?” When Kurt only blushes a darker shade of red and stares at his feet, Burt says, “It’s natural for your wolf to want Sebastian close. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I just don’t want you thinking there’s something between us when there isn’t,” Kurt says a little more firmly than he’d intended to. “I’m his best friend. That’s it.”

“No it isn’t,” Burt says. “Look, I respect your decision to partner up with Sebastian or whatever you kids are calling it. I trust you’ll make it work. But don’t deny what you’re feeling, Kurt. It’s unhealthy. For you _and_ for the wolf. Sebastian’s your mate, and you’re going to need him and want him more than anything and anyone else in your life. He’s going to get under your skin and into your bones; he’s going to make you want to kill anyone who threatens him, even if that person is me. You know how scary that feels? Having a part of you so completely devoted to another person, _especially_ when that other person is _just a friend_ to your human?”

“I know,” Kurt says in a quiet voice. “It’s _terrifying_. But I don’t want to mess up what I’ve got with him. We’re not ready for a relationship, we don’t _want_ one and we’re happy with what we have so I’m trying to keep it like that. Uncomplicated.” He finishes off the sentence with a shrug, rubbing his sweaty palms along his thighs.

Burt’s quiet for a few seconds, long enough for Kurt to think he’s dropped the conversation and turned his attention to the TV, until he talks again. “Just remember one thing, okay? Remember that no matter how much you try to keep things uncomplicated, your relationship with Sebastian and your _wolf’s_ relationship with him is going to be doing something to you, to your heart whether you realize it or not. Don’t ever let something so important to you both end up hurting you.”

Kurt nods, fingers curling on his thighs. “I won’t, Dad.”

~*~

Sebastian’s watching him from the bed. Kurt can see his reflection in the mirror as he fixes his hair - arms folded under his head and face tilted to the side as he blinks sleepily in Kurt’s direction. He’d been asleep when Kurt had slipped out of bed earlier for a quick shower and a change of clothes, but despite his best efforts to move about the room as silently as possible, Sebastian has woken up.

“You’re not trying to sneak out, are you?” Sebastian asks, his voice deep and throaty like it always is in the mornings.

“Why would I do that?” Kurt says, pausing with his fingers threaded in his hair as he holds the strands in place. “I practically live here.” He lets go of his hair, watching it swoop in the exact way he’d intended. Kurt smiles as he turns around. “Shouldn’t you be used to boys sneaking out of your bedroom in the mornings?”

Sebastian grins. “Not when they share closet space and have their own toothbrush in my bathroom.”

The reminder warms Kurt down to the tips of his toes. It’s not just the toothbrush or the clothes; it’s the coffee maker in the kitchen that they chose together and the second hook on the key rack that’s his. It’s the left side of the bed and the right side of the couch. Its pieces of him scattered throughout the house, lacing his scent through the halls. No boy Sebastian has picked up from Scandals gets that kind of place in his life.

“I thought we weren’t going to be moving in together,” Sebastian continues, grinning as Kurt makes his way over to the bed, crawling to settle on his lap. “Recipe for disaster and all that jazz.”

“We’re not.” Kurt leans down to press a kiss to Sebastian’s chin. “I’m looking for a place of my own and when I find one, you’ll only see me here when I absolutely _must_ have you.”

Sebastian’s eyes seem to darken, tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “What if I told you I _absolutely must have you_ right now?”

“I’d say wait for the moon tonight,” Kurt replies with a grin, twisting his hips down to make the sheets covering Sebastian’s lower half slip and catch on his hardening cock.

“I can’t,” Sebastian says in a strained voice. His hands skim up Kurt’s arms to the sleeves of his undershirt, fingers slipping under the edge. “I want you _now_.”

“I have to leave right now.” Kurt trails the tip of his nose along Sebastian’s jaw, fingers skimming along his collarbone. “It’s my dad’s last day as Alpha-in-command.”

“So?”

“ _So_ I’d like to spend it with him.”

Sebastian pouts when Kurt starts to pull away, making an amusing enough sight for him to lean down and kiss his lower lip where it’s jutting out slightly. Sebastian’s lips pull up into a smile then, a hint of tongue wetting the seam of Kurt’s lips in a gentle plea to stay. Kurt feels the temptation dragging him down, quite literally as his body leans forward so their chests are pressing together.

“Sebastian.” Kurt starts to pull away again, turning his face to the side when Sebastian’s lips chase after him. “I have to go – no, I really have to go.”

The mattress bounces a bit as Sebastian flops down in defeat. “Fine.”

Kurt cups his face, rubbing a thumb along a cheekbone and watching the flutter of Sebastian’s eyelashes as his eyes slide shut. “I’ll see you tonight,” he says, moving to stand up.

Sebastian’s eyes are warm with affection when he opens them again, turning his head to watch Kurt pick up his cell phone from the nightstand. Kurt thinks he’s going to say ask him to stay again but Sebastian only says, “Yes you will.”

~*~

It’s a little past quarter to nine when Kurt pulls up in his driveway. The house is quiet with just his dad in it. Carole and Finn are in Cleveland visiting Carole’s brother and his newborn daughter, and they’d called last night to say they wouldn’t be back until late Sunday morning which means Kurt gets his dad to himself for the day.

He climbs the stairs with his ears strained for the _thump-thump_ of a pulse. From the pattern Kurt picks up on, his dad is awake. His dad’s room is dark when Kurt pushes the door open, only a thin strip of light visible from the gap in the curtains.

“Dad?” Kurt asks in a low voice. “You awake?”

“You say that like you don’t already know,” the smile is evident in his voice. Kurt moves to lie down on the bed next to him, curling against his side like he used to when he was a child. “How’s Sebastian?” his dad asks.

“Good,” Kurt replies. “Impatient for the moon, but then again, Sebastian’s impatient for most things.”

Burt’s quiet for a few minutes, the silence comfortable around them. When it finally breaks, it’s with Burt saying, “You’re going to be a great Alpha, Kurt. I know it.”

The moment feels charged with an emotion that Kurt can’t name. There’s the longing for his mom and the reminder of how strong Burt had been when she was no longer there to give his wolf the strength it needed from its partner; there’s the quiet anticipation of how Kurt and Sebastian are going to manage the pack; the sense of something important ending. It feels like this is the last chapter of a treasured book, and the blank page of its sequel waiting to be written.

“I’m never going to be as good an Alpha as you,” Kurt says quietly, blinking back tears.

“I wouldn’t be sure,” Burt says. “You’re amazing, kid. I know that, and the pack knows that. Your mom knew that too, and she would have been just as proud as to see you step up tonight as I’m going to be.”

Kurt turns his face into his dad’s shoulder, breathing deeply and trying to hold back his tears. “I love you, dad,” he says, curving an arm around Burt’s middle to hug him.

Burt’s arm is protective and warm when it stretches to wrap around his shoulder and pull him close. “I love you too, son.”

~*~

Sebastian looks angry when he arrives at the woods that night. He slams the door to his car shut, and starts to pull his shirt off without turning to greet the rest of the werewolves there. Once he’s rid of his shirt, he toes off his sandals and throws them into the backseat along with his jeans, leaving him in just a pair of dark boxer briefs.

“What’s up with your boy?” Puck asks Kurt with a frown.

“I...don’t know,” Kurt admits. He notices the rest of his pack watching Sebastian too, most of them curious, some of them looking offended at his rudeness. It’s a big night for all of them, and Sebastian’s doesn’t seem to have got off to a good start. “I’m gonna go check on him,” Kurt says as he pulls away from the circle of young wolves and starts towards Sebastian.

Sebastian doesn’t look up when Kurt arrives. He’s got his arms stretched out in front of him, hands pressed to the glass of his car windows, and head bowed. Under better circumstances, Kurt would have taken a moment to appreciate the way his muscles stand out like this, or how the Marks on his skin still haven’t faded, but the way Sebastian’s shoulders are heaving with his breaths right now only makes him worry.

“Hey,” he says, trying to keep his tone light. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Kurt reaches out to lay a hand on Sebastian’s arm. “Is it because I left you alone this morning? Because -”

“Get over yourself, Kurt. Not everything is about you.”

Embarrassment floods him with a flaming wave of anger. Kurt feels his cheeks heating up as he blushes, and his heart rate accelerating with the realization that his whole pack must have heard him say that.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Kurt snaps, pulling his hand away.

Sebastian is silent for a moment, head still bowed and body still tense until he says, “They’re not coming.”

“Who’s not – oh.” Kurt watches Sebastian’s shoulders finally sag like he’s just given up on something huge. Feeling his previous anger dissipate, Kurt steps closer and curves a hand around Sebastian’s arm again. “I’m sorry.”

“They said they’d come,” Sebastian says, his voice quivering. “I told them how important tonight was for me, for _us_ , and they promised they’d come.”

“What – what happened?” Kurt asks, not sure if he should be pressing for details when Sebastian is so clearly upset, but curiosity is burning his insides, and the anger is resurfacing. Only this time, it’s not directed towards Sebastian.

“They backed out. Mom backed out, and once Dad saw her, he refused too.” Sebastian shakes his head, giving a bark of bitter laughter. “She was always stronger than him. Even after they’d stopped shifting, I could always tell her wolf was still powerful. I just wish they could - just this once - argh!” he punches a dent into his brand new Aston Martin – funnily enough, a graduation present from his parents. The sudden outburst of rage in him seems to roll through his body, and Kurt presses himself closer, wrapping an arm around Sebastian’s shoulder to try and pacify him.

“You’ve got me,” he says. “You’ve got a pack now; your wolf won’t need anyone else.”

Sebastian straightens up, pushing Kurt’s arms away from his body. For a second, Kurt thinks it’s a sign of rejection, and Sebastian is going to call the whole thing off, but Sebastian says, “You’re right. Let’s do this.”

“You sound like you’re about to walk down the aisle,” Puck teases, approaching them with a grin on his face.

Sebastian manages to return the grin, already seeming more relaxed than he had been a moment ago. “Might as well be, Puckerman.” He winks at Kurt, nudging his shoulder against his. “You ready?”

Kurt feels his stomach swoop with excitement, and he nods, taking Sebastian’s outstretched hand and walking towards the rest of his pack.

“Okay listen up,” he says, taking turns to look at everyone there. His dad is silent tonight, Kurt already stepping in to the role of giving orders. “After we shift, and the – um – formalities are over with, our second-in-commands, Puck and Rachel, are going to be taking over for then night.” He tries not to blush at the thought of _why_. “Max, you stick with Rachel, and Alyssa, you’re supposed to be with Puck. Everyone else, I trust can take care of themselves?”

There are nods and smiles passed around, anticipation heavy in the air. Kurt gives them all five minutes to shift, waiting off to the side with Sebastian as the cracking sound of his pack shifting behind cars and trees echoes around them. The ones who had already stripped down to minimal clothing before shifting appear quicker with the rest of the wolves following one by one. Kurt and Sebastian are the last to shift after everyone is already present. Sebastian doesn’t even bother to take off his boxer briefs before he does, letting the fabric turn to shreds as he rips into his wolf body without preamble.

Once they’re all in their animals, Burt steps up to the front, moving to stand in front of Kurt and Sebastian. It’s poetic almost, with the moonlight slanting in through a gap in the trees and the pack formed into a semi circle behind him. His dad’s eyes are red for the last time, body still thrumming with quiet strength as he crouches low, baring the back of his neck for him.

When Kurt sinks his teeth into the fur at his dad’s neck, eyes slipping closed, he can feel the shift right down to his bones. He draws out the moment out, letting the rush of power swirl and settle in him. It feels like he’s been wearing shoes that were a size too small for him for the past nineteen years and he’s just slipped into a pair that fit him perfectly.

When he steps back, he can see the Alpha-red of his eyes now reflected in the golden eyes of his dad’s. It’s that detail more than anything else that makes the situation suddenly, startlingly real.

_Burt’s not the Alpha anymore._

~*~

Sebastian’s house is closer to the woods than Lima had been. Once they break away from their pack and shift back to their humans, Sebastian drives them home in less than fifteen minutes. Of course part of the reason that’s possible is because he pushes the speed limit as far as he can go without getting into trouble, but Kurt’s not complaining.

Impatience is bubbling up inside of him stronger than before, and he almost breaks Sebastian’s front door with how hard he slams it shut behind them. Neither of them notices the ear splitting _bam_ of it closing, too caught up in each other to care. They both smell of earth and sweat, but the thought of taking a shower doesn’t even cross Kurt’s mind. He wants to cling to this smell, not wash it away.

Wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s neck, he presses their foreheads together and draws him into a deep kiss. Sebastian’s hands grip the backs of Kurt’s thighs, lifting him up easily without breaking the kiss as he starts to walk them up the stairs. Kurt feels his back press against the door to Sebastian’s bedroom as Sebastian pushes it open, feels the bunched up comforter under his back as he’s lowered to the bed, and realizes that Sebastian hasn’t so much straightened his sheets since that morning. The bed still smells like them, and it makes the giddy warmth in Kurt’s belly stronger.

“Mmm,” he hums against Kurt’s mouth. “You taste better than usual for some reason.”

“That would be the moon,” Kurt says, turning his face to the side so Sebastian can kiss along his jaw. His stubble isn’t as pronounced after only an hour and a half of being in his wolf, but Sebastian seems to enjoy the light scratch of it on his tongue as he licks along Kurt’s skin.

Kurt doesn’t tell him, but Sebastian doesn’t just taste better than usual, he _feels_ better too. Kurt has seen him naked, and in the past six months they’ve had enough sex for Kurt to get acquainted with his body in a hundred different ways, but there is still something startling new about every touch right now.

It takes them longer than it should to get naked, the appeal of kissing keeping them locked together until the desire for _more_ claws through them and Kurt ends up ripping Sebastian t-shirt off his back. “Whoops,” he laughs against Sebastian’s lips, discarding the scrap of fabric over the edge of the bed and flipping their positions so he can pull Sebastian’s sweatpants down with more ease. 

Once they _are_ naked though, the desire to kiss gives way to the burning ache to mate again. Sebastian’s cock is flushed an angry shade of maroon, curving upwards to his stomach and making Kurt’s body throb with want as he slicks his fingers with lube and pushes them inside himself. There’s no resistance, his wolf already half in control of his body with how easily he opens up for his fingers, _knowing_ that his mate  is going to be in him soon.

Kurt’s fingered himself a couple of times before, all of them in the comfort of his bedroom when he was _sure_ no one was home. It’s never been one of his favorite masturbatory acts. He’s tried to make it so because he loved the idea of something filling him up, stretching him open until he felt like he’d burst with the fullness of it, but – it’s never quite worked, and he’s never asked Sebastian to do it to him knowing full well once they started, they’d want to keep going.

Tonight though, even with just two fingers thrusting in and out of him, Kurt feels his whole body shivering with pleasure. Maybe it’s because of the moon, or because he knows that his fingers only precede something much more satisfying, or maybe it’s the way Sebastian is looking at him as his hand works over his own cock; whatever it is, it’s making Kurt feel like every nerve in his body is on fire.

“So is this how we’re doing it?” Sebastian asks, and _oh god_ , his voice has gone all hoarse - eyes dark and lips parted as he stares at the movement of Kurt’s hand. “I’m going to fuck you?”

“For now,” Kurt replies, pulling his fingers out and wincing at the sudden emptyfeeling. He turns to brace his weight on all fours, looking over his shoulder at Sebastian who shuffles forward, hand still stroking his cock. “I’m fucking you after this.”

Sebastian’s hands grip Kurt’s waist and drag him back, fingers digging into his hipbones and lips pressing to his shoulder as he leans down to whisper, “That better be a promise.”

“You can bet it is,” Kurt replies, inhaling sharply as he feels Sebastian start to push into him. They’ve already discussed condoms and decided they don’t need them.  Werewolves can’t really catch STDs; they can’t even catch the common flu. The infection is flushed out of their bodies with how quickly they heal themselves, and the only injury that can kill them is irreparable damage to their heart. Besides, given how uncomfortable their wolves are with the idea of penetrating someone than their mate, Kurt doubts that they’re going to indulge in penetrative sex with anyone else.

The lack of condom though, means Sebastian is all hot, slick skin pressing into him. The thickness of him, the stretch of his skin as Sebastian continues to slide in deeper, and the feeling of being filled is everything Kurt has been craving these past months. The pleasure is mind numbing, spreading through his whole body and making him bite his lip to contain his moans. Once Sebastian is all the way in, he pauses, his forehead dipping down to press against Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt can feel his breaths, hot on his skin as he pants against him.

“Are you feeling as good as I’m feeling?” he asks.

“Definitely.” Kurt gasps a little when Sebastian starts to pull back out, his cock brushing against his prostate and sending a jolt of violent pleasure through him as he thrusts back in. “Fuck,” Kurt swears, bunching the sheets under one hand and reaching back to press against the back of Sebastian’s thigh with his other. “Do that again.”

Sebastian’s thrusts are shaky, uneven. Kurt’s cock slides along the sheets beneath him as his body is pushed forward with every single one, the smooth cotton catching the sensitive head and making the ache building inside of him heighten. Kurt grinds against the bed, trying to find the friction he so desperately wants, and when it doesn’t work, he reaches down to jerk himself off with quick, messy strokes of his hand. Sebastian’s panting in his ears, snapping his hips forward harder and faster, like he’s being stripped of every ounce of self control in him. His hands are gripping Kurt’s hips so tightly; Kurt’s sure there will be bruises on his skin later, bruises that won’t heal because they’ll be the result of another Alpha’s hands on him. The thought makes a shiver run through his body, his hand speeding up on his cock, thumb rubbing desperately along the head.

“I wanna come,” he practically whines when his orgasm still stays achingly, frustratingly out of reach. “I wanna come so badly. Make me come, Sebastian.” 

Even to his ears, the last part sounds undeniably like a demand. Sebastian bites at his shoulder, pushing Kurt’s hand away from his cock to replace it with his own. Kurt moans, pushing his ass back against Sebastian’s cock as Sebastian starts to stroke him. His fingers are just slightly longer than Kurt’s, and his grip is firmer. Just thinking of the fact that its _Sebastian’s_ hand on him, and not his own makes Kurt’s body flash hotter. Six months of getting used to Sebastian’s hands on him skin, and it still makes Kurt feel as thrilled and turned on as it had the first time.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” he gasps, his voice embarrassingly high as his muscles start to tighten, little jolts of pleasure running up the length of his body and pushing him closer to the edge. He’s _so_ close, and he’s so sensitive all over, he doesn’t know what feeling to concentrate on – the feeling of Sebastian’s mouth hot and wet on his neck, biting, sucking, _marking_ him, the sharp thrusts that are rocking his whole body, the hard press of Sebastian’s hand still gripping his hip, or the hand that is stroking deliciously over his cock.

It’s a combination of all four sensations that finally tips him over the edge. The pleasure is so intense, he can’t even bring himself to make a single sound. He barely hears Sebastian’s warning of “I’m gonna come,” before he feels Sebastian’s body start to quiver behind him, and his come fill him up, hot and sticky. Sebastian plasters his chest along Kurt’s back, little broken moans falling through his lips. It’s only then that Kurt feels the swollen base of Sebastian’s knot pressing against him.

He shudders, a fresh wave of arousal cresting through him. “Is that -”

“Yeah,” Sebastian answers in a shaky voice, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want it in you.”

Kurt grinds his ass back against it, wishing he could turn around and see for himself. He’s heard of knotting, he’s learned the _why_ ’s of it from his dad, but he’s never seen what it looks like. He’d been so lost to Sebastian fucking him; he hadn’t noticed that Sebastian’s balls weren’t the only thing pressing against his ass after every thrust.

“Not yet,” Kurt says. “I won’t be able to fuck you then.”

If Sebastian had pushed into him _all the way_ , then he wouldn’t have been able to pull out until his wolf was finished coming as much as it was capable of.

Sebastian places a tender kiss on Kurt’s flushed cheek. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Kurt’s already hard by the time they switch positions. Unlike every other time they’ve had sex, the oversensitivity in his body doesn’t make him want to stop, it makes him want to keep fucking. Sebastian is even more impatient with Kurt fingering him than he had been when Kurt had been fingering himself. He thumps his fist against the bed, an almost animalistic growl ripping through his throat when Kurt finally sinks into him with one, deep thrust.

“Finally,” he says, and Kurt can’t help but smile.

“Patience was never your strongest point,” Kurt says. But his words lose some of the snark he’d intended because his head is swimming with hazy pleasure. He feels the overwhelming urge to snap his hips back and fuck Sebastian until his body is shaking as hard as Kurt’s had been, but he manages to reign in his animal’s urges. Turning Sebastian’s face with a hand to his chin, Kurt leans down to kiss him first.

It’s messy; Sebastian uses too much tongue, and his teeth sink into Kurt’s lower lip, tugging insistently. Kurt takes the hint and moves back, looking down between their bodies to where his cock is starting to thrust steadily into Sebastian. Kurt thinks briefly of using another position, of maybe getting Sebastian on to his back, or on his side, getting him to lie flat on his stomach, or better yet – to ride him. But he stays as he is for two reasons.

One, he can’t find the strength to pull away from Sebastian once he’s started fucking him in earnest, and two, it’s going to be easier to keep his knot from accidentally slipping in this way in case Sebastian doesn’t want to take it. But when Kurt asks him, just to be sure, whether he wants to keep fucking as they are, or if he wants Kurt to push _all_ the way in, Sebastian says, “I want all of you.”

So when Kurt knots, and feels the desire to push himself into Sebastian and stay there, he does. He hears Sebastian hiss in slight pain as Kurt’s knot stretches him before it finally slips inside. Kurt arches his back and presses his forehead between Sebastian’s shoulder blades. “How does it feel?” he asks Sebastian, his voice barely a whisper.

“ _Perfect_.”

That’s pretty much the only thing Kurt can come up with too. Every part of him is too overwhelmed to think properly, and the closeness of their position, the possessiveness and safety his wolf feels renders him speechless. They’re mating. In the proper sense of the word, in a way their wolves understand. In the wild, wolves mate to reproduce, but for werewolves, their humans draw from the act as much as the wolf does. It’s not about breeding, it’s not about wanting a child as a result of it, it’s about the strength that comes from being this close to someone you know will never leave you. Mating is an act of lifetime bonding. Kurt’s always wondered who he would end up tying himself to for the rest of his life, and the notion had been just as terrifying as it been romantic. But with Sebastian underneath him, around him like he is right now, it feels neither terrifying nor romantic.

It just feels _right_.

~*~

**September**

“Kurt, we need to talk!”

Sebastian stops ten steps into the living room when Kurt holds up a hand, motioning for him to be quiet and pressing his cell phone harder against his ear. “Absolutely. No, that won’t be a problem.”

“Do you know about Abbey Puckerman?”

Kurt glares at Sebastian, turning his back to him as he speaks into the phone again. “Thank you _so_ much. Yes, I understand. I will. Thank you.” Kurt clicks off the call and isn’t allowed a single breath before Sebastian is in his face, his features pulled taut with anger. “Could you not tell I was _busy_?” Kurt snaps.

“Abbey Puckerman. Ring a bell?”

Kurt blinks. “W-what, yeah of course. Puck’s little sister. What happened?”

“She came to see me today,” Sebastian says, crossing his arms over his chest. “She said she’s been trying to persuade Burt to give her the Bite for years and he refused so she tried speaking to you multiple times since June, but you said no, too.”

Kurt’s brain is slow in catching up with the conversation, “Wait. So – yeah. I said no, _why are you so angry_?”

“Because this girl _wants the Bite_! She wants to be your pack, she’s wanted to be a werewolf for years and you won’t give her that!”

“Sebastian,” Kurt touches his arm and guides him to the couch, sitting him down and giving him a few seconds to just breathe. “I know you feel really strongly about the pack, but you can’t go handing out the Bite to everyone who asks for it. The next thing you know, you’ll have Brittany asking you to bite her so she can turn into a unicorn on the full moon.”

“Brittany – who?” Sebastian looks caught off guard for a second.

“The blonde cheerleader in Glee Club? The one who asked you if you were supplying her cat cigarettes in junior year.”

He sees recognition flash on Sebastian’s features, amusement quickly replaced by irritation. “Well Abbey’s not Brittany. She’s practically family. Her brother is a wolf and her dad was probably a wolf. It’s not fair that she gets denied the gene when she wants it!”

“There’s always a fifty percent chance the child is going to be human if only one of the parent’s is a werewolf,” Kurt says, pressing his fingers to his temple. “A lot of people with a werewolf parent end up being born without the gene.”

“But she _wants_ the Bite!” Sebastian exclaims. “And you’re _crazy_ for denying her. Do you have any idea how powerful she can be with that kind of enthusiasm and dedication to the wolf?”

“And have you considered how she might not be able to learn how to control it this far along in the game? She’s fifteen Sebastian, do you really want her to end up stuck with an animal raging inside of her for the rest of her life? Have you thought of how she could lose control and end up killing people? And as a result threaten the safety of this pack?”

Sebastian looks furious, but also a little defeated. Kurt can see it in his eyes. “Is this your policy then?” Sebastian asks, his tone bitter. “Stick with born wolves until they all die out and refuse to let anyone new into the pack?”

“I let you in,” Kurt says, poking Sebastian’s forearm with a grin.

Sebastian cuts him off with a grumpy, “Stop it.”

Kurt sighs and watches his face for a few seconds, the shifting emotion there. “You really want to do this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Sebastian says, not looking at him but staring at his hands instead. “I _know_ we won’t regret it. And we could use someone energetic like her. Alyssa is smart enough, but Max is as dumb as a rock.”

“That not fair.”

“Well he is! And we don’t know whether we’ll still have Rachel with us next year or not .The adults are all inactive, and definitely not strong enough. Burt, Leroy and Alyssa’s mom are the only ones who take part in pack activities anymore. We _need_ fresh blood.”

“ _Blood_ is exactly what I’m scared of,” Kurt says, watching the way Sebastian’s jaw tightens with further disappointment. “But - if you’re sure that you can train her, and keep her under control then I guess I could get behind this.”

Sebastian head snaps towards him, eyes wide. “Really?”

Kurt shrugs, trying to hide a smile at the almost childish excitement on Sebastian’s face, like Kurt’s just given him permission to raid a candy store.

“Fuck,” Sebastian breathes out, and he’s grabbing Kurt’s face with rough palms, pulling him in for a kiss before he can say anything. “Thank you.”

He swoops in for another kiss just as Kurt’s eyes fall on his cell phone lying on the coffee table. It reminds him he has something to ask, too. Gently pushing at Sebastian’s shoulder, Kurt pulls himself away from Sebastian’s insistent kisses. “I have to tell you something,” he says. Sebastian waits, eyebrows raised and expression the slightest bit impatient like he wants to go back to the kissing as soon as possible. Kurt inhales deeply and says, “I just got a phone call from Vogue dot com and -”

“Let me guess, you finally got that internship in New York?”

The breath rushes out of him all at once. “I - what – how do you _know_ about that?”

“You left your email open on my laptop after you spent the night a couple of weeks ago. I saw the application.”

“Why did you never say anything?”

“Because you didn’t either.”

“But you’re – you’re okay with it?” Kurt asks, trying desperately to come to terms with the fact that Sebastian _already knows_. He’s been worrying himself sick since he sent his application, trying to find the right opportunity, the right way to tell him - and Sebastian _knows_.

“I mean, I’m not _opposed_ to it.”

“Buuuut...” Kurt presses.

“But. I don’t know. Its five months, right? And -” Sebastian shifts, looking a little uncomfortable but trying to mask it with a cocky grin. “I’ll miss your dick.”

“My -” Kurt breaks off, laughing at how _Sebastian_ a thing it is to say that. “For the record, I’ll probably miss yours too - every moon. But we can manage, can’t we? I mean. We’ve got more control than that.”

“If you say so.”

Kurt’s heart is racing, hope bubbling up inside of him stronger than before. “You’re really okay with it? Me being gone for five months?”

“Kurt, I’m capable of being left on my own, you know.”

“Yeah I know but I’m just thinking about -”

“The pack?”

“Well, there’s Alyssa and Max, and now you’re thinking of adding a fresh werewolf to the mix. I don’t know if you can manage -”

“A little more confidence wouldn’t hurt,” Sebastian says in a clipped voice.

“No – no. It’s not. I’m not saying I don’t trust that you can do it. I just feel like I’m turning my back on things I should be doing too, and it feels a little selfish.”

That’s what he’d told himself when he’d first seen the ad for the internship - that it would be selfish to apply when he had duties to his pack first. The desire to apply anyway had won over, and he’d sent in his application without telling anyone. He’s barely been in command a few months. Leaving for five months is not the sort of decision he should be making right now and he _knows_ that. But Sebastian is making him feel hopeful again, making the guilt slip away, and above all - making _sense_.

“We’re going to have to be selfish at some point if we keep living here,” he says. “We can hardly make our life revolve around this lame town.”

“This _lame town_ is home,” Kurt says, even though he silently agrees with his words. “It’s our territory.”

“Yeah, well I hope to leave it from time to time to clear my head. I might be staying here for my undergrad, but I’ve told you before that I’m going to be moving somewhere else for my master’s degree. Maybe it’ll be New York, maybe it’ll be Paris. I don’t know. My point is – your going to New York for a few months is hardly going to be selfish when I’m planning on making a few trips myself.”

Questions still flitting in his head, Kurt says, “Well I don’t know if I’ll be moving at all - they’ve only cleared me through stage one. I still have to pass an interview before I get the internship for sure.”

“Kurt” Sebastian shifts closer to him on the couch, reaching up to curve his hand to Kurt’s cheek. “You wear the most uniquely ridiculous over the top clothes I have ever seen and I don’t think there is a single person in the world that can mimic your horrific sense of style to look like a bigger cartoon than you do.”

“Thanks,” Kurt says shortly, ignoring the soothing tingle of Sebastian’s thumb stroking along a cheekbone.

Sebastian’s smile is genuine, all dimples and crinkly eyes. “You’re going to get that internship. And if they don’t give it to you, they’re blind assholes.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, managing a thankful smile in return and leaning in to the warm touch of Sebastian’s hand. He hopes Sebastian is right. Those five months of his internship may be the closest he’ll ever get to living in New York City.

~*~

His dad says he’s proud, Rachel confesses she’s jealous but _so excited_ for him, and Puck tells him he can go to Switzerland for all he cares, he’s just glad that Sebastian was able to knock sense into him regarding Abbey.

Kurt doesn’t have much time to prepare for his departure. He’d got the call on Saturday, and his interview is Monday morning, so he spends Sunday packing a small suitcase with essentials and arranging his remaining stuff into boxes that his dad can send him later – _if_ he ends up staying, that is. The thought of coming back home and reopening all the boxes makes his stomach sink.

“Would you stop worrying?” Sebastian says. He’s sitting on Kurt’s bed, watching him stack the last of the labelled boxes in the corner of his room. “Worst comes to worse, at least you’ll have less organizing to do when you move out.”

Kurt walks back to his bed, his room looking oddly empty now with the majority of his stuff packed off in boxes, the shelves bare, and his dressing table cleared of the products that are usually arranged there. As he sits down next to Sebastian, he realizes how little time he’s spent here for the last couple of months. He still hasn’t found a place to live yet, but he might as well have moved in with Sebastian for the time being given how much time he spends at his house in Columbus.

“I’m going to miss you,” he says quietly, pressing his thigh against Sebastian’s and turning his head to look him in the eyes.

Sebastian doesn’t reply. Instead, he cups Kurt’s face and draws him into a kiss. The slide of his lips against Kurt’s calms him down a bit and he leans in closer, arms wrapping around Sebastian’s middle.

“Kurt!” Puck’s voice calls out from downstairs. “Pizza!”

They break apart, Kurt’s fingers pressed to the small of Sebastian’s back and their noses nudging each other. “Coming!” Kurt calls back, but less than a second later he hears Rachel shout, “Hurry up!”

“I have never met anyone more impatient than Rachel Berry,” Sebastian says as they stand.

“I have,” Kurt says, turning back at the door to grin at Sebastian. “You.”

His dad, Carole, Finn, Puck, Abbey, and Rachel are all gathered in the kitchen when they enter, the air heavy with the smell of pizza, fresh garlic bread, and Carole’s lasagne. Kurt sits down next to his dad and grabs himself a slice of pizza. Sebastian moves to sit next to Abbey, who immediately starts asking him when he’ll give her the Bite.

Kurt smiles at them, at the way Sebastian’s expression softens as he talks to her, and the laugh that lights up his whole face. He likes her, and Kurt suspects a lot of it has to do with how she’s going to be the first person to look up to him as an Alpha before anyone else. It’s the sort of affection and validation Sebastian’s always craved.

The conversation turns to Kurt minutes later, about the hotel he’s going to be staying at, and what time his interview is. It makes Kurt queasy thinking about it all, but he answers everyone’s pressing questions as best as he can. His dad and Sebastian are the only ones who are silent. Maybe it’s because they can see through his confident smile. When Carole brings out dessert and everyone gravitates towards her, Burt turns to him and says, “New York’s gonna love you, kid.”

Kurt smiles and leans his head on to his dad’s shoulder. “Thanks, dad.”

Sebastian’s driving him to the airport. Burt had offered but in the end had backed down when Sebastian had insisted it be him. He waits in the car, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as Kurt says his goodbyes. Rachel clings to him the longest and Puck surprises him with a smacking kiss to his lips that makes him laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me, man,” he says, his eyes teary. “I’m gonna miss you.”

Kurt still laughs, pulling Puck into another hug, and rubbing the back of his neck as subtly as he can. “You’ll have Sebastian,” he says. “And you’ll be busy with Abbey. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You’re going to visit, right?” Finn asks. “Thanksgiving and Christmas?”

“He wouldn’t miss my holiday cooking for anything, would you Kurt?” Carole asks, kissing his cheek softly.

“I wouldn’t,” Kurt agrees.

His dad is last, standing near the car and away from the rest of them. Kurt hugs him tightly, feeling his heartbeat against his own, and his senses filled with the smell he’s associated with safety and comfort for so long.

“Have a safe flight,” Burt says when they break apart. His face is composed, and his voice is firm.

Kurt feels a swell of love for him. He means to say, _thank you_ and _take care_ but what he ends up saying is, “I get my strength from you.”

His dad nods, a tight smile on his face as Kurt gets in the car, and Sebastian pulls away. They drive in silence, the radio the only sound between. Kurt can sense Sebastian’s pulse picking up the closer they get to the airport, but when he looks over at the driver’s seat, Sebastian’s face is just as composed as Burt’s had been. He shifts gears almost mechanically, not taking his eyes off the road even when he says, “I know you’re staring at me.”

Kurt doesn’t look away. “You’ve got an interesting face.”

“So I’ve been told,” Sebastian says, his lips quirking up just the slightest. Kurt settles back against his seat and closes his eyes, trying to keep his nerves under check until he feels the car slowing down, and Sebastian saying, “Well, this is it.”

Kurt opens his eyes to see a family of four taking their luggage out of a car in front of them. “Yup,” he says. “This is it.”

“I’ll get your suitcase.” Sebastian’s out of the car in the flash of an eye, like he’d been waiting for the opportunity. He avoids looking at Kurt when he takes the suitcase from him, and pushes his hands into his pockets, looking around at the bustling airport with feigned interest.

“I’ll um, call you when I get there,” Kurt says, fingers curling tight around the handle of his carry on.  “And after the interview.”

Sebastian finally looks at him. “Great.”

Kurt leans forward and wraps his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders, tucking his face into the crook of his neck. Sebastian seems to relax then, his hands fitting themselves to Kurt’s waist, and nose skimming the top of his head as he inhales deeply. It’s easy to pretend they’re the only one’s there when Kurt closes his eyes.

“Take care of them, okay?” Kurt says, lips brushing the side of Sebastian’s throat. “I’m trusting you with my pack.”

“They’re my pack too, now.”

Kurt smiles. “Right, yeah. I keep forgetting that bit.”

“I won’t let you forget.”

They start to pull away, but Kurt barely moves back an inch before the hands on his waist are cupping his face, and Sebastian is suddenly dragging him into a kiss. It knocks the breath out of him, the longing that is in the single press of their mouths. Kurt expects the kiss to be short – they are, after all, in Ohio - but Sebastian only deepens it; licking into his mouth and stroking his tongue against his.

When they finally break apart, Sebastian’s eyes are the color of rubies. Kurt would worry, but they’re shielded by the semi darkness they’re standing in, and by the fact that Sebastian’s eyes are lowered, forehead pressed to Kurt’s.

“I’m going to be late if I don’t go right now.”

Sebastian kisses him again, just a single, lingering kiss, and then steps back. They don’t need to say anything else. Everything was said in that kiss. Kurt looks back once before he goes inside and waves, Sebastian’s smile a little sad as he nods at him.

~*~

Kurt gets the internship.

He calls Sebastian the second he leaves the building, his voice shaking with excitement, and his face feeling like it’ll split in two from grinning so hard.

“I told you you’d get it,” Sebastian says. “ _I told you_.”

“I need to find a place to live now,” Kurt says, twisting his body as he navigates through the thick crowds on the sidewalks. “Oh my god. I have a week before my internship starts. _How am I going to find a place to live on such short notice_?!”

As it turns out, finding a place to live isn’t too hard. Isabelle recommends him to a friend who is looking to rent out his loft when she finds out Kurt needs a place to stay. The loft is in Bushwick, in his budget, and large enough for Kurt to ride a bicycle around it comfortably. Kurt silently notes the advantages of the space for his wolf. New York is a little too crowded and polluted for his wolf’s taste, but the loft is open and airy, perfect to shift in during the moons.

The first thing he does is get himself an internet connection so he can use Skype.

“You have wifi before you have a bed,” Sebastian points out during their first call. “I’m flattered you value my face that much.”

“It’s not your face, it’s everyone’s,” Kurt says with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve got a cyber date with Rachel in an hour.”

“I bet you Puck is going to be there too,” Sebastian says. “He’s been _insufferable_ since you left. Are you sure he’s not gay? I think the guy is in love with you. Bella Swan wasn’t as broken up about Edward leaving as he is about you.”

Kurt’s laugh echoes around the empty apartment. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Not really,” Sebastian says. “I do think he’s in love with you.”

“He loves me, but I doubt he’s _in love_ with me. There’s a difference.”

“I’m aware.”

“I’m sure he’d miss you just as much if you were to leave. He is, after all, you’re second-in-command.”

“Rachel is yours, but you don’t see her crying her way through a hundred tissue boxes a day.”

“She calls to check up on me after every hour.”

“Is there crying involved?”

“Not really.”

“Then Puck wins.”

Kurt shakes his head. “You’re just jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous? I’ve got Abbey.”

“How is she by the way?” Kurt asks, picking up the last slice of Dominos from the box. “Is her body accepting the Bite?”

“It’s only been sixteen hours,” Sebastian says. “So far she seems to be doing pretty good. She’s in pain, but she says staying around me helps.”

“Well obviously. You’re her Alpha.” Sebastian smiles, looking proud of himself. Kurt remembers the expression from when they were kids and Sebastian would show up to his house with new tricks to show off.  “Is she staying with you?” he asks.

Sebastian nods. “For a couple of days. I think Puck said he’d come over tonight, but he’s been with Rachel all day and I haven’t heard from him yet. I can handle her on my own, though.”

As if on cue, Kurt hears a voice in the background call out Sebastian’s name and Sebastian looks up, the image of him blurring on the screen as he moves around. “Up here, Abbey!” he shouts.

There’s the sound of a door opening and then Abbey asking, “Are you talking to Kurt?” before the video stream starts to shake as she climbs on to the bed. Once she’s laid down next to him, her head on his shoulder and the laptop balanced on Sebastian’s knees, Kurt can see them clearly. Abbey looks tired, but other than that, there is no visible sign of sickness.

“Hey, Kurt,” she says, giving him a small wave. “How’s New York?”

“Smelly,” Kurt replies with a grin. “How are _you_?”

“Sleepy.” She yawns as if to prove a point, turning her face into Sebastian’s neck as her eyes close. “Do you mind if I just...” she doesn’t finish her sentence, and it takes one look at the smile on Sebastian’s face to figure out she’s fallen asleep.

“Cute,” Kurt comments when he sees Sebastian reach up and gently brush her hair out of her face, tucking the loose strands behind her ear.

“Yeah, she’s been doing that a lot.”

“Sleeping?”

“Snuggling,” Sebastian corrects. “Snuggling with me to be more specific.” He looks so proud of himself, it’s _adorable_. Kurt feels a wave of sadness with the realization that he can’t press a kiss to the corner of Sebastian’s smile, or tuck himself against his side like Abbey has. Sebastian frowns, probably catching something in his expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kurt says quickly. “I just miss you guys. It’s kind of lonely here at the moment.”

“But I’m here,” Sebastian says. “Talk to me.”

“I _am_ talking to you,” Kurt says with a short laugh.

“No, like. _Talk_ to me. Tell me about New York, and the hot guys at Vogue dot com and how great the bagels are there. Bore me with all your rambling until it’s time for you to bore Rachel.”

Kurt smiles, stretching his legs out in front of him and leans his head back against the wall. “Okay, so...”

~*~

There’s an itch under Kurt’s skin that starts up a few days to the full moon; an impatience and irrational irritability that he knows is his wolf’s craving for Sebastian. But New York is miles away from where Sebastian is and Kurt is going to have to get used to spending the full moon without him if he wants to finish this internship without disappearing mysteriously once every month.

It would be a horrible cliché.

This is the first moon they’ll be apart since they mated, and they’d joked about _needing_ the freedom of being away from each other before he left Ohio, but right now Kurt wants to pack his bags and go _home_. Not to his loft in Bushwick that’s he’s started calling home but - _home_. To Sebastian, to his pack.

Instead of moping around his loft, Kurt throws together his best outfit and heads to work, determined not to let his wolf get in the way of what has been one of the best months in his life. The people he works with are all human, smiling and frowning and dropping _are you feeling alright?_ ’s along with their _good morning_ ’s. Kurt smiles back, and assures them he’s fine.

Isabelle doesn’t buy his excuses though and with the caring affection of an older sister, tells Kurt he can go home after lunch if he needs rest. Kurt insists on staying. Going back to his loft means turning his full attention to the demands of the wolf and fighting the urge to cave into them. He works until his eyes hurt from looking at computer screens and his ears ache from taking phone call after phone call. But he stays.

He knows he and Sebastian have agreed to absolutely no contact before or after the moon in order to get their wolves used to the idea of being apart, but Kurt’s just _waiting_ for one of them to crack. He hopes its Sebastian who calls first.

It is.

Kurt locks himself in the small office he works from and slides into his chair when Sebastian’s name flashes on his cell phone screen.

“Do you think I would be a horrible Alpha if I left this month’s full moon up to Rachel and Puck and came to see you?” Sebastian says in lieu of a greeting.

Kurt smiles and tips his head back against his seat. “Yes,” he says. “You would be.”

“Because - fuck I can’t believe I’m saying this but - I _need_ you here. Or I need to be _there_. I can’t take this Kurt. It was never supposed to be this hard.”

“It wasn’t,” Kurt agrees. “And you have no idea how much I want you here too, but - it wouldn’t be right. It would be unfair and selfish for both of us to leave the pack on the moon.”

“Our second in commands will be there!”

“It’s not going to be the same,” Kurt says. “You know that. You have Abbey to look after – it’s her first moon, and Max still isn’t strong enough to shift on his own.”

“But what if they agreed to it? What if I spoke to Burt and had him help out too? Abbey respects him, and you would not _believe_ how strong she is. She’ll manage.”

It would be so much easier for Kurt to go back home instead of force Sebastian out here, it wouldn’t disrupt the pack as much. But they’re filming the music video he proposed to Isabelle a week ago and he’s been invited to set on Thursday. The full moon’s on Wednesday. There’s a slim chance of Kurt getting to Ohio and back without exhausting himself too much to go to work - especially after the full moon.

But the possibility of having Sebastian with him wins over the guilt of already leaving his pack and wanting at least one Alpha to be there on the moon. He finds himself saying, “Alright. Talk to them,” even though he knows the answer everyone will give Sebastian will be a _yes, go ahead._

Trying not to get too excited, Kurt says he has work to do and will talk to Sebastian later but the anticipation is palpable even over the phone, the _I can’t wait to see you_ hanging heavy in the static between them.

~*~

Kurt’s making breakfast when he senses Sebastian at the foot of his building. His scent is strong over the day to day smells Kurt has become accustomed to in New York. Kurt leaves his eggs uncooked and stumbles over his own feet without the grace he usually commands to get to the door before Sebastian has finished climbing the stairs up to his floor.

Once it’s open, there’s nothing left between him and Sebastian except the sense of _relief_. Kurt gets a brief glimpse of a dark blue sweater that goes wonderfully with Sebastian’s eyes (and, with a flood of warmth, that Kurt realizes he bought for him) before he’s pulling him into a hug, before the door is finished sliding all the way open, before either of them can say anything. Their hands scramble to touch each other, wrapping around shoulders and waists and squeezing as they throw their bodies into the embrace.

This is what Kurt’s been craving. The scent and the solidity of his mate next to him. The mere act of turning his face into Sebastian’s neck and pressing a kiss to his skin makes his bones relax with the familiarity and safety of it all.

 “Hi,” he says after a long few minutes of hugging.

Sebastian’s arms are curved tight around Kurt’s body. He doesn’t reply, just squeezes Kurt closer and gives a small lick to the side of Kurt’s neck.

“Ew!” Kurt laughs, squirming away. “You are such a dog sometimes, Sebastian.”

“I wanted to taste you,” Sebastian says in such an earnest voice that Kurt can’t bring himself to feel grossed out. Not when his wolf understands the need completely.

They break apart and Sebastian moves into Kurt’s loft, giving Kurt a chance to really look at him for the first time. His hair is longer, his stubble dark, and Kurt knows without having to ask that Sebastian has been shifting a lot since he left.

“Do we fuck now or are there formalities to complete first?” Sebastian asks, standing in the middle of Kurt’s loft with his hands on his hips and an eyebrow cocked up.

Kurt laughs and shakes his head. “I have to go to work,” he says feeling a little regretful at the sight of Sebastian’s muscles straining under his shirt and his delicious scent filling his senses. “I’ll be back by six.”

“And what, I just jerk off until then?”

“You know this isn’t just about sex,” Kurt says as he starts to gather his things for work. There’s no time left for breakfast, he’ll have to grab a bagel on the way. “Go bury your nose in my pillow or something and soak up my scent all you want.”

Sebastian does not look amused, but Kurt giggles anyway. Once he’s got his bag slung over his shoulder and his shoelaces tied, he walks over to Sebastian who is looking around his loft with interest and cups his face. The stubble scratches his palms, but Kurt loves the feeling. “Shave before I get home,” he says, rubbing his fingers along Sebastian’s chin. “It’s a bitch when it comes to blowjobs.”

“Would you like me to cut my hair too?” Sebastian asks, words dripping with sarcasm.

“The hair I like,” Kurt says, stretching an arm back to play with the long strands. “Just shave this off and we’ll be good to go.”

“If you’re making me shave, then I’m making you spend every second in this loft naked tonight.”

Kurt cocks his head to the sign, pretending to think it through. He smiles after a moment, darting in for a quick kiss, feeling too happy for any snark. “Fine. You’ll have me in the nude for as long as you want.”

Sebastian’s grin is blinding. He dips down to kiss Kurt, his lips soft but pressing hard against his mouth and Kurt rolls his tongue out to get a little taste for himself. He has to pull away before the wolf stirring inside of him gets too strong. “I have to go, I have to go,” he says, more for his benefit than Sebastian’s as he pulls himself out of the embrace.

“This is why we need werewolf recognition in politics,” Sebastian says as Kurt heads towards the door. “There should be laws letting wolves off from working on the full moon.”

Kurt stops at the door and looks back, smiling as he takes in the sight of Sebastian framed against his loft. His wolf feels giddy just looking at him. “Keep your voice down,” he says. “I don’t want my neighbours to think I’m crazy.”

“You’re wearing a _hippo brooch_ Kurt, you _are_ crazy.”

Kurt blames the urge to say _I love you_ on the approaching moon. There’s no way he could ever love a man who doesn’t appreciate a good brooch.

~*~

“Someone’s excited to go home,” Isabelle says when she sees Kurt gathering his things in preparation to go home. “What’s the hurry?”

“I have someone waiting for me.” Kurt answers honestly.

Isabelle gives him an interested smile. “Someone special?”

“Uh you could say that,” Kurt says, thinking the word that best describes his relationship with Sebastian is _essential_.

Isabelle nods towards her office and says, “Come see me for a minute before you go?”

Curious, Kurt stuffs the rest of his belongings hastily into his bag, not caring for crumpled papers or runny ink and follows Isabelle down the corridor to her office. The floor is still filled with people, and it feels weird for Kurt to be leaving this early when he is usually the last to leave much later.

“Have a seat,” Isabelle says once Kurt has shut the door behind himself. Kurt sits with his bag on his lap and feels awkwardly like he’s back to his first meeting with her. They’ve grown comfortable around each other and Kurt has unofficially adopted her as his fairy godmother,  but she’s still his boss, and Kurt can’t help but worry that he’s about to be told off for something he’s done wrong.

He’s restless and fidgety, the full moon hours away and his wolf’s patience running out. Kurt tries his best to sit still and smile like nothing is wrong. Isabelle looks a bit nervous herself, folding his hands on her desk and then suddenly picking up a pen and twirling it in her fingers.

“Kurt, I have something to ask you and I’m afraid it might sound a little silly but -” she pauses, and Kurt raises his eyebrows trying to gently prompt the rest of the sentence from her. Isabelle gives him a tight smile and asks, “Does the full moon hold any significance for you?”

Kurt feels his heart jump to his throat. “W-what?”

Isabelle shifts nervously in her chair, putting the pen back down and folding her hands once again. “Look, I have a sister who got bit when she was twenty, and  we’re not that close, but I can recognize some signs of a werewolf when I see them.”

“And what signs would those be?” Kurt asks, genuinely curious as to where he slipped up. He’s trying to wrap his head around the fact that Isabelle knows about his condition, but there’s a stronger part of him wondering about the _how_ ’s more than anything.

“You ate your steak practically bloody at lunch today and you’ve been restless all week.” Isabelle says.  “But honestly? If I hadn’t noticed the same pattern with my sister and hadn’t been told the full moon’s coming up by Angela last week, I never would have noticed. You’re so _human_ , Kurt. You’re graceful and calm, and you’re working in _fashion,_ which would be the last field Angela would take. I remember her telling me clothes were suffocating for the - the wolf.”

Kurt thinks of Sebastian and his love for nudity and feels a little calmer. The startling feeling of being put on the spot with Isabelle’s question about the full moon is fading now. He doesn’t know any Alphas or packs in the city yet, he hasn’t had time to seek them out, and had he needed help, he’d have had no one to turn to on this territory. But he has Sebastian, and thinking of his mate waiting for him back at his loft, a strong connection to his pack and a reminder that Kurt is not alone, is _never_ alone no matter where he is, grounds him.

“I’m an Alpha,” Kurt says, his shoulders still tense but relaxing gradually at the surprised smile on Isabelle’s face. “And I was born a wolf. I tend to have more control than the average Beta which I’m guessing is what your sister was.”

“Oh I don’t - I don’t really know how all that works,” Isabelle says. “But I know the full moon is hard, and let me just say I’m really, really impressed with how you’ve kept it together.”

“So - you’re not firing me?”

“Of course I’m not firing you!” Isabelle says. “I just wanted you to know if you need someone to talk to about this stuff, I’ll be here. Can’t promise I’ll be able to help but I’m here. For comfort.” She gives Kurt a wide, warm smile and reaches out with her palm up for Kurt’s hand. When Kurt slips his hand into her and she squeezes it, he feels his love for her triple.

~*~

Kurt slides open to door to his loft with a tingling sense of relief. The place is heavy with Sebastian’s scent, like Sebastian has been to every corner and touched every item in the place. At the moment, he’s sitting on Kurt’s couch. But instead of the long limbed human Kurt had been expecting to see, he gets a full grown wolf staring at him as he slides the door shut behind him.

“You’ve made yourself comfortable,” he comments. Sebastian shuffles a little, pulling at something with his paws. Kurt catches a glimpse of his pillow and a laugh bubbles out of him. “You took my advice, that’s a first.”

If Kurt had felt happy seeing Sebastian that morning, it’s nothing compared to what he feels when he sees him now. Dropping his bag on a chair and kneeling in front of the couch, Kurt lets his eyes travel over the familiar form of Sebastian’s wolf, his own stirring desperately inside of him, wanting to come out. 

Sebastian’s fur is soft, his body warm underneath it, rising and falling with his breathing. Kurt leans forward, hugging him close and inhaling his scent, stronger now in his wolf, until everything he feels and smells and hears is Sebastian. The sudden swoop of arousal doesn’t shock him, it had been something he’d been expecting, and Kurt can tell Sebastian can smell it from the way his wolf makes a low growling noise and paws at Kurt’s shirt, but Kurt stands up and says, “Shift. Now.”

Sebastian’s shifted before Kurt has undone the first button of his shirt. “Let me,” he says, his eyes dark and tinted the slightest shade of Alpha-red as he reaches for the buttons. Kurt drops his hands and lets Sebastian’s fingers work the buttons through their holes. He’s careless with them, practically ripping the shirt open in haste.

“Would you _slow down_?” Kurt says, “This is a really expensive shirt!”

“I am _dying_ for you,” Sebastian says, his palms pressing over Kurt’s bare chest, calloused and dragging over his smooth skin deliciously. “I’m not being a gentleman just to save a stupid shirt.”

“And this is why I like you better when you’re in your wolf,” Kurt says, but his anger has softened, Sebastian’s confession and the need painted on his face making his stomach swoop in the way it always does around him, body tingling with warmth. “ _You don’t talk_.”

“I can think of a lot of ways to keep silent if you want,” Sebastian says with a wink as he sinks to his knees. He sucks kisses along Kurt’s body as he does - wet, hot presses of his mouth that make desire pool in Kurt’s belly and his cock stir in his jeans.

“ _Mm_ yeah this is better,” Kurt says, tipping his head back when Sebastian kisses along his waist. “This is _much_ better.”

Sebastian looks up at him when his fingers start to fumble with Kurt’s belt. “Don’t you want to hear me moan, though?” he asks. “Don’t you want to hear all the sounds I make when I suck your cock, see proof of how much I enjoy it?”

He drags Kurt’s jeans and underwear down in one go, running his hands up his thighs before he forms a first around his cock. Kurt whines, so turned out that he _aches_ with it. Sebastian’s mouth is inches from his cock, his breath a warm tease, but Sebastian only continues to stroke his hand down the length of it in slow, teasing strokes.

“Do you want me to suck your cock, Kurt?” He looks like he’s waiting for Kurt to break down and beg him.

Well that’s not going to happen. Kurt fists a hand in Sebastian’s hair, using it to tilt his head back, and pressing the thumb of his other hand to Sebastian’s chin. “I think the real question here,” he says, canting his hips forward so the head of his cock slides wetly along the seam of Sebastian’s lips, “is don’t _you_ want to suck my cock?”

Sebastian grins, tongue darting out to lick at the bead of pre-come clinging to his top lip. Kurt tries his best to stay composed, tries not to react to the filthy moan Sebastian lets out at the taste of him on his tongue. Instead of a playful retort, or more teasing, Sebastian says, “You taste _amazing_ ,” and presses his nose to the crease of Kurt’s thigh, breathing deeply. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Surprised by the sudden shift in mood, Kurt can’t do anything other than soak in the feeling of Sebastian kissing along his thighs, peppering kisses along the soft skin on the insides, and dragging his tongue down the V of his hipbones. When he finally takes Kurt’s cock into his mouth, he looks just as relieved as Kurt feels, eyes slipping closed and cheeks flooding with color as he starts to suck. Under normal circumstances, Kurt would have been able to come just from this. _Nothing_ turns him on more than Sebastian blowing him, but with the moon making his wolf demand more, Kurt feels frustratingly on edge of orgasm.

“Hey, Sebastian?” Kurt says, tugging at Sebastian’s hair to draw his eyes up to his face. Kurt moves his hand from Sebastian’s hair to cup his cheek, and asks, “Wanna fuck me instead?”

Kurt doesn’t have much of a bedroom; it’s just one corner of the loft he’s allocated to a bed, a full length mirror, and racks of clothes. Sebastian doesn’t seem to care about the lack of decorations as he pushes Kurt face first on to the bed. The sheets slip along Kurt’s erection, teasing friction that makes his body flash hotter. Sebastian’s kissing down his back, lips stopping just above the curve of his ass. Kurt’s about to ask him to keep going when Sebastian opens his mouth and drags the flat of his tongue back up Kurt’s spine, making his body arch off the bed.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Kurt gasps, turning his face into a pillow. “ _Fuck me_ , Sebastian. _Please_.”

Kurt’s body is loose from the moon, relaxing easily around Sebastian’s fingers when he slides two in at once. But even though the press and drag of them is delicious, it’s too dry, and Kurt manages to tell Sebastian where he keeps his lube before he loses coherent speech to another wave of mind numbing pleasure.

Sebastian lines himself up behind Kurt, cupping Kurt’s hip with one hand bracing the other against the bed as he starts to push in. Kurt turns his head to the side to see Sebastian’s mouth open in a silent gasp, his eyes shut tight as his cock sinks deeper into Kurt.

They don’t need to wait for Kurt to adjust, the second Sebastian’s all the way in, he starts to grind his hips, twisting them slowly like he’s trying to find the best possible angle. When he does, when his cock hits that delicious spot inside of Kurt that makes his body jerk forward, Sebastian pulls out almost all the way only to thrust back in _harder_. Kurt bites his lip, pressing his face to the mattress and fisting his hands in his sheets as his body rocks with the movement of Sebastian’s thrusts.

“You feel so good,” Sebastian says.

“I can figure as much from th _ah -_ from the – the way you’re – _oh_ ,” Kurt forgets his snark as he starts to come, his orgasm an unexpected, toe-curling, _delicious_ wave of pleasure. His mouth falls open in a noiseless gasp, body shuddering as he shoots sticky streaks of come onto his sheets.

“You were saying?” Sebastian’s voice is smug, his hips back to grinding instead of thrusting.

Kurt turns around, causing Sebastian’s dick to slip out of him in the process. Sebastian frowns at him, half amused, half intrigued as Kurt raises both legs and hooks his ankles over Sebastian’s shoulders. “What are you doing?” Sebastian asks finally, watching Kurt tilt his ass up off the bed.

“Hoping you take the hint and put your cock inside me again.”

Sebastian huffs, stroking his cock a few times before he presses back into Kurt. Kurt can’t stop the smug wave of satisfaction at the sight of how Sebastian’s whole face contorts with pleasure. “Fuck,” he breathes, sinking in fully and holding Kurt’s hips with shaky fingers. The different angle makes Sebastian’s cock drag against his prostate every time he thrusts in. Kurt’s back on the edge of orgasm in seconds.

Leaning down to kiss him, Sebastian starts to fuck him harder. “You close?” he asks. Kurt presses his lips together and nods, capturing Sebastian’s mouth in desperate kiss. When Kurt comes again, spurting hot splashes of come between their bodies, Sebastian breaks away from the kiss to look down at him and say, “You’re so hot it’s _ridiculous_.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you haven’t come yet.”

“Trying...to...draw it out,” Sebastian says through gritted teeth. He slows his thrusts, growling when Kurt purposefully clenches down harder on his cock. “Fuck, stop that.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, but he keeps doing it, reaching up to drag his hands along Sebastian’s chest, fingers catching and squeezing at his nipples. He wants Sebastian to come, he wants to feel him. Sebastian’s body is stretched taut, muscles quivering as he tries to hold out, but all it takes is Kurt leaning up and utilizing some of his flexibility to lick a thick stripe up his chest, and Sebastian is gone. He starts to come, whimpering as he leans down and buries his face in Kurt’s neck.

“I hate you,” he says. “I wanted to stay like that for hours.”

Kurt smiles, wrapping his arms around Sebastian and holding him close as he feels his cock throb hotly inside of him. “You still can.”

~*~

Sebastian flies back to Ohio the next morning, leaving before Kurt comes home from work. Kurt feels a strong pang of loneliness as he strips the sheets off his bed and puts up fresh ones that night, lighting as many scented candles as he can to rid the loft of Sebastian’s scent. It’s hard enough being separated so soon after the moon when he feels cut open and raw without having constant reminders of Sebastian around to send his wolf spiraling.

They don’t talk for a week after that, a week during which Kurt continues to dedicate himself to his job. When he finally calls home, his conversation with Sebastian is devoid of the desperation their previous phone call had consisted of. They discuss how Sebastian’s intending to train the Abbey, about how Kurt’s internship is coming along, and whether Sebastian has decided when he wants to make that trip to Paris he was thinking about.

They’re not planning ways to see each other and there’s no promise of meeting soon, but after Kurt ends the calls, he finds himself grinning at his brick walls for no reason in particular. He just feels an inexplicable bubbly happiness inside his chest which he tries to convince himself has nothing to do with Sebastian and everything to do with the fact that he’s in _New York._

The city continues to amaze him. Once the sounds and smells dim in the background as his wolf gets used to its new surroundings, Kurt can appreciate the city the way he’s always wanted to. He makes friends at work, and they introduce him to _their_ friends, who introduce him to more friends of friends, which is how Kurt ends up meeting Bradley.

It’s a club opening downtown that Chase had talked him into going to on Friday night, and they’re standing in line outside waiting for the rest of Chase’s party to arrive. The club’s called _Infinite_ and the line definitely lives up to the name. It stretches back as far as Kurt can see, seemingly endless.

“Where the hell are these guys?” Chase says, tapping away on his phone. Just then, a girl’s voice calls out his name and Chase turns around to wave, motioning her over. “Jess, I’d like you to meet Kurt. Kurt - Jess. And these wonderful people -” he gestures to the two boys and three girls flanking Jess, “- are Candice, Alyna, Mia, Kyle and Bradley!”

Kurt smiles, scenting them discreetly to try and pick up on a wolf, but they’re clean. He feels a little disappointed. A city as big as New York, he should have found at least one wolf by now. He forgets his disappointment when Bradley steps in next to him, falling into queue as the line shuffles forward. He smells good, and he definitely _looks_ good. He’s Kurt’s height, with a thick mess of wavy brown hair and soft blue eyes.

“How long have you been waiting here?” he asks Kurt and Kurt’s stomach swoops at the thick British accent cocooning his words.

“About twenty minutes,” he replies.

And it’s that easy. The conversation picks up from there and keeps rolling throughout the night. Kurt doesn’t notice how they inch up the line until they’re at the front and being let in. Chase buys them all drinks, slipping a vodka martini into Kurt’s hand with a sly wink. Kurt wants to laugh at how Chase thinks he’s doing him a favor buying him alcohol when he’s underage, when he might as well have been buying him a Coke for all it’ll do to intoxicate him.

He stays with Bradley at the bar while the others make a detour for the dance floor after the first round of drinks and learns that Bradley’s twenty two, originally from London, a film enthusiast working as a graphic designer, and that he really, really wants to take Kurt out for sushi sometime.

“Oh, that...would be nice” Kurt says with a smile that is equal parts flattered and surprised.

“You don’t have a boyfriend do you?” Bradley asks, probably sensing Kurt’s slight hesitance. “Because just to be clear - this is me asking you out on a date.” 

Kurt hesitates, thinking of Sebastian’s grinning face and the soft press of his lips against Kurt’s mouth. But they’ve been careful not to label themselves as anything other than mates, and Kurt’s pretty sure the label of boyfriends still doesn’t apply to them. So he says, “No, I don’t have a boyfriend,” and lets Bradley tap his number into Kurt’s cell phone.

~*~

“I met someone,” is how Kurt answers Sebastian’s incoming Skype call the next week. It’s a good thing the words are out of his mouth before the video clears and he can see Sebastian on the other end, otherwise he’d have lost his words mid speech.

Sebastian’s shirtless, his hair messy like he’s just come back from a run and his biceps flexing deliciously as he adjusts his laptop screen. Kurt’s mouth goes dry.

“Yeah, hang on a second,” Sebastian says, the video blurring as he gives up adjusting the screen and just starts to relocate in his bedroom. Kurt hums, eyes zoning in on the bare skin of Sebastian’s hip when Sebastian moves to lie down on his bed. “Okay this is better. Now what were you saying?”

“Are you naked?” Kurt blurts.

Sebastian grins. “Yes, Kurt. I am very, _very_ naked. But what were you saying about meeting someone?”

“Yeah I -” Kurt shakes the image of Sebastian naked from his mind and focuses on the conversation he needs to have with him tonight. “I met someone.”

“Good for you.” He doesn’t sound upset or angry. “Is he hot?”

Kurt nods, watching the grin on Sebastian’s face widen. “Yeah but that’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

Kurt doesn’t know himself. They’ve already talked about the possibility of dating other people, but suddenly it doesn’t seem so simple. “He asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no.”

“Well you weren’t lying,” Sebastian says but the slight hitch in his tone towards the end makes Kurt feel like the sentence could have led to a _were you?_

“I think I need to tell him about you.”

“And how would you do that _? Hey, listen I’m a werewolf and we need mates who we can bang on the full moon, and you’re just never going to live up to him_.”

“It’s more than that.”

“What is?”

“ _Us_ ,” Kurt says with a huff of breath, watching Sebastian’s mouth twist into an amused smile. “No, I’m serious, Sebastian. You know it.” The rest of it, he leaves unsaid. Sebastian knows what he means without Kurt spelling it out for him; the way they crave each other sometimes in the simplest touches, the feeling of being completed when they’re in bed, the bond of being _pack_ and the future they’re going to have together which may (most likely) include having a child, is not something Kurt can ask anyone to stand by and watch from the sidelines. 

“Kurt,” Sebastian sighs. “You don’t have to get so serious about this right now. You’re allowed to have a couple of flings if you want. It’ll be healthy.”

“Wait are you - are you seeing other people?”

“I’ve been sexually involved with a few, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Kurt feels gutted. He’s aware his expression is frozen in place and it takes a second or two for him to rearrange his features into something relaxed. “Oh.”

“It’s not like you didn’t know,” Sebastian says with a nervous laugh. “Right?”

“Of course I did,” Kurt says quickly. “You’re still _you_.”

It had been so easy to flip off Sebastian as not-his-boyfriend with Bradley, so easy to forget him on his date, but the sound of his voice and the familiar lines of his face make him feel an odd longing for him again, his wolf scrambling to reach out and touch. Kurt puffs out his cheeks, holding in a large breath while Sebastian laughs quietly at him. But Kurt’s too lost in thinking and only lets the breath out when he’s gathered his thoughts. “I like him,” he says. “Bradley. He’s older and he’s British and he’s fun. But I can’t be with him if I’m with you and there’s no way I _can’t_ be with you unless we decide to not meet at all until I finish with this internship.”

Sebastian blinks. “I’m lost. I heard _older_ and _British_ and then _let’s not meet for four more months._ ”

Kurt shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping a finger absently along his collarbone. “It’ll feel like cheating. I can’t do that to him, even if it’s just a _\- a  fling_.”

“Which it is,” Sebastian says slowly like he’s explaining the obvious to an ignorant child. “You don’t think your relationship with Bradley, or with anyone for that matter is going to go anywhere, do you?”

Kurt doesn’t like the sneer in Sebastian’s voice. “I thought we’d agreed that I could have a boyfriend if I wanted,” Kurt snaps.

“Well yeah but you can’t cut off contact with me like this -”

“What, you just assumed I would never want anyone other than you?”

Sebastian’s face hardens. “I never said that.”

“You might as well have, with how jealous you’re acting right now.”

“Jealous? I’m being _jealous_? Did you miss the part where I told you I’ve been fucking people behind your back?”

It stings, like a knife through his chest. Kurt refuses to let it show on his face. “I don’t think you’re jealous of the idea of me and Bradley fucking, I think you’re jealous because I want him to be my boyfriend, and I’ve never said that to you.”

Anger blankets Sebastian’s expression, the cool nonchalance of a few seconds ago long gone. “Maybe it’s never crossed your mind,” he says, his tone harsh, “but _I don’t want to be your boyfriend_. I don’t want to be anyone’s boyfriend for that matter. You’re my mate, and I need you. But if you’re expecting us to be more than just mates, or more than just friends, then you’re going to be really, really disappointed.”

“I’m not expecting anything,” Kurt snaps. “And if you’re so indifferent to it all, then it shouldn’t matter that I’ve asked Bradley out for drinks tomorrow night.”

“You know what, Kurt? It _doesn’t_ fucking matter.” Kurt suddenly remembers the times in middle school when Sebastian’s temper would ignite like a firecracker. “Don’t come home for the holidays, don’t see your pack for another four months, _marry_ Bradley for all I care. I gotta go - Abbey’s calling.”

Kurt doesn’t get a chance to reply before Sebastian disconnects the call. He shuts his laptop slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew the distance would kick in soon enough, he knew that their wolves’ frustration at not being able to touch and feel each other as much as they needed to would fracture their relationship eventually. But he’d counted on their friendship being strong enough to make it work. He hadn’t expected Sebastian to react so strongly to news of Bradley.

_He didn’t though,_ Kurt thinks. _He reacted to me telling him I’m not going to see him for the next four months._

But if Sebastian is so intent on not taking their relationship further, then Kurt can sure as hell decide he wants to do so with someone else. Bradley makes him happy. Sebastian can keep finding comfort in fucking random boys in Ohio, Kurt’s not going to give up on someone who makes him feels as special as Bradley does. Even if the thought of not seeing Sebastian for four months makes a flash of panic course through him.

~*~

The first time Bradley kisses him, standing next to the subway after their date, Kurt is sure that he made the right decision because there is nothing on his mind except Bradley and how happy he feels with him, his body warming from the soft movement of his lips and pressing closer.

They continue to go on dates, working around both their schedules to meet up as frequently as they can. Bradley invites Kurt back to his apartment after a movie one night where Kurt is introduced to his roommate June. She’s a student at the New York Academy for Dramatic Art, and Kurt is immediately enraptured by her. He spends an hour and a half talking to June about where she grew up, why she chose NYADA, and her dreams of being on Broadway. It makes him think of Rachel, of glee club and the countless sleepovers they’ve had dreaming of their own Broadway related fantasies.

Bradley sits on the couch next to him, an arm slung over his shoulder as he listens to them talk without interrupting or looking offended at being ignored. When June finally excuses herself to go to bed, he turns to Kurt with a wide smile and says, “Hello, remember me? I believe I’m your boyfriend.”

_Boyfriend_.

Kurt opens his mouth, ready with a flirty reply but he’s too stuck on _that word_ and all he does is lean in for a hard kiss, hand slipping into Bradley’s thick hair to hold him close. Even Kurt’s wolf feels a wave of affection towards this boy. Bradley pushes Kurt onto his back, Kurt’s legs parting to let him settle in on top of him and then moving to wrap around his waist. Kurt hasn’t been with anyone except for Sebastian, but he thinks it’s safe to bet that he wouldn’t have been comfortable with anyone - human or werewolf - getting him in the most vulnerable position his wolf can be in.

That must mean something.

It does. Because when Kurt has sex with Bradley that night, it’s intense and delicious and nothing like the empty, quick to fade pleasure Sebastian describes with his partners. Kurt assumes it has something to do with how his wolf isn’t the one seeking the contact but his human. The affection, respect and desire to make Bradley feel good all stem from Kurt’s own needs.

“There’s no _way_ he was as good as me,” Sebastian argues the next time he and Kurt talk. The tension from their fight has dissipated by now, replaced by familiar teasing and joking. Kurt’s glad, he doesn’t want to carry around the feeling of guilt and discomfort he’d felt after the disastrous Skype call ever again.

“He was amazing in his own right,” he says, eager to drop the subject of his sex life. “Is Sugar’s dad still trying to bribe you for the Bite?”

Sebastian doesn’t let the topic drop. He seems confused by the notion that Kurt is enjoying sex on something other than a purely physical level. It takes a while for Kurt to look past the teasing in Sebastian’s expression and realize that this is a fact that truly _bothers_ him. He doesn’t know how to bring it up though, knowing that Sebastian will deny any and all feelings towards Kurt, blame it on his wolf one way or another and avoid any honest reply until Kurt is physically present to detect it in his heartbeat.

The thought of Sebastian being jealousof Bradley, not possessive of Kurt in the way a wolf would be of its mate, but actually _jealous_ eats Kurt up for weeks. He keeps trying to detect something in Sebastian’s face that’ll give him away when they Skype, but Sebastian seems to be struggling to hide all emotions. He keeps conversation to pack stuff, talking about how Mr. Motta, whose sister’s best friend’s something or the other is a wolf, wants Sebastian to turn his daughter because she now wants to be a werewolf too.

Sugar had joined Glee Club in Kurt’s senior year. Kurt doesn’t remember interacting with her much, but the sudden reveal that Mr. Motta is trying to get his mate to Bite her makes him wish he knew more about her.

“He’s offering to _pay_ me for it,” Sebastian says with an incredulous shake of his head. “He’s offering _so much money_ just to give his little princess the Bite.”

Kurt laughs, “It’s ridiculous. Just say no.”

“I have. But the Motta’s are very accustomed to getting what they want.”

Kurt rests his chin on his hand and tilts his head, smiling at the picture of Sebastian on his screen. He looks happy, and he looks achingly gorgeous. Kurt’s wolf practically whimpers inside of him. “I miss you,” Kurt says softly.

Sebastian’s smile fades a little, and Kurt thinks he’s going to reply with a bitter _well it’s your choice to not come home_ but all Sebastian says, “You have no idea.”

~*~

Bradley has Kurt underneath him, kissing slowly down his chest. Kurt’s body feels loose and pliant, but he instead of focusing on Bradley, Kurt ends up guiltily thinks of Sebastian and the eager glide of his mouth along his skin, of the quiet hum of pleasure he lets out at the taste of Kurt on his tongue. He thinks of how Sebastian smells when he’s aroused, the spike of excitement and anticipation, the underlying sense of comfort and security his wolf feels. The way every emotion, every touch is amplified and overwhelming and he thinks of how they knot - the urgency, the need to press _closecloser_ and stay there.

“Kurt?”

Kurt blinks, opening his eyes to see Bradley’s flushed face hovering over him.

“Yeah?” Kurt asks, his voice high and breathy and barely audible.

“You said - something.”

“What?” Kurt doesn’t remember saying anything, and now the guilt is washing over him in stronger, harder waves because for a moment, he’d been somewhere else, _with_ someone else.

“You asked me to fuck you,” Bradley says with a small smile. He leans down to seal his mouth over Kurt’s, a sweet kiss that is painfully tender.  “Do you?”

_No_. The reaction is so violent, that Kurt almost spits the word out. The weight of Bradley on top of him starts to feel suffocating, Kurt’s breathing getting harsher and his wolf squirming uncomfortably, desperate to get away, to get on top. It doesn’t want this.

Bradley frowns, the pause stretching out too long between them. “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t. We don’t have to. What we’re doing is great.” His smile is understanding and the way he cups Kurt’s face is meant to be soothing but Kurt wants to pull away, get Bradley’s hands _off_ him.

At the same time, a much stronger part of him, the human part - doesn’t. He feels such a sweet surge of affection for Bradley, that he covers his hand with his own and says, “It’s just - I’m not comfortable with that. It may have just been something I said kind of - in the moment.”

“Kurt, seriously. It’s fine.” Bradley says, and he strokes a thumb along Kurt’s cheekbone before kissing him again. As subtly as he can, Kurt flips them over, feeling immediately better as soon as he’s settled on top.

It’s after Bradley leaves and Kurt is cleaning up his loft that he realizes that tomorrow night is the full moon. How he didn’t realize that sooner, he’s not sure, but suddenly the surge of longing for Sebastian and his wolf’s discomfort with being on its back makes sense.

“Great,” Kurt says aloud, thinking of the movie he’s agreed to go see with Chase after work. Bradley will be there and a few of Kurt’s colleagues and Chase’s friends. All nice people, but if the irritation Kurt is feeling just thinking about them is any indication, getting through the night is going to be difficult.

To blow off steam, Kurt strips down right there in his living room, and shifts into his wolf. His apartment is more cluttered now, chairs and lamps and small tables, just _stuff_ he’s been buying to make the place look less bare and add some life to it, but right now he remembers why he chose this loft in the first place and regrets all the area he’s allocated to unnecessary items. He wants to _run_ , long and fast and without having to go in circles, without having to stop until his bones ache and he’s exhausted but he can’t.

So instead, he runs the length and width of his loft, knocking over things that get in his way and jumping on to furniture to stretch as much as he can. Afterwards, he curls up on a rug, paws folded and his nose straining for a hint of Sebastian anywhere in the apartment. When he picks up nothing, he settles for the memory of him, warm eyes and thick sandy brown fur - the small pup he was when Kurt first saw him and the wolf he is now, taller than Kurt but so easily persuaded onto his back with his belly in the air for Kurt to nuzzle at.

Kurt flaps his paw on his floor, missing the way Sebastian’s eyes used to shine with happiness when they stopped panting in front of each other after a run. He wants to howl, feels it building in his throat, but even his wolf has enough sense to keep it in. There’s too much danger associated with that particular form of relief.

But - _Sebastian_.

Kurt dreams of him and wakes up human, his back stiff from the hard floor and his alarm shrilling on his phone. After rubbing the sleep from his eyes and shutting the alarm off, Kurt finds he has two text messages. One is from Chase, reminding him of their movie plans, and the other is from Rachel.

**I miss you like crazy today. Especially after seeing how sad Sebastian was last night during our pre-moon run. I think he misses you more than he’s telling us. Anyway, I hope you have a good moon. We NEED to Skype asap <3 **

Kurt reads over the message four times but it doesn’t make the ache in his chest go away.

~*~

The moon’s painful.

Kurt goes to the movie to keep himself distracted but twenty minutes in, his shoulders ache and his head hurts from the loud music and flashing images. He gets up, muttering apologizes as he navigates past people’s legs to get outside.

Bradley follows him into the quiet calm of bathrooms. “Are you okay?” he asks, watching Kurt’s reflection as Kurt splashes water on his face.

“I have a headache,” Kurt says. “I think I’m going to head home.”

“I’ll come with you,” Bradley says immediately. Kurt notes how it’s not phrased as a question. He thinks of saying _no, you shouldn’t,_ but he lets it go. It’s going to be even more painful being alone in his loft with the memories of last month’s moon and Sebastian. Maybe Bradley will sedate his wolf with quiet company.

Bradley lets Kurt strip down to his underwear and crawl into bed once they get back to Bushwick. Kurt’s feeling a long forgotten blood lust creeping up in him and he almost slashes Bradley’s face when Bradley reaches out to touch his waist. “Sorry,” he apologizes quickly at seeing the stunned look on Bradley’s face. “I’m just really tired.”

“Here,” Bradley moves closer, spooning Kurt from behind and wrapping an arm around his waist. “Cuddles always make me feel better.”

Kurt pretends to sleep, if only to avoid conversation, but he stays awake long after Bradley drops off to sleep. He only closes his eyes, feeling truly exhausted when the sprinkling of predawn light starts to fill the apartment. Then, he presses his cheek to his pillow, breathes in deeply and sleeps.

~*~

Halloween, after Kurt and Bradley stumble back to Kurt’s loft from Chase’s party, Kurt considers telling Bradley the truth. A little over two months together and there weren’t many moments before now that Kurt had thought of being completely honest about who - _what_ he was. But tonight, everything Bradley does makes Kurt want to come out with it; when Bradley brings Kurt a large mug of hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream and little sprinkles on top that Kurt didn’t even know he had in his kitchen, when he kisses the corner of Kurt’s mouth and giggles, just a little bit drunk off the cocktails he had at the party, and especially when he cuts Kurt off mid conversation to say, “Kurt, I love you.”

Kurt stares, lips parted and breath caught in his throat as he lets the declaration sink in. It’s the first time someone who wasn’t pack has told him they love him. It’s not the most romantic setting ever, with makeup still smearing Bradley’s eyes and Kurt’s record player deciding to get stuck _just_ at that moment – but it’s perfect. Kurt leans forward, hot chocolate still held precariously in one hand as he reaches out with the other and cups Bradley’s face. “I love you, too,” he says, smearing some eyeliner with his thumb and huffing out a laugh.

It’s not _the_ truth he wanted to tell Bradley, but it’s definitely _a_ truth.

For the few seconds Kurt sets aside his drink and pulls Bradley closer to kiss him, he’s carelessly happy, thinking that there is nothing that can ruin this night. Until Bradley pulls back and says, “I have something to tell you.”

Kurt smiles, a little flirty, a little curious, “Something _other_ than the fact that you love me?”

His humor doesn’t lighten the mood, Bradley still looks too serious as he scoots back on the couch and scrubs a hand down his already makeup smeared face. “I wish I could put this off but there’s really no simple way to say it and -”

“What?” Kurt prompts, raising his eyebrows.

Bradley sighs and presses his lips together before he says, “I’ve been offered a job back home.”

It takes a few seconds for Kurt to reply. “Home as in -”

“London, yeah.”

“You applied for a job in London?”

“ _Way_ back,” Bradley says, his arm flailing as he tries to encompass the time span from when he applied for the job to the present moment in a single sweep. “I didn’t even know they were still looking for someone. But I got the email last night and I didn’t want to wait to tell you in case it looked like I’d been keeping it secret.”

“And you’re going to accept it?” Kurt asks. “You’re going to go back?” Bradley nods, taking Kurt’s hands and pressing a kiss to the back of each one as Kurt’s eyes start to burn with tears. “Brad,” he says in an almost whisper.

Bradley looks up at him, all soft blue eyes dripping with the affection Kurt’s become so used to seeing on a frequent basis. “Come with me?”

Kurt shakes his head, not needing even a moment’s consideration to realize the answer is “I can’t.”

“Come on, you said so yourself you want to travel before you start school.”

“Travel, yes, but -”

“We could rent a flat together,” Bradley says excitedly, squeezing Kurt’s hands. “And there are _tons_ of places you could apply to in London -”

“Bradley I _can’t leave_. I have -” a pack to go home to“-responsibilities.”

Bradley looks at him helplessly, his expression crumbling. “You won’t even consider it?” Kurt’s silence and his expression must give away his answer. Bradley pulls his hands away from Kurt’s and buries his face in them.

“We could try long distance?” Kurt says, staring at the tuft of Bradley’s hair.

“For how long?” Bradley asks. He lifts his head, eyes sad.

Kurt feels his throat clog with emotion, eyes filling with tears. “Then this is – this it? You’re going to break up with me seconds after telling me you love me?”

“I _do_ love you,” Bradley says, his expression painfully sincere. “And I really want you to believe that. But I have to take this job. It’s got _amazing_ potential for growth, and it’s not an opportunity that comes around often.”

It’s like watching a ship sink and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. Kurt swallows the lump that’s lodged itself in his throat fights back tears and says, “I understand.” He wishes there was more he could say, but those two words encompass everything he's feeling right now. He understands; why Bradley has to leave, why he can't join him, and why this was never meant to wrok. 

~*~

The Saturday after Bradley leaves, Kurt takes the last train to Ohio without telling anyone back home that he’s coming. He needs to see Sebastian. He wants to see the rest of his pack too, but he _needs_ Sebastian. Ever since Bradley told him he was moving, Kurt’s wolf has been craving his mate. Craving the reassurance that Sebastian isn’t going to leave him like Bradley did; Sebastian is _always_ going to be his, and not even a job in another country is going to be enough to push them apart.

He takes a cab from the station straight to Sebastian’s house, the rain sleeting down around him. Columbus looks like a watercolor painting through the cab window, everything blurred through the spatter of rain. Kurt thinks it’s beautiful, fresh and pure, and a reminder of afternoons spent splashing in puddles with Sebastian when they were young.

The impatience to get to him only heightens with the memory, and Kurt almost tells the cabbie to drive faster. The rain still hasn’t let up by the time the cab pulls up on Sebastian’s street, and Kurt gets drenched in the few seconds it takes to get from the car to the shelter of Sebastian’s porch. He uses the duplicate keys he has to the front door to let himself in, dropping his bag at the entrance, and shaking out the raindrops from his hair.

Now that he’s inside, he feels calmer, the tight knot of tension that has been lodged in his chest all week loosening as he breathes in the scent of Sebastian hanging heavily around him.

Judging from the darkness and the silence blanketing the house, Sebastian is fast asleep. Kurt climbs the stairs silently, navigating his way through the dark with ease, and sure enough, when he enters the room, he finds Sebastian flat on his back, eyes closed and lips parted slightly as he sleeps.

Kurt drinks in the sight of him for a few seconds before stripping down to his boxer briefs and pulling the covers off Sebastian so he can crawl in next to him. He’s not surprised Sebastian doesn’t wake up through any of it; he’s the heaviest sleeper Kurt has ever met. It’s only when Kurt hooks a leg over his sleep-warm thigh, and curls himself closer to his side, that Sebastian stirs awake.

Blinking his eyes open to look down at him, he says, “Kurt?”

“Hi.”

“What -” his voice is thick, and groggy with sleep, edging on disbelief. “What are you _doing_ here?”

“It’s been a bad week. I thought my wolf would feel calmer with you.” Kurt says simply, pressing his nose to the curve of Sebastian’s throat. Sebastian knows about his break up with Bradley, hasn’t said anything other than _I’m sorry_. Kurt prefers it that way. He doesn’t want to think about Bradley, and he doesn’t want to hear the subtle undertones of _I told you it could never go further_ in Sebastian’s voice.

Sebastian’s arms wrap around him, pulling him closer. He’s shirtless, a pair of boxer briefs the only clothing he’s wearing, and his skin is so deliciously warm. He inhales deeply, like he’s trying to breathe in Kurt’s scent as much as he can. “You should have told me you were coming.” His fingers stroke Kurt’s hair, slipping lower to rub the back of his neck, and then smoothing down his spine to rest at curve of his hip.

“It was kind of a last minute decision,” Kurt admits, his body melting into the touch. “I haven’t told anyone I’m here.”

“I’m glad you are,” says Sebastian as his eyes slip shut. “I was starting to miss you.”

“ _Starting_ to?” Kurt teases.

Sebastian nods, a smile stretching his lips. “Mm, I’ve been too busy being an amazing Alpha to miss my other half.”

“That’s not what Rachel told me.”

Sebastian tenses for a second, but quickly relaxes again, and asks, “What did Rachel tell you?”

“That you’ve been down lately, and not as enthusiastic about pack runs or training as you usually are.”

“Yeah, well...” Sebastian trails off, like he’s buying time to formulate an excuse. He doesn’t seem to find one that’s plausible enough so he drops the subject and asks, “When do you have to get back?”

“Tomorrow night,” Kurt replies. Kicking his foot out a bit, he adds, “I don’t want to think about that. I want to be here with you, and not think about having to leave again. Okay?”

Sebastian’s quiet for a few minutes, hand still running up and down the length of Kurt’s back. Every stroke makes Kurt’s bones relax further into the bed, and he feels his wolf heave a relieved sigh at the contact, settling down comfortably for the first time in weeks. He expects himself to drop off to sleep considering how long this week has been, and how exhausted he feels, but a few minutes later he’s still not sleepy. Regardless, it still feels like an immense effort to move his tongue accordingly to ask, “Sebastian do you love me?”

There’s a pause that seems to stretch out forever until Sebastian’s arms tighten around him. “Of course I do, you’re my mate.”

“No – that’s not what I meant.”

He doesn’t clarify what he _did_ mean by that question because both of them already know. Sebastian hesitates, his hand no longer moving on Kurt’s back but lying heavy and warm in the space between his shoulder blades. Eventually, after another terse pause, he says, “I love you more than anyone else ever can or will.”

Kurt kisses Sebastian’s chest, fingers curling against his skin as he feels a rush of affection for him which is definitely more his wolf’s reaction than his own. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. The need to mark, to be closer and cover himself with Sebastian’s scent grows alarmingly fast. “Hey,” Kurt says quietly, circling his fingers over Sebastian’s nipple. He tilts his head up, nudging Sebastian’s jaw with the tip of his nose, “Kiss me.”

Sebastian does, leaning down to press their mouths together, soft and gentle and sweet. Kurt moves the hand that had been on Sebastian’s chest to cup his cheek and pull him closer, parting his lips so they slot together better than before. Their breaths comes out in quiet gasps as their kisses deepen, the rustle of sheets as Kurt moves to straddle Sebastian’s lap drowning out the low whistle of the wind.

Kurt pulls back after a few seconds to unbutton his shirt, slowing down the movement of his fingers when he sees the way Sebastian’s eyes darken as he watches him. “Want to fuck me?” he asks, knowing full well the effect the words always have on Sebastian.

To his surprise, Sebastian shakes his head. “I want you to fuck _me_ ,” he says.

Kurt bites his lip, dragging his eyes along the bare skin of Sebastian’s chest. He doesn’t say anything, but he leans down to kiss Sebastian again, harder this time, and with promise. After Kurt’s shucked off his jeans and underwear, and rid Sebastian of his own boxer briefs, he reaches into the nightstand for the lube he knows Sebastian keeps there. He finds the tube almost empty, and smirks. “Someone’s been busy.”

Sebastian doesn’t let the comment affect him. He shrugs, snatching the tube from Kurt’s fingers and popping the cap open to dribble some onto Kurt’s outstretched hand. Kurt’s mouth goes dry when Sebastian spreads his legs, tilting his ass up for him. It feels familiar, comfortable, moving around like this, asking for what they want and trusting the other to know how to give it to them. Kurt gives Sebastian’s mouth one last hasty kiss before starts to press his fingers into him, slow but sure. Sebastian’s shoulders push off the bed, his eyebrows scrunching together and eyes squeezing shut tighter as he lets out another wrecked moan.

“Hurry up,” he grits out, barely a few seconds after Kurt’s started to finger him.

If they wanted, they could probably fuck without the prep. Some lube would have been enough, just something to slicken the slide of his cock, since they’re always naturally relaxed enough to take each other. The fingering is more of a formality and something that’s stuck in his mind from the human sex pamphlets his dad had given him. Seeing the impatience on Sebastian’s face though, he decides they cut it short this one time, especially since foreplay isn’t really on their agenda.

Sebastian lets out a small sigh when Kurt finally pushes into him. His hands come to rest at the dip in his back, pressing hard until Kurt’s buried deep inside of him. “Finally,” he breathes out. “I’ve been waiting to get fucked for months.”

“It’s barely been two months,” Kurt points out as he starts to thrust slowly. His hands are braced on the bed on either side of Sebastian’s head, and his arms quiver as pleasure rockets through him with even the shallowest thrust. Sebastian is hot, squeezing greedily around his cock and Kurt’s back arches, jaw going slack with how _good_ everything feels.

“Two months feels like fucking forever,” Sebastian says, sweaty hands slipping at the small of Kurt’s back, sliding lower to squeeze at his ass “You should know. Or was Bradley so good in bed you never had the chance to miss me?”

There’s no bite in his words, but Kurt feels the sting anyway. He leans down, nipping at Sebastian’s jaw and moving his lips to his ear to say, “I never fucked Bradley like this. I never fucked anyone like this.”

Sebastian’s nail scratch a path up his back, little drags of pain that make Kurt thrust harder. “And you never will,” Sebastian says, his voice smug. “Because this part of you is all _mine_.”

Kurt knows he’s talking about the possessive animal that lives inside of him, that wants Sebastian with every breath. It doesn’t explain the sudden urge he has to say, _every part of me is yours_. It should feel too soon, it’s only been a week since Bradley left. Kurt should still feel broken up over his leaving, but it’s difficult to focus on anyone, even on someone as pivotal as Bradley had become to him, when he’s with Sebastian like this. Kurt wonders if he’d have been so quick to jump into bed with another human if he’d still be in New York, or even if he’d have jumped into bed with Sebastian had _they_ both been human. The lines between their human and their wolves blur sometimes, and with how easy it is to pin every little flash of desire for Sebastian on his wolf, Kurt doesn’t usually analyze how he feels about him outside of their pack bond.

But _I love you more than anyone else ever can or will_ rings in his ears, and Kurt finds himself saying, “I love you too, you know.”

“That’s great, but just – _fuck_ – right there,” Sebastian’s jaw goes slack as Kurt angles his hips and thrusts the way Sebastian wants him to. He can’t resist leaning down to drag his lips along Sebastian’s parted ones, not quite kissing as it is touching and breathing against each other’s mouths.

“I mean it,” Kurt whispers, catching the corner of Sebastian’s mouth with a kiss just as a shiver of pleasure ripples through his whole body. “I love you.”

Sebastian’s eyes open, dark and clouded with lust. One of his hands moves to cup the back of Kurt’s neck, and he uses it to pull Kurt the rest of the way down into a proper kiss, one with long strokes of hot tongue and sharp nips of teeth. “I know,” he says, lips turning up into a smile.

“Smug bastard,” Kurt mutters, and just to spite Sebastian, he pulls out.

“What the fuck?!”

Kurt scoots back on the bed to grab the discarded tube of lube. “Stay,” he commands, giving him a pointed look when he tries to sit up. Squeezing some lube onto his palm, he moves back to crawl on to Sebastian’s lap, taking Sebastian’s cock into his hand and giving it a few strokes to spread the lube.

Sebastian hisses, neck arching as he leans his head back in the pillow. “ _Fuck_ ,” he gasps, hips twisting off the bed to push further into Kurt’s fist. “Fuck Kurt, I’m _so_ close.”

“You better not come,” Kurt warns. “Not before I get a chance to ride you.”

It’s not the full moon, so their stamina probably isn’t going to be as strong as it was the last time they fucked, and they won’t knot, but Kurt would still like to go as many times as he can. He pulls his hand away from Sebastian’s dick and starts to sink down on it, wincing at the slight drag, because even with the copious amount of lube Kurt has used, and with minimum resistance from his body, the push is still drier than it usually is.

Which – somehow makes it _better_. Kurt bites his lip, pressing his hands to Sebastian’s chest as he starts to grind his hips. He’s missed this feeling so much, that he’s on edge embarrassingly fast. It doesn’t help when Sebastian starts to stroke his cock, thumbing the head and the thick vein running on the underside in the way that always drives Kurt mad.

“Oh – _oh_ god,” he gasps, squeezing his eyes shut. “Yes, keep doing that.”

Sebastian’s hips starts to fuck up harder into him, the sounds of skin slapping skin echoing in the room. Kurt moans, unashamed and loud as his body starts to tense. He’s so close, pushing up into the tight heat of Sebastian’s fist, and then slamming his hips down to meet Sebastian’s thrusts, his cock stretching and filling him deliciously. When he finally comes, it’s with heat rushing through his body, pleasure slamming into him and making everything blurry around the edges. He hears Sebastian swear in a low voice, feels the hot rush of Sebastian’s come inside of him as he finds his own orgasm, and  then he’s slumping down, Sebastian’s cock slipping out of him as Kurt presses a sweaty cheek to Sebastian’s chest and breathes out against his skin.

Sebastian is wiping his hand on the sheets, and once he’s finished, he brings both of them to rest on Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt’s heart is still beating erratically, and turning his head to mouth at Sebastian’s collarbone does little to calm it, but the act seems to drag out the lingering bursts of pleasure erupting in his body. Sebastian’s skin is salty with a thin sheen of sweat, familiar underneath that, and _delicious_. There’s an angry red mark, or a chain of them to be more precise, blooming on Sebastian’s skin by the time Kurt lifts his head again. They’re not as dark as the Marks Kurt had left on his skin when he’d first claimed Sebastian as his mate, but they’re still dark enough to make Kurt think they’ll last for a few more days.

He traces a finger over the outline of them, watching Sebastian smile up at him. It’s a gentle smile, it’s a smile that makes Kurt feel good about himself, and makes him feel loved all at once. “Want to go for round two?” he asks, dipping his head down to kiss at Sebastian’s chin.

Sebastian’s smile turns wolfish, his eyes glinting playfully as he surges up to capture Kurt’s lips in a silent _yes_.

~*~

Kurt wakes up when it’s still mostly dark. Pre-dawn light filters through the curtains, and he can hear the shower running in the bathroom. the sound of water echoing around the room along with the rain pattering against the windows. Stretching languidly, he turns on to his side, feeling the delicious crack of his bones as he works out the kinks from sleep and the sex the previous night. He hasn't felt this  _compelte_ in a long time. He thinks guilitly of Bradley and how just a few weeks ago, he'd admitted to loving him, but he should have known better. He should have known that Bradley wasn't going to last, that no amount of love would be able to work through the barrieres Kurt's wolf would have eventually put up between them.

Bradley's made him realize something he thinks Sebastian has known all along - Kurt and Sebastian the only two people in the world for each other. They can fuck as many people as they want, they can fall in and out of love as many times as they want, but they are always going to gravitate back towards each other in the end. And it's not just because of their wolves, though that's part of it. It's because despite everything, despite how he's convinced himself he doesn't want a relationship with Sebastian, the truth is that he does. He always has. It just ook a broken heart to make him admit to it. 

The sound of the shower cuts off suddenly, and a few seconds later, the door to Sebastian’s en-suite opens and he comes out with nothing but a towel around his waist. Kurt smiles at him, sleepy and lazy. “Did I wake you?” Sebastian asks, little droplets of water clinging to his skin as he starts towards his closet.

“No,” Kurt replies. He watches Sebastian pull the towel away from his waist, watches the muscles in his bare ass shift as he steps into a fresh pair of underwear and pulls it up. The cotton clings to his body in the most delicious ways, and Kurt finds his cock stirring in interest even though it’s barely been a few hours since he last had him. “Why are you getting dressed?” he asks. “I’m just going to take it all off in a few minutes.”

Sebastian throws a smirk over his shoulder and mutters, “You’re insatiable,” before saying, “I’ve got a training session with Max and Abbey.”

“What – _right now_?” Kurt looks out the window incredulously. “The sun isn’t even up! _And_ it's still raining.”

“I prefer my training sessions early, and I like the rain so it doesn't bother me,” Sebastian says with a shrug. He walks back to Kurt with his jeans done up but his chest still bare. “You can come if you want.”

Kurt hums absently, more focused on the heavy weight of Sebastian straddling his lap than a training session. He’s going to go, he knows that. He’s been missing his pack, and he wants to see how Abbey is getting on, but right now, he wants – “C’mere,” he says, waving his arm in a lazy attempt to get Sebastian to kiss him. Sebastian tastes like toothpaste and mouth wash, but it doesn’t stop Kurt’s cock from rising to the opportunity.

Sebastian grins when he looks between their bodies and sees Kurt’s erection curving up to his stomach. “Want some help, stud?”

“Actually I want to talk first.”

“What about?”

Kurt laces his fingers through Sebastian’s and stares at him for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. “I-what you said about never being able to have anything but a fling with someone else? You were right.”

“I usually am.”

Kurt uses his free hand to slap Sebastian’s side. “Shut up." He takes a deep breath and starts again, "After Bradley and I broke up, I started thinking about what you’d said and how I’m never going to feel about anyone as strongly as I feel about you, that no matter how much we pretend we don’t want to be in a relationship – we’re kind of already in one.”

Sebastian swallows thickly, his throat bobbing as he stares at their fingers intertwined together. “And?”

"And I don't know if it's going to work out between us, but I know our wolves are too devoted to each other for it to fall apart completely, and I know I love you enough to want to make it work."

"What are you saying, Kurt?"

"I'm saying -" Kurt licks his lips, stares at the sharp cut of Sebastian's jaw and squeezes his fingers. "I want you to be my boyfriend." 

Sebastian's face is unreadable, but his heartbeat speeds up. Kurt waits with his breath held in his chest for Sebastian to say something. Finally, Sebastian says, "What if I don't want to be?" but his tone is defensive, like he knows he's already lost and he's trying to salvage some dignity. Typically Sebastian. 

Kurt grins, not buying his hesitancy for a second and pulls his hand free to cup the back of Sebastian's neck and draw him down for a kiss. Sebastian drops his facade somewhere between the fourth and five press of Kurt's lips to his skin. He works an arm underneath Kurt's shoulders and lifts him up from the bed, pressing him against his chest. "I always knew," he says with a hint of smugness to his done. "I always knew you would end up wanting me." 

"And what about you?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow as his fingers trace along Sebastian's jaw. "What about how you've always wanted  _me_ but were too stupid to admit to it?" 

Sebastian deftly avoids answering the question, and slants his mouth back over Kurt's, humming happily. 

Kurt knows he has to go back to New York tonight, he knows they still have a lot to work through, and that there is a lot that could go wrong. But - right now he can push everything else to the back of his mind and enjoy the sound of rain splashing against the window, the distant rumble of thunder, and the sound of Sebastian's breath hitching as he licks deeper into Kurt's mouth. He can enjoy the way their bodies slot together when Sebastian moves to fit a knee between his thighs, and how his wolf rolls around inside of him when Sebastian lowers himself down on top of him so his weight is pressing Kurt to the bed completely. 

They're mates, and they'r boyfriends, and best friends, and it'll all shoot to hell soon, or it'll all work out. Neither of them know. But there's no way out, and instead of making Kurt panic, the thought makes him feel comforted. They're going to be in this together, and they'll get through whatever comes together because they're pack, and even through the worst times, in the end, it's the pack that survies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Bradley's character was based off Adam but I wrote the whole section with him before we knew anything about Adam's character (he was still Paul back then) and so I left it unedited, and let Bradley become a character by himself.


End file.
